sorry for being noidpilled

Can we talk about the unique experience of genuinely not knowing what haircuts to even consider when you’re black??? Because like… “short hair” happens with both black men and black women, bald/shaved happens with both, long happens with both, braids and locs happen with both, afros happen with both

Sure, I can look up pics of Black men with a buzz cut but 99.9% of them are gonna be cis Black men, folks I look nothing like. And if I add in trans, I’m scared that instead of getting articles about hair cuts, I’m gonna articles about violence we’ve faced over these past few years.

I wanna see sites and articles discussing Black hair and styles for Black trans people. If there’s a site for it, I’d like to know dearly and I want that shit to be boosted to high hell because resources for Black hair, let alone for Black trans people aren’t really around. Especially when it comes to Black folks with 4c hair, like myself.

I’ve sort of had to… make things up as I go along. Like you, I was told repeatedly that my hair texture does not look good when cut short. It took me a very long time to want to try a shorter style as a result. It took me even longer to say fuck it, big chop, and shave my head bald. There. Starting fresh.

What I’ve found has been working for me is to first figure out what hair texture you have. I find just googling “black male hairstyle” will get you mostly 4c hair which is great for those who have it and the facial structure to match! And less great for those who don’t! With me having 3b/3c hair, I was able to find a number of short styles on a wide variety of faces and thus was able to figure out what worked best for how I like to look. And it did take some experimentation and trust, but it ultimately made me really appreciate taking the time to actually do my hair rather than feeling like it was this massive chore.

Once you find your hair texture, you need to do two things:

Figure out what hairstyles you like best with your hair texture. Avoid gendered terms if you can. If you want a short style, look for short styles. If you want a long style, look for long styles. BLACK MEN CAN AND DO WEAR THEIR HAIR LONG frequently as an afro, braids, or locs. It’s up to you to then decide if that long look is something you’re interested in, and how to masculinize it if so. Personally, I prefer the ever popular shaved sides look, and eventually will be getting braids or locs with the length on the top depending if my 3b/3c hair will actually cooperate with locs. I did the fro look for a while and I’ve had cornrows but for the most part I put some product in it and wear my natural curls that way. Protective styling is a big big thing with black men even though it’s mostly only spoken about in the context of female styles. I had a really long conversation with a black coworker about protective styles and how he chooses to do his hair, which is actually longer than mine.

And, figure out the best care for your hair texture. For me, I have a rotating schedule of oil to rub into my scalp and shea butter pomade to style with when wearing my hair natural. All those selfies of mine, if my hair is free, it’s got one of the two in it. I got a lot better about protecting my hair at night, using a leave-in overnight and the day after wash day. Being consistent on the timing of wash day. I use black owned shampoo and conditioner in my hair made specifically for black men. I use a durag and a sport cap to protect my hair on days when its most prone to damage. My hair has never been healthier and I’ve never been happier with the way I can wear and style it.

It was a huge transition for me because I used to have waist-length hair and then shaved my head bald about a year and a half ago to start over and build a better routine than semi resentment from the ground up. 

With your 4c hair I would say to take a glance at these:

https://www.google.com/search?q=4c+short+hairstyles&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiN74vNxP_xAhVND98KHe_NBZoQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=4c+short+hairstyles&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzIECAAQQzICCAAyAggAMgIIADIGCAAQBRAeMgYIABAFEB4yBggAEAUQHjIGCAAQBRAeMgYIABAFEB4yBggAEAUQHlCvugNYr7oDYIO8A2gAcAB4AIABVogBVpIBATGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=UAn-YI2HKM2e_Abvm5fQCQ&bih=811&biw=1368&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS881US881

https://www.google.com/search?q=4c+short+hairstyles+masculine&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjf34_pxP_xAhWkfN8KHRBQBgUQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=4c+short+hairstyles+masculine&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoCCAA6BAgAEB46BggAEAUQHjoGCAAQCBAeUNKKBFi6owRgsaQEaABwAHgAgAF-iAGuBpIBAzkuMZgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1nwAEB&sclient=img&ei=iwn-YJ_uGqT5_QaQoJko&bih=811&biw=1368&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS881US881

https://www.google.com/search?q=4c+short+hairstyles+male&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwje2rGLxf_xAhXCBd8KHdpUAZcQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=4c+short+hairstyles+male&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzIGCAAQCBAeOgQIIxAnUMWlA1jYtgNgi7gDaAJwAHgAgAFZiAGVBpIBAjExmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWfAAQE&sclient=img&ei=0wn-YJ6lEsKL_AbaqYW4CQ&bih=811&biw=1368&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS881US881

As there are a number of different styles besides just shaving your head completely bald, and depending on your comfort level, you can try out a good deal of them before making a firm decision on what exactly you want your head to look like.

✿﹕CATGIRLBOYTHING ︵︵ a gender related to being a catgirlboything ; like a thing who’s a catgirlboy , a girlboy who’s a catthing , etc.

✿﹕CATBOYGIRLTHING ︵︵ a gender related to being a catboygirlthing ; like a thing who’s a catboygirl , a boygirl who’s a catthing , etc.

⋯﹕coined by me , requested by anon ( may or may not have deleted the ask instead of answering it. sorry chime. )

Calling myself aropunk from now on tbh. Aropunk can encompass many experiences; it is for people who feel aropunk describes their relationship with aromanticism/romantic attraction. For me it's because I find the concept of romantic attraction stupid (particularly bc no one has a solid definition on what it IS, it's different and personal for each person...) and completely reject it. But for another, it may be because they reject how amatonormative society treats them for being aromantic, for example.

someone may have coined aropunk before but I couldn't find anything like that so! doing it myself lol

I went through so very much anxiety coming out, and when I really think about it it was squarely from the fear of being wrong about it all. That I was, at heart, a cishet woman, and therefore I was appropriating a label that didn't 'belong' to me, and I would (somehow) be harming other people by doing so. There's so much more unnecessary pressure if the sword hanging over your head is "But you do have to be right about this, you can't back out once you've even asked the question."