Beautiful Soup

Surf? A giant wave of water that your pokemon can ride. A thunderous tide. Invokes the ocean.

Thunderbolt? Arcing flashes of electricity zap you.

Flamethrower? Fire breath, fire throwing, an arc of propelled flame is classic.

“Do Dead Malls Go To Heaven?”

It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.

OP: On July 14, 2026, heavy rain pounded Jilin, triggering the Songhua River’s first flood of the year. Water levels surged, and currents turned dangerously violent. A kitten got stranded on a tiny clump of willow branches out in the river, trapped for two full days with waves threatening to sweep it away at any moment.

The river was far too rough for regular boats, leaving no obvious way to rescue it. Crowds gathered on the bridge, scrambling to figure out how to help. A drone pilot heard about the kitten and rushed over with his gear. His plan: hang a blue bucket from the drone as a rescue pod, baited with cat food to lure the kitten inside.

First attempt: The kitten was too scared to step into the bucket. Failed. Second attempt: It climbed into the bucket, but panicked and jumped back onto the branches the second the drone lifted off. Everyone watching held their breath. Third attempt: Another pilot on site guided the drone from a different angle. The kitten finally hopped safely into the bucket.

The rescue worked. The drone carried the kitten steadily back to shore, and nearly a hundred onlookers on the bridge cheered out loud.

-Don’t use “buy now pay later.” The fine print isn’t what it seems.

-The fine print on medical financing, store credit cards, and contactless payment is also not what it seems.

-Payday loans are still predatory, even when offered by your employer

-Rewards programs are an income stream for the companies that run them. The points systems are manipulated so that the house always wins. They depend on people leaving money in rewards accounts and not in interest-bearing traditional bank accounts.

-Electronic payment apps like VenMo are not banks. You don’t earn interest. Your money is not protected.

-Your financial information is not private if your money is not kept in a regulated bank.

-None of this is regulated by the FDIC. Your money is not protected if it is held by a non-bank doing banking business. Our economy is not protected from the collapse of financial institutions that are not banks.

 A third of younger Americans hold their savings on nonbank tech platforms like Venmo

PEOPLE! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR MONEY IN VENMO OR APPLE PAY OR ANY OF THIS SHIT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO FIND A REAL BANK OR A CREDIT UNION.

If Venmo were to close tomorrow all your money would vanish. There's no insurance or guarantee on any of these things. I know banks aren't great but legit banks will have the "FDIC insured" logo on their doors and websites, which means if my bank goes under tomorrow I still get my money back. Also I guarantee you there is a credit union somewhere in your town, go find it.

your funds are insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC in the event Green Dot Bank fails

In the event Green Dot Bank fails. Meaning the only time your money is protected is if Green Dot goes under. Not if Apple goes under (unlikely, granted). Or if Apple changes its terms (entirely possible). Or if you got scammed. Or if Apple freezes your account because they think you're the one scamming. Or any of the other countless mishaps your money could suffer. Green Dot is insured, but Apple Cash is not.

This is the disclaimer (highlighted) you see before you set up Apple Cash:

For the love of god get an account at a federally insured institution. Look for FDIC (banks) or NCUA (credit unions) insured and regulated financial institution. They are legally required to have this status publicly available and accessible so it's not hard to find.

The FDIC and/or NCUA will insure your accounts up to $250,000 PER AUTHORIZED SIGNER and per account type. These are factors to max your coverage to even higher than $250k but the key point is that if something happens to your bank or accounts there, that first $250k of your money is secured anyway.

Banks are for profit. Credit Unions are exactly what it sounds like: unions. They are not for profit and member owned.

Bigger institutions have more money and resources at their disposal; they have the fancier apps, 24/7 phone banking and more locations. But watch out! They are no different than any other large corporation you've heard of when it comes to ethics. Smaller institutions have more limitations, and lesser size is not an indicator of morality, but it's something to consider when choosing where to keep your money.

These institutions, regardless of what kind you choose, will offer interest bearing accounts. Money Market Savings and Time Accounts (also called Certificates of Deposit,) are popular choices to put the money you already have to work for you. You can earn money just for having your money in an interest bearing account type.

All financial institutions charge fees of one sort or another. They are offering products and services, after all. Nothing is free! They will also disclose options to avoid paying those fees, usually based around meeting specific criteria such as minimum balances or direct deposits.