#hbs

Summary: the night before Nina and Tommy’s marriage, Maria Ferrante talks to her daughter.

Word count: 700(ish)

A/N: happy Mother’s Day to mama Ferrante. This is based on a deleted scene from Act One’s epilogue. It’s just a quick little thing.

HBS MASTERLIST

The air was different, that night. As if the world somehow knew that as soon as the sun came up, nothing would ever be the same.

I’ll start with some general notes and then proceed into some different experiences from each distinct plan. To give this some structure I'll tackle some wins and some losses. Good and bad.

Some good general stuff

I really think I've been able to keep up a whole vibe. It’s not as bubbly sexy party himbull as one might expect at the extreme end, but definitely a low level aura I've been putting off 24/7. It’s genuinely been something that’s always on my mind in some form and that’s really good. Shows at the very least that paring down the bigger plans so significantly has resulted in the benefits I wanted to see; I.e. more focus and better consistency around these things and a greater ability to action certain elements. I think one of the key things I've done to enable that each week are my little mini timetables of smaller tasks that I’m not as attached to. Generally speaking I'm fine if i only get about 50% of those done. They add some splashes of colour and creativity in how each task can be achieved and more importantly they give a level of structure.

Not so good general stuff

The major stumbling block I’d say has definitely been this internship. It’s just really hard to himbull under these conditions. It’s a massive time sink and the majority of it is really tedious uninteresting work. Meaning that when i get home it’s really hard to do much, even abyss script writing is difficult. And unfortunately the majority of my coworkers are VERY old scientists whose conversational skills and appreciation of certain himbo elements are perhaps….lacking. BUT it’s not all bad because at least it’s a very clear impetus to be outside of the house and some opportunities to twist into Himbull summer stuff. But I'll expand on that below

BULL SUMMER

1) This is easily one of the most simple tasks. Just gotta pop some pills right? Nope. Since I'm totally natty I’ve largely been relying on supplements to eke out some extra growth while bulking. So I opted first to go with some Carnitine Tartrate and Fish oil Omega 3s. And I can definitely say these have had an effect. The carnitine I think distinctly raises my thermogenesis while training, indicating that its purpose(to metabolise fat for energy rather than carbs) is probably going as planned. And the fish oil I definitely noticed good improvement for my hair and nails, coming in a lot healthier and growing quicker. The negative I'd say is that effective bioavailable dosages for the goals I'm aiming for are almost double or triple the suggestions on the bottle. Meaning that a bottle that should theoretically last a normie upwards of three months, is only lasting me one. So it's a little more expensive than initially planned. Along with these more optimized supps I've also been experimenting with this one from Popstar labs that’s meant to increase your load and make it taste better. No notes on taste but from a few tests I can absolutely say that I’m making PUDDLES bros. The next additions I'll be putting in for next month are Ashwagandha and Lactobacillus reuteri(I’ll expand on my rationale for those more in the audio diary). 

2) This one’s been going well. It’s actually really fun to just vamp a little and put some of my natural hypnotic talent to work exploring some smaller concepts that I hope will, over time, be a good passive draw for newer audiences. I got a lot of really good feedback for my Drone foray. The gooner one has only been out for a few days so I hope those of you interested in that kinda stuff will shower it with some love and affection too. A minor difficulty is of course that typically when I'm improv-ing trance it’s for a friend or a subject I'm working with. So just doing it into my recording set up with nothing to play off means I've gotta take some time to get into a flow. I think I'll make a few more this month and see about giving yall a few extras. And I may go ahead and release drone for free on YT.

3) This one’s been a really kinda upsetting one. I started out at 116 followers and after a month of (to me) pretty consistent posting and interacting, i’ve only managed to climb up to 122. It’s a little frustrating. In fact all of my socials have really seemed to slow down growth wise. I know logically it’s probably not because of me and my content, but still. (I’ll expand a lot more on this one in the voice diary for sure cause there’s things i wanna unpack that don’t necessarily need to be written.)

4) The himbull summer loop is really astonishingly easy to listen to. It has this lovely effect of the double tracks just coming together to totally dilate time and make everything just flow. Great for lifting. Not as effective in my experience for Cardio as something like music though. This is also one of the tasks where the internship has been a boon. If they give me a repetitive mindless task it's so easy to just get lost in the loop for an hour, filing boxes or doing data entry or sorting through papers. Just turn the brain off and go on autopilot while I am in my own head. I think the consistency with the loop has also been producing some unexpected subconscious changes. It’s always a little difficult to self-assess with these because it is subconscious, but I 100% feel like I've been training twice as hard. Always pushing to failure and getting stronger. And from the himbo side of it I’ve been so much more confident when it comes to complimenting myself. Plus some new kinks arising from both (I’ll expand in the VD). No downsides on this one tbh.

