MKMB Blogs

I was reminded of how music can enhance my life when I picked up my violin this week. As a “recreational violinist”, I had barely touched my violin for years. The ambitious achiever in me picked up the Symphonie Espagnole by Edouard Lalo. Why Lalo? It’s the most challenging and expressive piece of music I have ever touched. Even though conquering the complicated strings of sharps and flats was satisfying, my solo experience left me feel empty. Thankfully, with Pandora, I had right away access to the symphonic experience. As I attempt to play along with the Glasgow Scottish Symphony (not recommended at home – play at your own risk), my somatic muscle memory led me to re-live those triumphal moments as a young violinist in the South Florida Youth Symphony. A ‘aha’ moment came to me as I realized that despite the many professional and recreational teams I have been on since then, it remains as the most amazing team experience I have ever being part of.  

  As I relate my experience as a member of the symphony, I saw the deep connection with key principles of leadership. Like a conductor, a great leader is a conduit to possibilities. He/she has a higher vision to create something amazing and unique with the incredible talents.  Like chocolatiers, the conductors aim to create the most perfect and unique blend of bitterness and sweetness, consistently, by cultivating the precise environment and treatment (“contextual construct”). Every ingredient works in unison to complement each other, creating a lasting memorable consumer experience.  

  As a member of the symphony, I understood that every beat, every crescendo, every vibrato that I created contributed to the richness of the audience’s experience. I also saw the interdependency (and the consequence) of my actions to the symphony as a whole. Each instrument is an enabler to one another; working together to build, layer, and create a holistic storyline together. My authenticity and autonomy were honored, as everyone was valued for their own uniqueness. I knew the role that I needed to play and when, whether as a soloist or carrier of the beat. Even though we each have a “blueprint”, it is how we collectively interpret each note that creates the unique experience for our audience. Each one of us knew how special and important what we do is to the whole and understood “the why”.  We all felt vast amount of joy and freedom as we co-create something amazing for our audience- using both our technical skills as well as our unique personal qualities.

  As I rested for sixteen measures, I didn’t just passively sit there. I counted my beats, I listened carefully to the juxtaposition of other players - so I know exactly when and how I can enter to minimize disruption and forward the momentum of what we are trying to create.  With the visibility and the acoustics of the performing stage, every note is heard and every stroke is seen. No two performances are exactly alike – even though we are all playing off of the same score of music. Thus, it’s important that we stay in the moment, listen to each other actively – and improv when it is needed (but always with each other and never alone). We recover from our mistakes quickly as our teammates give us cues to where to pick right up. Every measure is an opportunity to restart, to recreate.

  Our hearts soar as we perfectly created the climax and the jaw-dropping silence – together. We supported each other’s success, because that’s our success.  Our conductor, Marjorie Hahn, was both center stage and invisible at the same time. In our practice, she fiercely motivated us to perfect parts that are rusty. She helped us visualize the intent of the piece, the rationale behind the interpretation, so we are aligned and in-sync on the sentiment of the music. When we are on stage, our hearts are in it.  We are committed – to the performance and to each other. There is no turning back and no “hedging”.  The achievement and satisfaction came from the process as well as the outcome.  Putting together an entertaining program for our audience, an experience that takes them off of their seat, is every performer’s dream. Nevertheless, the most magical feeling is the string of infinitesimal moments where our breaths and hearts synchronize to each other and to the baton of the conductor. We want to make her, and each other, proud.   The anxious excitement coupled by the bursting joy we feel from accomplishing something amazing together is what fueled our hours of practice to get ready for our next performance. 

Application to leadership  

Like conductors, business leaders are faced with the task of orchestrating a diverse set of talent towards a vision. In today’s business context, that blueprint of success is even more vague, as it is constantly changing.  So how can organizations compete sustainably in such changing context? Leadership and Culture.  Commitment to the whole, social accountability, respecting unique paths, transparency, etc. are just some vehicles leaders can pay attention to as they create organization structure and context to tackle their unique challenges. 

It's all invented

“It’s all invented!” I still remember this joyful claim by a bushy-browed, enthusiastically passionate, transformer and conductor, Ben Zander. I had the privilege of meeting Ben and Rosamund last year. “It is precisely when we realize that everything in life, at work, is invented by us, we can be free to see the world from a place of possibility. ” Mr. Zander points out that how our reality is all created by our perceptions, assumptions, limiting thoughts, storylines that we tell ourselves.

 (c) MKMB Consulting 

Let’s face it, when there is more than one person in the workplace, there are bound to be differences in opinions. Many people come to the realization that the hardest part about work is rarely the “work” itself, rather, how to work with people to get the work done.

  The first rule in working with people is understanding that people are not machines. Despite all the efforts to suppress emotions at work, work is anything but impersonal. For many people, work is not just a paycheck, but also how we apply our skills to make the impact we want to see. We work to seek validation and affirmation. Our identity is associated with how much we are valued and how much our contributions are valued by other people. Underneath the agenda of “getting things done,” we seek to satisfy our basic intrinsic human needs of safety, security, connection, respect, acceptance, freedom, and creativity.

  Leaders that people want to follow are constantly tuning to these inner dynamics within the people they interact with. They understand that people have to be in a good place of being to be open to the doing.   They understand the dynamics but are not consumed by them.  They are grounded on who they are and are not flustered by the reactions of others; rather, they see these as opportunities to further learning and to strengthen relationships. They are self-aware and are able to self-manage throughout their interactions with others, so they can be available to step out of themselves to recognize the needs of others. 

  More often than not, we are under constant pressure to perform – to meet deadlines, resource constraints, and the demanding expectations of others and of our own – and we forget about the “people” in the “work” we do. We might be able to power through it in the short-term with a command-and-control style to put out fire, but in the long-run, we find ourselves at a standstill and wondering why people are not following and what we did wrong. Does this sound familiar? I’ve been there – we’ve all been there.

  We often prioritize the outcome of ”work” and alienate the process of how to get there. Our personal agenda and needs (fear of being judged, of failing, of not meeting expectations, etc.) drive us to myopically focus on the outcome and miss out on the opportunity to bring people with us along the way. This, in return, furthers more resistance and generates obstacles which impede the outcome we desire. 

  Here are some tips that might help. 

  Before an important interaction at work, take 15 minutes to go through the following. Make it a practice so it becomes a habit. These reflections and preparation exercises have been invaluable to me; I hope they will serve you as well. Let me know how it goes! 

  Before meeting, check with yourself:

  1. What are your assumptions walking into the conversation? Are they valid? Is everyone in the room grounded on the same assumptions?

  2. What are your insecurities/fears? Be honest with yourself and observe how they show up in the way you interact with others.

  3. What self-management techniques do you have in place in case your fears and insecurities are triggered?

  4. How do you want to show up to the conversation?

  During the meeting: 

1. Make a common connection early in the conversation. Agree on something, anything – the weather, the game last night, the food during lunch, etc. This will set the conversation up for the better. The best type of agreement is one that is genuine, one that really connects you and others on a personal, non-superficial level. Sharing a personal story is always a good start.

  2. Acknowledge the other person’s agenda. Assess where the person is at mentally and emotionally and what she or he needs in order to be at ”ease.” Perhaps a simple acknowledgement like “wow, things have been crazy where you are at” or “I know you’ve been waiting for my response for a while…” will ease any tension that is there.

  3. State your intent and agenda and help the person understand the ”why.” Where are you coming from and why is your inquiry important? What are the considerations and demands on your end? Helping people understand where you are coming from will help them understand the context and how to be most helpful.

  4. Seek partnership for common agenda. Given what you each hope to accomplish, how can you help each other get there? How are your agendas in alignment? What are the commonalities, rather than differences? How can you build on that commonality?

“I see that we both have a desire to do the right thing here and are aligned on xyz. How about taking that to the next level? Help me understand what needs to happen, so we can be at abc.”   

  5. Confront reactions and avoid judgment.  When emotions or resistance surface, avoidance only makes the problem worse. Call out what is happening with a neutral, observational tone. “I see that you have a lot of passion for this and perhaps are feeling like I am stepping on your toes.” Avoid judging or evaluating; they shut people down. Instead, work with the emotion that is there to align with the common agenda and outcome desired. “I can understand where you are coming from. The reality is that we need to be at xyz in two weeks. What can be done?”

  At the end of the meeting:

  1. Refocus on the common objectives/agenda

2. Summarize points of agreement

3. Express gratitude for partnership

4. Identify gaps and express confidence in closing them

5. Open opportunities for informal follow up

  When all else fails, finding the humor in the situation and the learning opportunity that is there will help you get through it. Yes, the “people” aspect of work is hard. It takes time. It takes a lot of understanding, compassion, and genuine intent to champion the process and reconstruct difficult relationships.

  The good news? There is so much personal growth coming out of it that the benefits trickle to other aspects of your life – your personal relationships, your partnerships, your parenting style, etc.

  I wish you peace, calmness, and kindness – for yourself and others – throughout this process.

 (c) MKMB Coaching 

All of our lives, we strive to do our best – being the best in class, landing the best job, getting the next promotion, and it goes on and on. We give it all to achieve the blueprint definition of ”success.”

This unitary focus continues as we progress throughout our 20s, 30s, and beyond – seeking praise, new titles, and the next promotion. The pattern is familiar and reinforcing. We compete with ourselves to squash challenges with flying colors. With each win, we prove to ourselves that we can handle anything thrown at us. With each challenge, we become a little more invincible. The adrenaline rocks our world. 

  As we get older, the sense of competition extends further to include competing with ourselves and those around us. Nothing gives us more satisfaction and fulfillment than being recognized as the best of the best. We are determined to hold a first-class ticket on the train to success – there is no turning back. As we journey along this path, we cater to the needs of others willingly. We go after what society defines as “success” and willingly compromise what is important to us to achieve it. We work hard – but never hard enough. We have conditioned ourselves to think that if we are not stressed, we are not doing all we can. We develop deep-seated hatred towards ourselves for being lazy when we take a deserved break.

  Time goes by quickly. Before we know it, we stand alone on this lonely train in pursuit of the promised land. Through all our achievements and proving ourselves to others, we forget to develop ourselves in other areas – to find what really matters to us.  Instead of seeing how a career can be a vehicle to realize what’s important to us, we let our career drive our lives. We forget we have choices – the higher up we get, the more baggage we carry with us. We think in terms of what we can lose versus what we can gain.  The journey, all of a sudden, becomes less satisfying.

  The mentality of getting the most we can out of any situation transcends business and begins to impact how we behave with others in our lives – our colleagues, friends, families, and loved ones. Despite the feeling of guilt and disgust, we continue down this path. Numbing our true desire and curbing our deep-seated questions, we march forth. There is never enough time (and money). We may fall behind, God forbid, if we let ourselves become complacent. We squeeze as much out of ourselves and our ”resources” (yes, that’s how we view our team) to meet deadlines. Our default response becomes, We just can’t help it! That’s the nature of the business we are in, and the expectation of our manager and our investors. We convince ourselves that we are left with no choices. We must continue to push and streamline to stay ”above expectation.” Competition is fierce – there is no other way. We become optimization machines – constantly fitting in as much as possible and solving for immediate gratification. If we don’t survive today, there is no tomorrow. We trap ourselves in these continuously escalating cycles to ”strive for excellence” – so we think. We must and we will win.

   “Just a few more years, and we will be free,” is what we tell ourselves. “I am so close to exiting in the millions – just hang on for a bit more.”

“I am so close to getting that promotion – just a few more months.”

  We hold back our own basic needs, seeing it as an act of  ”sacrifice” for the future.  Underneath it all, and even we don’t like to admit this, we kind of like being all ”booked up” – it means we are important! We even find opportunities to boast about it once in a while, but when others seem busier than us, we feel guilty. The constant stimulation around us distracts us from having to deal with the deeper questions in our lives. We know these questions are important, but we prefer to submerge them as they make us feel vulnerable, uneasy, and lost.

  This pattern continues until, one day, something big happens to us. Perhaps a health concern, an emotional meltdown, or a sudden event that turns our world upside. Questions and doubts begin to surface as all the working assumptions that we operate our life with become challenged. 

  What now? How do I make sense of what’s going on? What is the point? Why am I here? What am I doing?

  We blame others around us for putting us in the situations we are in. We blame ourselves for not being able to “figure it out,” for the time we have wasted, etc. 

  As we hang out with that vulnerability, our heart hangs and our tears run, we begin to see an opening. An opening that suggests that maybe it’s okay to be just the way we are. Maybe it is okay that we are attentive to our needs. Maybe our weaknesses are just labels used for comparison, and in fact, are our strengths when applied differently. Maybe allowing others to care for us is not a sign of dependence and weakness but an opportunity to connect and be grateful. Maybe we realize that we do have enough and that we are blessed with everything we have already accomplished. Maybe the question becomes ”how can I be helpful to others” versus ”how can I find that path that I am meant to be on.”

  Something else shifts once our attention is turned from the inside out. We become more available to signals and opportunities that the world presents us. Our range of possibilities expands from the confines of what we know. We become curious of the world outside of us – we see connections we have never noticed before. We become less buried in our own worries and insecurities and extend that energy and attention toward how we might be of service to others. We become more grounded with our existence in this world – the purpose we are supposed to fill with the talent and opportunities that we have been graciously given.

  We still slip here and there into the old comparison mindset and are challenged by incongruence of the world we used to know versus what we want to create. We sometimes feel isolated for being the one who chose a different path. Nevertheless, our sense of purpose brings us back to the ”why” – the reason behind our choice.  We regain our path with even stronger conviction to defend what is important to us. We laugh, feel, create, and express ourselves in the work we do. We are inspired. The same tasks, that once seemed mundane, when viewed through our ”why” become meaningful and purposeful. The same frustrations that once bothered us become opportunities for learning. We smile kindly to ourselves for how much we have grown. We apply our energy and positivity towards our work, except, this time around, it is not a vehicle for attaining resources; rather it is a vehicle to honor what we believe in and an opportunity see our passion come alive. Money follows – as we deliver the value we believe in. We are no longer enslaved by it. Money is neither good nor bad but an exchange for the value that we have created. Serendipitous opportunities present themselves in the most unexpected ways. We’ve learned that we can live within our means and appreciate the everyday luxuries – a fresh bouquet of flowers, a nice meal, and a sensational book – instead of the next asset we can acquire. As we shed all the clutter and excess in our life, we find lightness and clarity. We lead our life with intention and foresight. We are no longer lukewarm or lost – we are truly alive. 

  Even if it doesn’t seem like it – we all have choices.  We must intentionally find the time and space to allow ourselves to explore, to be curious, to meander, and to indulge – this is the only way we can find out what is important to us. Curiosity heightens awareness. Awareness opens up choices. Choices set us free.

 (c) MKMB Consulting 

Changes are happening at a faster pace than ever before. Whether they are opportunistic or reactionary, changes are never easy.  Traditional management practices are still necessary, but this new pace requires leaders to extend their inner leadership skills to successfully propel their people towards the next level.  This means that leaders need to develop awareness and build capabilities — starting with themselves.

  The preparation for this shift goes beyond an intellectual or strategic exercise. It requires deeply understanding oneself and others, as well as what is required from the situation. It requires leaders to have an inner lens focused on people’s motivations and fears, and they must also possess the emotional intelligence to connect and shape people’s motivations toward business objectives. 

  Whether it is hyper-growth, re-structuring, or re-branding, companies pivot strategies quickly; however, making the new strategy a reality has been very challenging.

  Fact: According to BCG, 90% of organizations went through a somewhat significant change in the past year, and yet 70% of organizational change efforts fail.

  For a desired change to stick permanently, it takes a deliberate design, keen awareness, and perseverance.  Beyond mapping vision to strategy, leaders need to seek deliberate alignment with their human capital. 

  Here are some questions that can serve as a guide: 

  What’s preventing you from leading with conviction?

Are people on-board with the new vision? Can they see what you see?

Are you effectively organized to maximize the desired behavior in the new operation?

Do your have the capabilities to thrive in this new environment? What type of people should you enlist and hire to help realize this new vision?

What do you need to do to help your people realize their strengths and build their commitment to the organization despite the uncertainties? 

  Two ingredients are absolutely necessary in a time of change: Passion and Connection. Here’s a video showing how a consultancy that is undergoing double digit growth sees the role of leaders in their business:    

photo source: chemistry.about.com

 (c) MKMB Consulting 

As I extend my work beyond high-tech companies and start-ups, I’ve noticed that agility and continuous innovation, the two secret sauce components of the industry, can benefit other industries significantly, helping them to reduce waste, pivot business strategy, and transform organizations.

This blog summarizes the larger context around planned experimentation, a key ingredient to successful innovations, where the outcome is viable, feasible, and sustainable in the marketplace. I’ll speak specifically to applications in specific industries in my future blogs.

Note: The perspective that I hold on innovations is one seen through the lens of leadership, culture, and people. Innovation is designed by the people and for the people (one thing that we cannot automate!). The various methodologies provide a useful framework; however, without creating an internal culture to cultivate the innovative spirit, true innovation cannot flourish. See Want to Innovate and Win? Design It into Your Culture ….

  Why are hypotheses driven experimentations important?  

  In today’s fast paced, competitive world:  

Customers’ needs are illusive

The new age customers don’t know what they want until they have it. Customers are no longer seeking out products and services; rather, their needs are anticipated and sometimes created by companies.  Thus, companies, more than ever before, need to continue to innovate and provide new offerings to capture their share of the wallet. If they don’t, they are at the mercy of their competitors and quickly become irrelevant.  Whoever thought smartphones, online food delivery, and car share services could be part of our daily life? These innovations quickly disrupt the way we do things and swiftly shift our behavior overnight.