HIMBO SUMMER

1) I think I've definitely been working on himbofying my aesthetic. Ordered some clothes that I wouldn't typically wear and I really love them (pictures below). This is another one where the internship has been kinda helpful, giving me a daily opportunity to kinda style myself in a way. Different colour combos. Accessorizing. Having fun with it. As a part of just this last week's time table I had a challenge to wear a rainbow of colour through the week and I think that burst of colour into a pretty drab office/lab environment really distinguishes me. Also quite fun to finally be getting some sun and warmth that I think is slowly bringing back some glow to my skin.

I do worry that I’ll fall prey to the cheap dropshipped trash bug. Because some of these clothes are from fairly cheapo shops like Incerunmen, so I've also gotta bear in mind seeking out some quality local stuff or maybe going on a thrifting haul. But it’s so rough to find clothes that resonate with me here. Unfortunately it is a Must tho as I lose even more weight. All my pants have been falling off me for months and it’s gotta stop. Not a good look. For the month ahead I’m gonna try to focus in on accessorizing. Getting some more chains and bangles and other doodads to elevate an outfit. Very open to suggestions for this. I’d also like to thank Totally_bro who put forward a super appreciated Throne contribution towards this and a few other tasks. 

2) This one’s such a hard one. I admit I didn’t go through with any hair shit. Which i feel bad about. I just spent so much time in my own head about it, agonizing over options. I’m pretty attached to my hair tbh which is something this experience made me realize even more. So no, I didn't go through with the haircut. I did revamp my haircare routine with some fancy biotin and collagen products.  I did kinda accidentally stumbled on another semi permanent change. It came to be that I started chatting with a proper himbo aficionado who gave me some tips and tricks and one of them was using a Waist cincher essentially 24/7 as a way of influencing your fat deposition(I’ll explain the rationale in the VD). I know it might sound strange but i’m giving it a try. It was a lot to get used to at first, but genuinely not in a bad way. It’s a constant pressure and kinda helps you sleep too. But the first couple weeks of having to arrange and rearrange all the time, did get annoying. But frankly I think it’s working after a month. I’ve got it fitted so that my chest is prioritized and boys the tits are titting for sure.It’s small but there’s some more noticeable heft to my lower chest especially. Idk. I’ll definitely keep this up for a few more months and if i don’t see better results i might stop, but it doesn’t really take much away from me to wear it. In terms of the next one, it’s still up in the air.

3) Another one that the internship’s made SO easy lmao. Being the only person with any noticeable muscle mass in the office has made me prime pack mule material. My supervisors have been exclusively giving all of the manual lifting and carrying roles to me and it’s great. I mentioned I gymmed a lot on the first day and that was it. Put me to labour (not exclusively tho). I am also 6’2-3 And therefore able to get boxes and things off high shelves. And it’s so easy and so fun being strong! Watching them struggle or have to get 2 people or take 3 times as long with a task, and then me coming in and just polishing it off like nothing. Good stuff.

4) This one’s rough for a number of reasons. It’s tough to kinda force yourself out of that comfort zone, especially when it comes to interactions with other people. I can count on maybe a single hand the amount of times I've successfully Flirted, flaunted or fondled in the last month(I’ll expand on some in the VD). In a way it very much feels like i’ve lost some of the progress from the task last year where I forced myself to do more gym interactions. Now it’s a struggle to do that all again. Most of the small interactions i’ve done usually pass really uneventfully. But some of them just feel mortifying and like i look cringe. But in a way part of this is a bit of rejection exposure therapy. Cultivating the resilience to pursue action without constantly stressing about being rejected by others. Which is my current state. So I've gotta just keep trying. Finding more spaces where I can do so maybe in a controlled and comfy environment.

So that’s the run down for the first month. I think so far it’s going well and having clearer developments in terms of dividends than last years JBS. Unlike Most of these don’t feel as massively impactful in the moment and instead suffuse into the background as passive things to keep in mind and chip away at when necessary. I take that as a good thing because i feel a lot less drained keeping this up than last years set and I feel like these will have a much longer term impact on my aura and mindset.  I’ll be back again on this in 2 weeks with the next struggle update for patreon. And I'll try to get the VD recorded this week at some point.

The week that Tommy rented bought a yacht to spend days out with his girlfriend and his boss, Winston, out in the sea enjoying the sun, the beaches and the most beautiful views. Although for him, the most beautiful view was called Nina.

Join their celebration here!!

Nina belongs to @peakyswritings (hope you like this, Reb! ❤️)

Aloy: He called me a ... ginger avenger ? Whatever that means 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely adored getting to draw our two favourite Quen together for this one. Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE a good surprise rare pair?!!