Customers are finicky — In the past, customers might have tolerated things because there were not many alternatives or options. This is no longer true. The cost of switching is low and ”trying the next best thing” has become the norm. 

Customers are demanding — As the Internet levels the playing field of information transparency and symmetry, customers can very easily find alternatives if their experience is not up to their expectation. Competitors can easily replicate one another quickly, flattening the competitive advantage that one may have overnight. The first-to-market advantage is rarely sustainable, and monopolies are quickly crushed if incumbents do not continuously focus on creating new values for these illusive customers. This is true even in the nonprofit and social enterprise world, where the competitions may or may not be other entities, but rather scarce resources such as the customer’s time. 

  So how do you win the innovation game?

1. Deep customer-centricity

The basic, overarching needs of being human have not shifted. We all want to be part of a social system, being plugged in to what’s going on, being flattered, having freedom and independence, etc.  Understanding the underlying emotive needs of your customers and their motivations is the basis for innovation.

Continuing to ground your daily operation and product innovation on the fundamental truths of your customer is critical. 

Conducting ethnographical research at the natural habitats of your customers is a great way to develop this deep empathy — an intuitive understanding of your customers’ pain points, motivations, challenges, barriers, and aspirations will help with designing the product/service from their perspective (rather than one that is internal).

2. It’s a continuous learning process — speed and iteration is key

Given that there is no existing model in the marketplace, it would take a fortune teller to “get it right” the first time.  There are too many pieces that are unknown and hypotheses need to be tested. To successfully innovate, continuous iterations of testing and experimentation are needed to arrive at a high potential solution which is viable and feasible.  As customers are illusive, finicky, and demanding, this needs to be done with a speed that allows iterative learning in a short amount time. This process helps to reduce risks and costs as early in the innovation funnel as possible, making it an efficient model.

3. Create an engaged, empowered culture that fosters innovative spirit

It takes a special kind of leadership to not stomp on innovative thinking, even though sometimes the ability to take action may not be immediate (or happen at all).

Once innovation gets blocked, risk aversion sets in as the norm of the organization. People recoil to their protective space, and their potential is blocked.

For that reason, I truly believe that you cannot have true innovation without an empowered and engaged culture.

Wait, but …

I’ve found that the word “experimentation” conveys a sense of unpreparedness and sloppiness in organizations with a culture that focuses on operations excellence.  

o   How can we roll out half-baked solutions? How is it going to reflect on our brand?

o   We need to explicitly define the operation parameters and impact of this … what if our customers complain? What if our brand gets compromised?

o   Why are we spending all these resources on “experiments?” They distract us from our current work. We are not ready for it now.

o   We don’t have the right resources to execute this. This may be a longer-term plan.

While these concerns are natural, particularly with highly successful traditional business managers, they bring innovation to an abrupt stop.  

  It’s a commitment. Are you ready? 

It is true — innovation may not be at the top of the strategic agenda if your day-to-day operation is at risk. It takes active investment, and perhaps sometimes a leap of faith, to realize a vision that is tremendously different from the status quo.

However, when a business is viewed through a myopic lens of business optimization and risk mitigation, the spirit of innovation gets thrown out of the window.  It takes an active re-wiring of the business management mindset to see the duality of the two truths.

  How do you experiment?

An analogy to planned experiments comes to mind: Imagine a scientist who is looking for the next formula to cure cancer. The experimentation is structured and built on sound hypotheses and informed by data from secondary and primary research. The intermediary solutions are “tried on” by a small group of testers where observations and feedback are key factors in creating a refined solution. It is very similar in the business world when we want to create innovative new products. 

One important thing: If not carefully managed and designed, “experimentation” can be used as a crutch for carelessness.

Here are some key steps: 

  Here are some key steps: 

 1.    Determine the problem to solve. Make sure the problem is big enough and painful enough to innovate around. In other words, there is a real immediate value add to your end customers.  This can be backed by ethnographic research, market sizing exercises, and opportunity mapping.

2.     Pick a very tangible way to solve this problem – determine your Minimum Viable Product. While the solution may ladder up to a higher vision (i.e. ending poverty through building savings behavior), the scope of the “product” itself needs to be defined specifically and backed by customer insight (i.e. the biggest barrier to developing a savings habit is xyz, and our solution is specifically designed to address xyz). Narrow the scope and approach to something that is specific enough to create in under six months, while keeping a larger vision for the “final product vision” and keeping track of that on your roadmap. 3.     Form Hypotheses. Start with a set of hypotheses prioritized by how critical they are to your business assumptions. Start by listing all assumptions that you may be making about your customers and the marketplace as you envision your solution. Some of these can already be validated with secondary research.   4.     Test your Concepts. Fast prototype concepts that will help validate your key hypotheses, and test your assumptions with real customers. At this stage, you are really trying to get an indication of market demand for the way that you are intending to solve the problem, and you are gaining some initial user insights about how to solve them.    5.    Design UX/wireframe and Conduct Usability Testing: Before investing time to code particular features, you want to not only validate that there is significant value add (with concept testing + user insights), but also if the way you are adding the value is one that users want (and will not be confused by). High-level usability testing focused on the look and feel of the product, the major navigations, and the product-feature hierarchy can help.  Simply put: mock-up what you think the product should look like, hardcode/fake functionalities.  The wireframe will be a communication vehicle to your engineers. 6.     Focus on lean, seamless, prototyping. Focus on seamlessly solving that “slice” of the problem that will help validate your top hypotheses. Fast prototyping (alpha) with the intent to release for feedback within 3–6 months is the goal. *Note: this does not mean solving the problem sloppily. The aim is to solve a particular problem really well, so that your alpha feedback will be on the impact/efficacy of your offering, rather than on how clunky or problematic the execution is.      7.    Release alpha to limited users for feedback. I have seen alpha as small as only 50 users — it really depends on the complexity of the product and what you are looking to test. What’s really important for alpha is: a.     Finding a group of “advocates” or early adopters who are forgiving —because you know it will not be perfect. Cultivate this relationship actively throughout the year. Some people love being alpha users and offering their feedback. b.    Defining what specific questions you have for your alpha users upfront — and ladder up how these answers can help validate the key hypothesis. c.     Structuring the test so that your alpha users are using your product in their natural environment over a period of time if your product is a “continuous usage” product (versus a single transaction). d.    Gathering qualitative feedback as well as actual usage analytics. I found that interviews and focus groups often give you much deeper insights to why things work/don’t work — so rather than simply surfacing the symptoms, it points you to the cause. Instrument your product with tracking so that you can observe the actual usage and navigation. Sometimes what people remember or are able to articulate may be different from reality. 8.    Determine what your standard is for beta and general release. (i.e. We are going to continue to iterate until metrics xyz get to be abc. ) 9.    Quickly fix bugs, continue to iterate, release, and learn until the standards are met.  10.  Prepare to go to marketing (GTM)! There are lots of brand, legal, operations, and marketing considerations needed in order to prepare for a successful launch. This effort can take a minimum of 2–3 months — so while your tech/product team is focused on getting the product as good as it can get, start thinking about how you want to release, where and why, and what operation considerations needs to be in place to seamlessly roll out your product. 

Happy innovation! 

photo source: www.mind-mapping.co.uk 

 (c) MKMB Consulting 

Is it possible for organizations with a historical “track record” to innovate?  

I believe it is possible, but it takes a deliberate organization design effort and the significant consideration of human and systemic needs.  After all, innovation comes from people. If people’s needs and behaviors are not considered, organizations are doomed to fail in the innovation battle.

Consider this Case Study:

At Company A (masked to protect confidentiality), several of its flagship products are cash cows. Built on archaic code bases, ”innovation” for these products often comes from incremental features that are loosely integrated into the product experience. A basis point in pricing adjustment brings in millions of incremental revenue for these products. However, looking ahead to the future, Company A recognizes that in order to be successful (and viable), it needs to start investing heavily in SAAS offerings and reexamining how to satisfy their customers’ emerging need. With good intentions to “get ahead of the game,” management has formed SAAS teams in the organization to tackle this opportunity.

However, little did they know that these undercurrent dynamics were at play … 

Flagship software products shared resources with these new SAAS experiments; when resource trade-off conversations happened, it was very hard to make the case for allocating engineering time to a non-revenue generating product while the competitor is one that makes the company tens of millions of dollars a year.

Moreover, the new SAAS beta product is evaluated under the typical business management approach and evaluated against the company’s standard dashboard metrics. Product managers thus optimize development efforts to increase short-term outcomes that compromise long-term visions for the product. Successful product managers from the old cash cow businesses were poached to develop these new SAAS offerings, bringing useful learning as well as legacy understanding of “what won’t work” to solve new problems. Middle management of this “innovation team” is caught in the middle and left to deliver its quarterly revenue goals as well as on the new SAAS vision.

The new SAAS offering was aimed at solving a “slice” of the larger problem in a more innovative, sticky, and relevant way – incorporating a multi-platform usage trend of the users. However, the intent was quickly squashed with management getting involved in feature prioritization from the perspective of “parity” with existing cash cow products.

The culture of the organization can be characterized as amiable and consensus-driven. ”How” you get to your result is at least as important as ”what” you achieve. Team members hold back saying what they really think to avoid the pain of being evaluated against their peers. Even though the SAAS team adopts an agile product development method, it is not unusual for the meetings to have 6+ members, each offering and championing interests of their functional area. 

Finally, afraid of a competitive SAAS offering stealing its existing customers, management decides self-cannibalization is the way to minimize revenue impact. Therefore, they advocate the design of the product to “work within today’s constraints,” servicing both the needs of new customers as well as those of  existing customers, which are often at odds (speed versus comprehensiveness). 

Despite experienced engineers and good intentions, this heavy-handed, highly controlled, risk management approach led to 1.5–2 years to alpha release as opposed to the industry standard of  less than six months. Two of those months are tied up in the “Legal” department, where the corporate lawyers assess the risk exposure that the name of the product may bring to the company.  It was evident that the product released was a hodgepodge of misaligned interests.

The company eventually outsourced its design and prototype development to an external team to create breathing space and free it from the legacy that was constraining the innovation process. In addition, it set up an independent incubator with a longer evaluative time horizon. These changes eventually led to positive outcomes, but it was not without a lot of wasted time, resources spent, and opportunity costs.

Learning?

  1) Break down systemic, interpersonal, and intrapersonal barriers

I often see organizations that are “committed” to innovation but fail to follow through with the structural changes necessary to give it a chance. In Innovator’s Dilemma, Clay Christensen highlighted that in order for disruptive innovations to have a chance, leaders need to nurture them with dedicated resources, look at different ways to evaluate success, and separate the connectivity with their cash cow businesses.  In addition, organization and team dynamics will need to be considered as people often optimize to “stay safe” under complex organization dynamics.

2) Align business, product, and people strategies

Without alignment, optimization is happening at a very disjointed level. People are often confused about the ultimate goal of what they are trying to achieve. (“You want me to focus on agile testing of concepts, but I am evaluated by the number of defects in my work?”) Managers and leaders who are excellent at managing large, mature companies are often not the right leaders for innovation teams. Innovations will not thrive without the right leadership, evaluative context, and aligned vision.

3) Free innovation from a scarcity mindset

Creativity and innovation cannot be born without complete belief and freedom to explore ideas. When a scarcity mindset is applied, individuals become focused on protecting themselves and the status quo, teams become focused on validating managers rather than telling the hard truth, and organizations become fearful of making investments that will disturb the current ”success.” 

Other Tips?

  Create a safe space for exploration where failure is encouraged early and often, and fun (rather than fear) is part of the creation process. Affect and cognition studies have stated over and over that people are at their best (cognitively and in terms of creative problem solving, more gregarious, etc.) when they experience positive emotions.

Encourage finding connections inspired by adjacent industries or new paradigms. Take an observatory field trip with your team to explore how other industries solve similar problems. Bring in people with diverse cross-industry, cultural and functional experiences, then nurture the diversity in-house. Ex. If your team is stuck trying to solve an operations problem in manufacturing, observe the highly efficient airline service model — new insights are sure to come from it. 

Couch the feasibility and viability conversations after possibilities are explored. It’s true; ideas may not be feasible right now, but if the vision can be articulated and potential can be demonstrated, organizations can shape themselves towards that elevated end vision. It may not be “feasible” now, but small shifts can be put in motion with this vision in mind.

(c) MKMB Consulting 

Lately, I have found myself at an intersection of conversations highlighting women and equality. At the W50 conference, women HBS graduates from all decades, from their 20s to their 80s, gathered together with the intent to reflect on the progress of women in HBS’ history and to examine how the school can better cultivate and accelerate the leadership of more women in the world. Things have been shifting significantly in HBS over the last couple years, but the consensus was that it is not happening fast enough. The first few classes where women were admitted, there were no female bathrooms. Now, women are not only encouraged but are called out and have become the central focus for developmental attention. A lot of emphasis is being placed on this topic — across academia, pop culture, the corporate environment, etc. You can almost feel the breath of an exciting transformation that is beginning to take place. As artificial as it may “feel” with these articulated efforts, an intentional gesture is needed to challenge the existing paradigm. 

  A diverse range of perspectives were shared in these conversations. The questions spanned a wide range of topics, such as: Are women opting-out? Being pushed-out? Should women ”lean in” more? Which barriers are standing in the way — structural, systematic, societal, or personal?

  A melting pot of different perspectives were shared strongly by women and men alike (Dean Nohria called himself a ”feminist”). You could tell that these women had lots of hard experiences and bonds were created through our shared passion to alleviate the hardships we had each experienced. 

  My own perspective on this topic is that the conversation is more about ”Broadening out” — broadening how we see ourselves, how we creatively utilize our gifts as strengths, and how businesses define success in the global landscape. Yes, environmental factors are crucial in enabling or hindering progress and need to be carefully designed. I do think the first step is to look within ourselves as a means of challenging our own paradigms and definitions of ”what is,” in order to make progress in a productive way. This is a perspective that I’d like to hold as I explore this topic. 

  Here is what I’ve shared with Slalom Consulting’s WomenConnect Network:

The term ”gender diversity” still strikes me as a term coined to address an ”issue” like affirmative action. It conveys reactivity and adversity and supports the ”righting the wrong” argument.  I think the perspective that will most usefully serve us is one that comes from knowing what is unique about us — as the ”women’s” collective, as well as us as individuals — and focusing on how these strengths will serve to determine how to create more value for our society and the business world.

  Women tend to be great relationship builders and cultivators, nurturers of talents. We are aware of our strengths and appreciate those of others — we build on collected talent to achieve the common vision. We are tuned in to our environment and those around us — we know how strategies impact people and how to drive people’s motivations to help businesses accelerate their ”strategies” into realities. 

  My point of view on the “secret sauce” that America businesses can bring to the global economy is our ability to connect the dots between industries, boundaries, models, and create integrated solutions. It is that universal connectedness, the seizing of opportunities to creatively use resources and human capital that will nudge our society forward. It’s no longer an optimization, top-down, linear, zero sum game. Rather, it’s one characterized by humanity: connection, synthesis, relationships, integration, and creativity. These are the qualities that are highly indexed in women. 

  I believe the biggest value destruction in today’s businesses is their inability to transform collective potential into outcomes — lots of talent is simply wasted and/or under-utilized. This includes systemic, structural, societal, interpersonal, and intrapersonal barriers. Until we actively address these barriers with intention, we’ll be stuck in the existing constraints of our ”organizations.”

  Women are the ”midwives” in this process in our environments (I know this sounds strange but think of it metaphorically). We need to be addressing this journey not under the title of ”women equality,” but rather “business/global competitiveness.” Our “social IQ,” that keen awareness of ourselves and those around us, our ability to provide contextual clarity, our flexibility and adaptability regarding new information, etc., are all assets that are under-excavated by the business world. To start the shift, we need to believe that there is value in the ”wholeness” of us — our analytical, organizational, and operational strengths, as well as our awareness, sensitivity, and flexibility. We need to be mindful of self-management — knowing how to channel these strengths towards productive outcomes, rather than using them as excuses to opt-out (otherwise, we will be  perceived as whiners). 

  In “Gen Y women will close the gap,” an interesting article from Warren Buffet, he highlighted: "Women diversity is about self-interest. Fully utilizing the talents of our workforce contributes to our global competitiveness." 

Here’s a final thought: The tricky part of this whole thing is that women will not be able to successfully tap into their own gifts until they divorce themselves from the same barriers that they are trying to disrupt. It’s the chicken and the egg — it takes some brave women (and men) to spearhead this change. 

Are we ready for this? 

     (c) MKMB Consulting 

Creativity and innovation are hot topics for businesses these days.  Whether if it is new products, new business models, or customer insights – businesses today need to reinvent constantly to stay above competitions. If you blink, you lose. Your businesses can become irrelevant before you know it. Disruptive players are in the marketplace and are leap-frogging incumbents in all industries. Changes are eminent and happening at an accelerated rate, often too fast for comfort. 

There is no question that the need to innovate is urgent. Lots of companies are spending a lot of money chasing after easy routes to ‘innovation’ — acquiring start-ups and talent and institutionalizing methodologies for innovation — but the end result often leaves much to be desired. 

A series of HBR articles recently stated that 70–90% of new strategies and M&A fail. So much value is destroyed; so much talent is wasted. Why does this happen? My experience at large companies, small start-ups, and everything in between, has taught me that the key is not whether or not the strategy is valid, nor if there are talents in the organization, it lies within the organization’s ability to execute during a time of change. 

  In 2009, Yahoo had all the talent needed but failed miserably as an organization in terms of utilizing that talent. They had gaps when embracing the speed of change and the importance of adaptability; they also struggled with integration and alignment.

  Success happens when you continue to assess where you are and adapt and learn, so that your people are willing to swim with you through a time of continuous change. 

  It is about leaders embracing and inviting change as an opportunity rather than as a threat, viewing it with courage rather than fear, and with openness rather than control.

  It is about the attitude of your organization and its willingness to collectively and continuously be open to new information; a willingness to disrupt itself for higher learning and improvements. It is also about looking at your business — not just the balance sheets and income statements (although they are important!). But looking at it as a living organism that grows, learns, creates value for its customers, and reaps the financial benefits as a result. 

This requires the deepest level of integration and synchronism between your business, your product/service, and your people strategy — i.e. viewing them as a system rather than parts.

It also requires deep empathy for your people, customers, and stakeholders, as well as a pursuit of honest, open communication channels (both formal and informal) across all levels of organization in order to surface information. It is about cultivating a culture of learning, inspiration, and playfulness!

Ultimately, it is about leading with your mind and your heart — and tuning into the importance of people and finding ways to tap into their talents.  

A Surfer Culture

An analogy of surfboarding comes to mind. With the desire to catch the big waves, the surfer creates and catches opportunities — the stronger the wave, the higher the adrenaline, and the higher the ability to weather the unexpected.  A surfer charges forward without fear, gets up after falling, and knows himself/herself and the environment well enough to experiment.

A Dam Culture 

The opposite analogy is a water dam — where a massive fortress is built to contain the water and systematically dispense it. This is the Input and Output model. The approach is planned, the outcome is controlled, and the process is managed to precision.

  Change starts from is about strategic visioning versus planning. It ends in business transformation versus management. 

  I don’t want to discount the fact that business planning is important for long-term viability. I came from a background of quantitative analysis and know the importance and power of data, financial statements, control and accountability —but these are no longer enough if you want to leap.

  The next time, instead of theorizing the strategy of what  to do with traditional business planning methods — you name it — Market sizing, Competitive analysis, SWOT, Porter’s Five Forces, Balanced Scorecards, Activity Matrix Mapping, etc. —try to incorporate the “how” and the “being” into your strategy.

  Build an organizational culture and system (your own and one for your organization) for learning, adaptability, integration, resilience, and capability building, all anchored by a higher vision and purpose.  Help your people see the “why” linkage. When things get rough, new opportunities arise; your biggest employee retention plan comes from the connection your employees feel with you and the organization. Inspire, empathize, and connect.

  One final thought: Just as chasing “happiness” does not make it come any faster, chasing innovation and creativity does not make a leader more innovative or creative. Innovation and creativity come from enabling the ”being” in your organization — giving people the permission to seek inspiration, to seize, try, and perhaps fail — and having fun!

  It is the process that yields the end result.

(c) MKMB Consulting 

A Dharma talk at the San Francisco Zen Center today inspired me greatly — the essence is about when faced with incredibly difficult decisions, where neither choice A or B are popular or obvious, how does one go about making such a decision and garnering support from others? 

  For leaders, these decisions could involve choosing between the viability of their company and laying off their workers, or choosing a strategic direction that their people do not embrace nor are prepared for.  For Abraham Lincoln, it was about choosing between the abolition of slavery and the extension of the civil war — a very difficult decision that impacted the lives and freedom of millions, then and now. (Imagine the pressure!) 

  THE INCREASING SPEED OF CHANGE IS DEMANDING QUICKER DECISIONS

More than ever, leaders today are prompted to make more decisions faster than ever before. The speed of change, empowered by technology and market dynamics, can get to the best of us. Leaders are pinned to the corner deciding between the two extremes: a reactionary response to new information or staying on course according to their strategic plan. Balancing this duality while instilling confidence in their people puts leaders between a rock and a hard place. 

So how do leaders maintain their own strategic vision, make decisions, act with courage, tenacity and drive, AND bring their people along with them in difficult times?

  To me, it boils down to one simple principle:  Embracing these dualities with DEEP EMPATHY.

  These leaders are grounded by their vision and business fundamentals; they lead with courage, tenacity, and a sense of urgency.  However, they do not enter any situation with a “black or white” analysis. They have compassionate and empathetic ears to listen to and understand the perspectives from their people (note: this does not mean they agree with them!).

  These leaders can truly empathize with their people from their deepest core. They treat them with an attitude of service, just as they would with their customers.  These leaders are confident and comfortable with themselves, and they do not see opposing opinions as threats. They know how to balance between advocacy and inquiry and to let all aspects of themselves show up at their work – their intellect, boldness, openness, and vulnerability – all at the same time.

  They lead with integrity, balancing wisdom (the mind) and compassion (the heart).  It’s not the “touchy feely” kind of compassion that many may derive from the word “compassion.” It’s about the deepest desire to understand where another person is coming from. This is no different from the customer-centricity that many organizations preach. Through the process of practicing wisdom and compassion, you build trust with your employees.

  WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO BRING YOUR PEOPLE ALONG?

Your employees are like your customers — they choose to invest their time in your company’s mission. Sure, some may be there to collect a paycheck or a job title. But if you assume this point of view, you are bound to miss out on realizing the potential of your people.  The result? A static, passive culture that will eventually lead to obsoleteness, in-fighting, and organizational failure.  

The best employees are the ones that invest with their mind and heart. With that level of engagement and commitment, your employees are no longer clocking in and out or looking for ways to “take advantage” of the systems. They are your advocates. They believe. They spend their own time and energy on their nights and weekends to meet deadlines or thinking about how to improve the company with what they can do. They chip in their own personal funds to help out other employees or the company. They become proactive problem solvers. They are personally invested in your journey. 

  SO WHY DOES IT MATTER NOW?

  The old “efficient economy” is transforming into a “human potential” economy, where innovation and creativity are imperatives to competitive advantage and business success. While efficiency, operation excellence, consistency, and return on investment remain important, they are no longer enough. With rapid change in market dynamics, before you are able to “measure” the market share decline (a lagging indicator) and adjust the way you do things, your products  will already be obsolete, and your competitors will already have established a better way to solve your customers needs.

  Leaders! You no longer have lead-time to redesign your system and rules for your operations.  You need your people, your frontline soldiers, to creatively solve problems on the spot as changes are happening.  Disengaged, “do what they are told”, “9-to-5“ employees are not going to do that. 

Leaders can pay lip service to this as much as they want — to impose ownership on their employees as a means to surface insight, inquiries, and suggestions. It is not going to work unless they have complete trust in their leaders and know that their perspectives matter! The personal costs (keeping their job, not stirring up the water to keep relationship, etc.) are way too high for one to take a risk without complete trust.

The #1 reason for job departures is one’s relationship with their manager and leaders. When you probe further, it is usually not about the business decisions themselves. It is truly about not feeling that they are valued, seen, heard, and understood by their managers. When people are not feeling this way, they either become disengaged or disruptive. 

The results? Intense organizational and interpersonal frictions, built up toxicity, and sabotaging behaviors.  This is in addition to legal costs, time and energy, and opportunity costs related to disengagement.

  WHAT IS AN EASY, AND YET DIFFICULT, WAY TO ACHIEVE THIS OUTCOME?

Leaders, it is simply about shifting your intention from ”me” to ”us” when you forge organizational decisions and change.  It’s not easy — you are under great pressure to deliver business results and make the right decisions, and that sense of urgency and accountability directs us to advocate and act. However, you cannot steer the entire boat by yourself! Imagine a captain shouting out orders to an empty ship.

The subtle difference here revolves around the mindset and attitude with which you approach your employees.  Showing up to a lay-off announcement with a “business” lens and using numbers and figures to illustrate why it is a necessary business decision, is very different from showing up with an “empathetic” lens, which involves acknowledging the great work your people have done and communicating the different talent needs that the market demands.  With the “empathetic” lens, you accomplish the same business outcome while preserving a sense of trust in the organization.

Once this trust is established and reinforced, leaders will have significant runway and understanding (and sometimes forgiveness) from their people to act with courage and decisiveness while translating their wisdom and strategic vision to achieve long-term results. 

(c) MKMB Coaching 

A great leader

 … always looks upward and calls his or her people to a higher road to help them pursue a purpose greater than themselves.

… listens carefully to those both inside and outside his or her immediate circle or sphere of influence — even to those who do not agree with him or her.

… exhibits these three virtues during periods of change and transformation: Listening Intently, Being Present, and Modeling Authenticity.

… has faith in his or her vision — and acts with resilience and commitment.

… has the ability to experience negative emotions without failing during the most critical times.

… maintains a composure of professionalism while also maintaining his or her vision and integrity amidst uncertainties and challenges

… has the ability and agility to shift gears during hard times — without sacrificing the ultimate goals or compromising his or her vision.

… is a slow, deliberate thinker — examining an issue from all sides before acting and reacting.

… does not lead behind a closed door.

… believes his or her foremost responsibility is to serve the people. 

  Inspired by Lincoln’s School of Management (NY Times, Jan 27th, 2013)

(c) MKMB Consulting 

Do you know what your company’s values are? Are they consistently being honored? Here is a test: Randomly ask five people in your organization, “What’s important about being a [company name] employee?” See if you get consistent answers.

The word ”values” tends to be a loaded word and means different things to different people. Values do not hang on walls or reside in impressive looking PowerPoint slides; rather, they are the company’s identity and are manifested through a set of guiding principles that are shared and felt by its people. Just as ”strategy” is attained through consistent actions toward a vision, ”values” are realized only by consistent day-to-day actions, interactions, and decision-making.

Why is it so important to codify your values?

Although most leaders would say corporate values are important to them, only a few make it a priority to deliberately define and defend them.  The truth is, even if values are not actively addressed, they are organically formed by the habits and decisions of the people in the organization. They are results of behaviors that are rewarded, tolerated, and penalized every day. Without active reinforcement, however, these decisions can be ad hoc, dependent upon individuals, and a major cause of confusion and friction in an organization. They evoke counter-productive political behaviors, strategic maneuvering, and the promotion of individualism versus the effort of the team.

Value statements and operating principles are important as they guide people to behave and to make decisions that are aligned to an organization’s vision. They are the soft tissue that holds together the skeleton of the company, and the matter that provides flexibility, fluidity, and resilience in times of movement and change. They are universal and remain consistently true — even if the company changes its strategic direction.  They are the X factors that differentiate an organization from its competitors (ex. Southwest, Zappo’s, etc.). They are the reason why people want to work for an organization. They are the identity, source of pride, and invincible force that unites people. They are an organization’s soul.

Strong and consistent values can not only rally troops in times of uncertainty but also reduce the tight control that management often feels it needs in order to ensure consistency. They are critical ingredients for empowering employees to take leadership without paternalistic oversight. An organization’s values guide it to deliver consistent experiences and to help its employees march in alignment.

Lastly, but most importantly, a company’s values define its brand. They are reinforced through the way products and services are delivered and marketed as well as reflected internally by the type of people hired and the way resources are allocated.

Leaders: It starts with you!

An organization’s values begin with the leader. A leader’s personal values are transmitted to operating mechanics and role modeled by the people across the organization. 

“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple, and it is also that difficult. First and foremost, find out what it is you are about, and be that” — Warren Bennis. This is one of my favorite quotes on leadership. It conveys the importance of how a leader honors his or her values as this has a significant impact in how he or she leads an organization. 

Here are some simple questions to ponder:

What are your personal values as a leader?

How are these values showing up in the culture of your organization? 

How are they represented in your leadership team?

How are they reflected in your people?

What do you do every day to honor these values?

How are these values showing up in the day-to-day aspects of your organization? 

What will you do if these values are not honored or adhered to? 

Photo source

(c) MKMB Coaching

  Kim is an engineering director at a large technology company and a mother of two.  At work, she is a direct, result-oriented worker bee.  At home, she is a mom to a 6-year old and a 4-year old. As a wife, she fills a supporting role for her husband’s career as a high-powered attorney. Kim adapts naturally to the expectations of these various roles; as she describes it, ”it feels like it’s the right thing to do.” From an outsider’s perspective, Kim has it all covered. From the inside, Kim is lost, emotionally spent, and has become a stranger to even herself.  What’s going on?

Kim is on the defensive – all the time – so she can be the person that everyone else expects her to be. Growing up, her creative nature was overshadowed by her abilities in math and science. Being a top individual performer early in her career, she stumbled into a management role even though she much preferred coding over managing project timelines, overseeing people, and navigating through business politics. She wanted to ”do the right thing” by starting a family while she was young. Even though Kim is entrepreneurial and free-spirited, stability became her objective in life with the arrival of the kids. Kim admits she feels fortunate with everything she has — a beautiful family and a great job. Internally, though, she feels disconnected from the true nature of herself, and the feeling of incongruence grows stronger and stronger every day. Kim feels increasingly guilty and scared when she ponders the idea of giving it all up, so she can find who she truly is outside the castle and façade she has built.

The ability to adapt to change and to find a way to overcome any circumstance we find ourselves in is a true asset. Adaptability is a great survival trait. In any environment, we are quick to discern the norms and play our cards accordingly to maximize our personal outcome. We get into our combat mode with zeal and eagerness – ready to flatten any hill before us. The adrenaline from conquering obstacles fuels us in times of great need. Each incremental success gives us a little boost of confidence in our ability to do new things without fear.

Some of us are experts at transforming ourselves to fit any situation; in Kim’s example, the executive mom juggling being the commander-in-chief at work and the chief operating officer at home. To simplify things, we choose to compartmentalize aspects of ourselves in various roles we play in life, just as Kim has done in her role as a manager, a wife, and a mom. The danger is that, more often than not, this chameleon approach can be very tiring and, eventually, unsustainable as we expend way too much energy holding ourselves back from our natural tendencies.

What is your true habitat?

We are rarely taught in school (or in life) to find our true habitat, to be ourselves, and to leverage our strength. Instead, we spend the majority of our energy trying to “fall in line” by sharing the same path as our neighbors, modeling ourselves after someone who is successful, and improving upon our weaknesses. As a result, we all end up walking down the same path - the path of emptiness, exhaustion, and fear (of losing it all).  

There is an alternate path, a way of life characterized by finding our true habitat, giving ourselves the freedom to be ”us,” and trusting our abilities to create our own way.  It is with this strong core, this inner compass, that we can uncover the quiet confidence to conquer anything in life, the tender vulnerability to be receptive to learning from others, and the compassion and patience to accept and believe in ourselves, even in difficult times.

Here are some ways to start tuning in to your natural habitat:

  Checking in with your gut, as well as your mind. We are masters at rationalizing decisions, particularly decisions that are deemed by the majority as ”obvious.” When making an important decision, whether it is a job transition, a relocation, or a life decision — check in with yourself: “Is this in alignment with me?” Life is too short to waste on things that are not.

Checking in with your intentions, as well as your reactions. Our reaction to things offers a lot of information about who we are, what we want, and our innate desires; therefore, it is important to pay attention to these reactions. Check in with yourself: “What tension/friction do you feel? Why? What information do these feelings offer?” In addition, our intention can help us connect more deeply to our inner desires. Ask yourself: “What’s my intention in doing this? Why is it important to me?”

Checking in with both your current self and your higher self. To reach the delicate balance between pragmatism and idealism in life, ask yourself two questions: “Is what I am doing supportive of my current responsibilities and that of my commitment to my higher self?”  Sometimes, we pigeonhole ourselves when deciding between black or white, positioning decision as a simple dichotomy rather than an array of complementary options. As a result, we sometimes feel that we are selling our souls to the devil. There is comfort in finding the commonality in the black and white — perhaps shades of grey that encompass that of both. In other words: “How can our current self and decisions support the mission of our higher mission?”  

Be your authentic self. Fly, soar, swim, and glide in your natural habitat! I wish you the best in your journey. 

(c) MKMB Coaching

Balance is highly sought after but hard to achieve in today’s fast paced life. Everyone has their own way of defining ”balance.” To me, balance is not about finding the bandwidth to do everything, rather it is about finding the equilibrium where things we choose to expend our time, resources, and energy ladder up to what’s important to us.  It is the continuous, fluid process of refueling our needs in each important area of our life – whether it is financial, physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, or relational. There might be times in our lives where our focus may be on a few of these dimensions; however, it’s important that we do not continue to starve the others, as many of us know, unmet needs do surface in unexpected ways!

Here are some simple ways to help bring balance to our lives: 

1) Visualizing the end state helps make it real.

Just as athletes visualize the moment of crossing the finish line as part of daily training, tuning in to what success looks like for us is really important. This helps us realize that it can be real and is within our control.

This goes beyond detailing the ”things” that we do. It is about a way of being. It is about capturing the visceral feeling when we see our best self achieving that balance. 

What is in the quality of that moment? How do you feel?  What’s the energy in the air?  We may have to think back to moments in our past when we felt that way in order to help us paint the picture. 

Take an emotive journey to that state of balance, capture it as vividly as you can, and find a cue that can take you there easily when you need it – whether it is a photo, a quote, a charm, a smell, etc. 

Every day, practice visualizing this state of balance as if you are in the midst of that moment. This will trick your mind and body into fulfilling that expectation.

2) Reframe from a place of strength and purpose.

Too often, we start with a negative positioning of things we wish we had done better or more of. This negative positioning accentuates the guilt that we have and is counterproductive. Start from a place of strength and purpose:

Instead of:   “I should spend more time with my family.”

try:            “I am a caring father and husband. Spending more time with my family brings me joy. I will make spending quality time with my family a focus by being home for dinner every night.”

Instead of:  “I should pay more attention to my health.”

try:            “I am a disciplined, driven person. Paying attention to my health is important to me because I want to be able to keep up with my children when they grow up.  I will make health a priority this year by running twice a week.”

Instead of:             “I should devote more time to my personal life.”

try:              “I am a curious and loving person.   Devoting more time to my personal life is important to me because I want to share my life experiences with someone. I will spend more time on my personal life this year by being open to invitations to new experiences.” 

I am ______________.

<Things I want more> are important to me because ____________.  I will make <things I want more> a priority by _____________.

3)  Guide your intention with simple guiding principles

Our brain gravitates towards finding shortcuts when we make decisions. We often fall away from our best intention because the decision making process to stick to it is too complicated. Therefore, many of us fall into the pitfall of defaulting to addressing what’s crying for our attention most at any particular in time.

  Summarize your intention to guiding principles, and using these to guide your decision-making process. Every week, check back with these principles and see if your actions have lined up with your intentions. These should be high-level enough that they reflect your priorities and boundaries. 

For example: 

I will focus on the quality of time with my family and be there 100% emotionally, not just physically.

I will choose to be physically and emotionally healthy, especially in stressful times, so that I can be there for people who need me.

I will devote my Sunday mornings to spiritual and personal development practices.

If we make our decisions according to these guiding principles, we will feel more aligned and grounded as less emotional energy will be spent on deliberating and agonizing over decisions! 

(c) MKMB Coaching 

Jolin, 35, a management consultant, is on the verge of a breakdown. Being a minority woman, she’s worked really hard all her life to be accepted and to “prove others wrong.” Jolin’s smart, driven, and has a huge desire to leave an imprint on this world. In her 20s, her world evolved around her professional aspirations. She aspired to be a female executive in a large corporation — commanding the troops to tackle the world. She quickly rose up the ranks and when she set a goal, there was no likelihood that she would not accomplish it. She knows that she’s good at what she does and feels tremendously accountable for her work and the flawless image she has worked so hard to maintain. This has meant working during her vacation, answering emails and calls at midnight from her boss, and obsessing over the weekends about how people might perceive the emails she sent Friday evenings. She leaves little time and energy for other things in life. She craves the next recognition, promotion, and expression of praise from the partners of her firm and is willing to do anything to show everyone what she is made of.  Her long-term boyfriend, at the time, noted how she had changed since when they first met and asked her to have more balance in her life — she did not want to hear it and broke up with him. She did not want any distractions keeping her from reaching her goal. 

Recently, Jolin was passed over for a promotion to become partner in her firm, a position she was certain that was hers.  The next opportunity would be in five years. She was devastated. Her world was turned upside down — what had been important to her all of sudden became hazy and uncertain.

Her world has been shaken. One minute she is angry and resentful for what the firm has done to her — “They don’t know how to appreciate women leaders in this company anyway. I should just leave.”   The next moment, she is in tears, questioning her self-identity and doubting her abilities — “What is wrong with you? Are you losing it?”  The inner dialogues continued as her work deteriorated. Her emotional energy was spent on noticing her insufficiencies, as compared with her peer who was promoted, and talking down to herself for not doing better. Jolin woke up one day, panicking as she asked herself:  “What am I doing? Who am I?” She suddenly felt the deepest black hole of emptiness in her life.

I am sure this story is recognizable by many.

When was the last time you looked inwards? What did you see?

It’s so easy in today’s world to continue occupying ourselves with the “doing,” checking off things on our lists — the next promotion, the next vacation destination, the next car, house, etc.  In some ways, it is the easy thing to do.  When things are in motion, there is no reason to not keep going — particularly when we are so destination focused.

Her world has been shaken. One minute she is angry and resentful for what the firm has done to her- “They don’t know how to appreciate women leaders in this company anyways. I should just leave.”   The next moment, she is in tears, questioning her self-identity and doubting her abilities. “What is wrong with you, are you loosing it?”  The inner dialogues continued as her work deteriorates. Her emotional energy was spent on noticing her insufficiencies compared with her peer who was prompted, and talking herself down for not doing better. Jolin woke up one day, panicking as she asks herself:  “What am I doing? Who am I?” She suddenly feels the deepest black hole of emptiness in her life.

 I am sure this story is recognizable by many.

  When was the last time you look inwards? What did you see?

It’s so easy in today’s world to continue occupying ourselves with the “doing”, checking off things on our lists—the next promotion, the next vacation destination, the next car, house, etc.  In some ways, it is the easy thing to do.  When things are in motion, there is no reason to not keep going. Particularly when we are so destination focused.

Shifting gears is hard ("What if I fall behind?"). Opening the hood to examine the engine is even harder — especially when there is nothing “wrong” with how things are now.  Deep down, we know the toxicity is building, something is not quite right, but it’s too scary to explore the infinite possibilities. Instead, we focus on getting the next great model that everyone wants, because the last one just was not a good “fit.”  We polish the exterior every day, so it looks slick and shiny to the passersby. We live for that “wow, I’d love to have that car” look from spectators. When the level of toxicity hits a certain point, we engage in a fight or flight reaction to change our environment — our job, our spouse/significant other, etc. — the last thing we turn to is looking within.  

The truth is, we will never feel “quite right” in any Lamborghini if we do not know the driver. That’s right, that’s Us.

The insecurity, guilt, and lack of control, followed by stress, anxiety and regret, are byproducts of dissonance in oneself.  To put it another way, the discomfort we feel comes from not knowing who we are inside and out. We are disconnected, from our body, our mind, our heart. We attribute faults to others, to protect ourselves from vulnerability and to avoid being seen.  We regret things we did not do, are going to do, and everything in between. We mask the voices with even more work, more distractions, more substance — we will do anything to not have to deal with it. 

Don’t we all want to be freed of all these and be happy? The happiness industry is a billion dollar industry. Everywhere you look, there are people who are trying to sell you a way  to be happy. But what is the statistical breakdown of significant variables related to happy people, what they do, what they don’t do, etc.? (Did you know having a flat screen in your bedroom will decrease your happiness by 19.1%?)

The truth is, happiness is not a correlation game. It is not a “get directly at it” game. In my personal experience, happiness is simply the continual process of getting to know yourself and committing to upholding integrity to that self with everyday decisions. It is about seeking INWARDS for answers.

It is only through the deepest awareness of who you are – your desires, strengths, values, your core and essence – can you align your life to that vision — AND BE HAPPY. By living from that vision, you live from a place of purpose and meaning; you live from your Best Self.  The sense of a universal knowing of oneself is freeing; it puts control back in your hands about how you want to live your life.

So if knowing yourself is the only thing  necessary to be happy, why are we all so unhappy?

Self-awareness and personal intelligence is a process – it takes time, energy, commitment, and courage. You need the courage to be honest with yourself and be open to the possibility that the world you have worked so hard to build may change when you see what’s inside yourself.  It takes a serious commitment and willingness to challenge your own beliefs and ways of looking at things. To change a system, you have to be willing to step out of the system, so you can see things objectively.  This is true for any system, whether it is yourself, your relationship, a team of people, etc.  And it’s harder when you are vested and personally involved. 

There are many ways to develop this mindfulness and self-knowing. Meditation is one of the tools that will help take you outside of yourself, so you can “watch” objectively — simply noticing yourself as an entity without judgment.  Over time, through this process, the learning curve for seeing things objectively will be shortened and become an automatic way of life; so that the next time you engage in self-sabotaging conversations, you can step out and consult yourself. The reactive tendency might always be there, but the recovery will shorten.

Enlist a support group, a coach, or a significant other as part of your journey.  Our human instinct is to follow the herd — to reduce the potential danger of being different or alone.  Having a support system as you navigate through this journey will reduce that sense of danger and help you accelerate your learning.

What happens when you live from your Best Self?

Your relationship with the world will change once you start living from a place of Best Self.  Perhaps, nothing will need to change in your life in order to stay aligned; it is how you live your life that matters. Perhaps, major changes are now needed to stay true to your Best Self. It will likely be a combination of the two.

When we connect with ourselves, we start taking responsibility for our role in circumstances we find ourselves in. We start being more aware of others, their needs, and the impact of our own footprint on others. We become better leaders, employees, and partners. We lead with the self-awareness of our own strengths and weaknesses, and we see the potential in others. We approach work from the perspective of “How can I be of service?” rather than “Why am I not getting things I want?” We become comfortable while standing still in the midst of uncertainties and observe the infinite possibilities in making the best out of present moments versus engaging in the vicious cycles of fight and flight. We let our life define our work rather than letting our work define our life.

Some of the best advice comes from the wise teachings of Socrates and the ancient Greeks, “Know Thyself.”  The key to unveiling your own happiness is through knowing yourself.

(c) MKMB Coaching 

Jane is hardworking and smart. In her early career, she has defined herself with an image of “the lean, mean, results machine” — despite the tightness of a timeline, she always gets things done — even if it means pulling all nighters. She is proud of her work and has made it the center of her life. 

With this heavy investment, she has always been able to shape and control the outcome of her work. She is a stickler for perfection and expects that of others. It is how she was taught and how she has been successful to date. From a prestigious business school, she carries with her the expectation of “standard,” which is expected of its graduates, and acts in a way that helps reinforce that image.   Jane is on her way to being promoted — she sees herself as the obvious candidate for the VP position. There is no one else who is more dedicated, results-oriented, and invested than she is. 

With each professional accomplishment, she feels validated and confident — most of all, it soothes the uneasy feeling that has been surfacing and has been actively ignored.

Jane feels pretty good about the respect that she has garnered and the affirmation she receives from others.  Being “better” than others fills the void she feels deep inside.  She disregards any obstacles in her way in order to drive more business results. She likes that others think she is smart and that they defer to her opinions and decisions — which are often enthusiastically advocated.

She often feels like she should be getting more — more pay, a better title, a bigger bonus, and more raises. She grasps  opportunities to gain more. A recent colleague’s promotion threatened her — even though it was a position in a different functional area. She is able to do a lot with her current financial situation — eating out whenever she wants, traveling to exotic locations, even paying a hefty mortgage for a luxury condo. With each raise, she craves the next one even more.

On the surface, she comes across very confident and self-assured.  Underneath, Jane is grasping and clinging to that “perfect image” from moment to moment, and reacts strongly to anything that may compromise it.

“What if I don’t have this? Who am I?”  I will have nothing!

“What if I am seen as a fraud?”  I must squelch all doubts!

“How does my life/career/pay compare to others? What if it is not enough?” I must do more!

…. These are the inner dialogues she has with herself in quiet moments.

The truth is, there is part of Jane (or Jack) in each one of us.

We live in the mindset of scarcity. We evaluate situations, people, and things from a self-centric perspective. (“What is in it for me? How is this going to help or hurt me?”) And we focus on protecting our weaknesses (so that others will not know them, and we will not be hurt by them). This behavior and mindset can be traced to the caveman days. It is human nature and has protected us over thousands of years. However, as we develop cognitively and emotively, this stands in the way of our ability to find happiness and harmony. When we operate from this mindset, our actions are driven by the motivation to reduce immediate or projected anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. “How can I be better positioned? Be seen as competent? Protect my image?” This type of questioning drives what we do. 

As we continue to hang on to what we have and grasp for the things we desire, we develop an “image of self,” which is not necessarily who we are but how we want others to see us. We act incrementally to preserve this image we have built, so we can be seen as “consistent” (and not fraudulent).  With each action, this “image of self” gets thicker and thicker, ‘til one day we become strangers to ourselves. We no longer know who we really are, what we really want, and what would make us feel whole again.

We hear this story over and over from people who live their lives out of integrity for way too long. Whether upon our deathbeds or after a life changing experience, the question of “Who am I?” comes up, prompting us to search for answers and peel back the layers of that “image of self” that no longer serves us. When we do that, we might feel quite uncomfortable and uneasy at first about this new self.

We may slowly embrace the newly aligned self — inside and out — and take further actions to uphold this integrity in our lives. We may leave people who no longer serve us or remind us of our old selves, or leave an unfulfilled job that we have been selling our souls to. It will be scary, but not the type of fear that makes you want to coil up, but the type that is expansive and liberating, like what a cliff jumper feels.   

We begin to see ourselves grow curious of not only who we are but others around us. We lean in more toward others with a curiosity to understand; we learn from our experiences and see the positives of situations and of ourselves. We start approaching life from the mindset of abundance, focusing on others and the strengths that we and others have.  We do things to be helpful to others and to reduce the inconvenience and suffering of those around us. Our motto shifts from “What can I gain?” to “How can I make someone else’s day better?” We are fueled by the positive energy from giving, and a world of opportunities open up to us as we become accepting of who we are and open and curious about new learning. We become better partners, parents, co-workers, managers, and selves. 

Which path are you on?  Which path would you choose?

… Because YOU HAVE A CHOICE. 

(c) MKMB Coaching 

Analytical and business minds are accustomed to objective-driven problem solving, where we start from the outcome we want and “work backwards” to figure out how to get there. This approach serves us well in contexts where the ”outcome” is discrete and deterministic (ex. We want to finish off the year with x revenue,  y new clients, in market z).

Leading life with an objective-driven mindset can only get us so far — as life is an emergent process. Life’s journey is full of new information, and the evolutions of learning can shape the outcome that we desire in life.  In other words: Life is not rational. We rarely have all the information we need to make a decision and what we want may change. No matter how much “research” we do, how much our minds theorize and project the outcomes, they are often different from our original “plan.”

We are masters at risk managing our lives…

As humans, we are blessed and cursed with our lower and higher order needs. Our desire to be safe and secure motivates us to work hard and provide for our families. Our desire to actualize, to create, and to make a difference tears us apart inside the safe dome we live in.  Our minds are exceptional at conjuring and visualizing risks and failures. Our curiosity is often put to rest by the fight or flight instinct triggered by uncertainties.

Our minds are powerful machines, and the nested “what-ifs” and decision trees we build to help us make decisions often limit us to live the world that we know. 

We are safe and secure in this world, and we become master risk managers — at least for those risks that we can foresee.  Our decisions are driven by fear — being left behind, missing an opportunity, worrying what others think of us, etc. We need to prove to ourselves that we can reach the next level of ”success,” whether it is the amount we make, the title we get, or the status we can achieve; these become the motivations that drive us. We live in a safe world, one that is driven by risk mitigation and conforming to societal standards. 

…. Until external shake ups

At various points in our life, the “objective function” switches drastically, and what we’ve been working toward becomes secondary or irrelevant. We tune in to details that we may not have been paying attention to — whether it is finding a partner to share our success, or coping with a significant loss. Our perspectives are sharpened; our worlds are turned upside down. The “boundaries” of our worlds are forced to expand, whether we like it or not. What was important to us not seems insignificant in this new world. The world we defined is no longer so absolute; the outcome we seek is no longer so discrete. We feel lost.  We come out of those experiences much stronger than before because we have developed a keen awareness of who we are, what we want, and are now taking a more deliberate stance in life.

We have the choice to build resilience, now. 

In my heart of hearts, I believe we all want a fulfilled life — one that is deeply felt and characterized by connectedness and love.  This objective is universal and unchanged, regardless of life’s circumstances. In an emerging life, our ability to fully embrace the learning and changes in our lives is not only important to survival but also to our ultimate fulfillment.

It is within our power to create experiences that will expedite this learning. If we do not actively and deliberately take actions to test these boundaries, our lives will do that for us. We can take small steps to more agilely test-learn-adapt to new experiences and embrace them fully, using our mind as well as our heart. When we feel dissonance and discomfort, we can take a step and ask ourselves ”why” rather than brushing it off.  It is only through taking full advantage of the experiences that we can get to know ourselves better — our inner desires and guidance. It is only when we truly listen to ourselves that we will know what the right answer is for us.

They right answer may be abstract, and there may be many different paths to get closer to it. Our actions may seem random to an outsider, but to us, we are taking magnificent strides towards our higher mission. We are no longer lost or subject to the whim of our circumstance.  We are leading the life we want.

We can shift our own reality.

When you initiate from your core and take actions to gain clarity on how to manifest your abstract vision, you act in alignment with your whole being. You are confident and energized, uplifted by a higher mission, and motivated by curiosity and learning.

You are no longer on the receiving end of pre-existing options and your circumstance. You are a creator of your own reality, igniting changes you want to see, making an impact that is aligned with your higher mission. You embrace every moment in life as an opportunity, rather than a threat.  Your reality shifts significantly, even with small, incremental changes.

If your ultimate objective is to lead a fulfilled life, leading your life with agility, adaptability, and heightened awareness can be a better strategy than “working backwards.”

(c) MKMB Coaching

Try to recall a moment in your childhood where the task at hand was so consuming and so engaging that you got lost in moment. What are the qualities of that moment?  

Now, when was the last time you felt those similar feelings? Took a detour from your normal path? Experimented with a new way of approaching things?

In our busy adult lives, we forget how to play. We settle into our routines where our muscle memory takes over and our response becomes automatic. We are super efficient, but if we lead a lukewarm life then our passion gets lost.

Our inner critiques nip wandering thoughts in the bud before they have a chance to flourish. For example, “Oh, that’d be too irresponsible,” “I can’t do that; it’s just not me,” or “Yeah, but while what I have been doing isn’t perfect, it has worked ok. I am afraid what would happen if I changed things up?” Do these sound familiar to you?

Exponential leaps and transformational changes are catalyzed by creative chaos, not by decisions made in our comfort zone. What might be some of the low risk ways to experiment with your inner desires while honoring the responsibilities that you have?  How can you create time and space, so you can unleash the inner child who yearns for the freedom to explore?

Give yourself permission to wander, to venture out of your daily norms — perhaps take a different path to work, take on a creative hobby, approach your meetings in a different way. You might be surprised by what might be available for you…