Denisovan is my spirit hominid

5 years ago, almost to the date, I went to bed and my back hurt. Like. Hell. when I laid down. I figured it was just a muscle cramp or something, but it happened night after night. Painkillers didn’t work. I was getting less and less sleep. So I went to my pediatrician to get it checked out. 

I know this is the point where many medical-student hopefuls will say that their doctor’s exceptional care inspired them to be a doctor. Not this time.

After saying “my back has been hurting every time I lay down or sit/stand for a long time,” the doctor asked “and are you suuuuuure it’s not because of your period?” I’m like, what part of “every day for the past 1.5 months” do you not understand? Sure, lower back pain may be due to cramps, but just because I possess a physiological function does not make that the sole cause of my problem. 

I got it x-rayed, and referred to a bone doc. Spinal fracture. Go figure. I ended up in physical therapy, with a message from this second doc saying that if I felt pain shooting down my legs, I needed to go back in immediately, since that could signal potentially-paralyzing nerve damage. About a month later, I found myself making that dreaded call to the doc saying I had pain shooting down my legs. A third doc saw me this time to check my back again and get the ball rolling on a back brace. This doc asked me, after I described my symptoms, “are you suuure it’s not your period?” Like, yes I am absolutely sure that pain shooting down my legs possibly leading to paralysis is NOT a symptom of period-related cramps or pains! 

Nevertheless, I averted paralysis and ended that summer back pain-free. And to this day, I still wonder how my life may have changed so drastically had I not had my mom in the room vouching for my pain so it wouldn’t be written off as “period cramps.” 

tvxq 2008 t tour

i like all the outfits they wore for this concert actually <3

t-ara - i go crazy because of you pink and black outfits

britney oops i did it again tour

son dam bi - queen stage outfit

i LOVE this top ^

and of course ! tvxq's tri-angle era outfits

LAWTON, Okla. (KSWO) - A woman has been found guilty of First-Degree Manslaughter at the Comanche County Courthouse.

The jury returned around 6:30 today with the verdict in Brittney Poolaw’s case.

The jury began deliberating around 3:45 p.m.

An autopsy report stated Poolaw’s child died at 17 weeks gestation.

The report showed it tested positive for methamphetamine, amphetamine and another drug in the liver and brain.

An OBGYN testified on the stand Tuesday as an expert for the state.

The doctor confirmed the fetus was at the gestational age of about 17 weeks and that methamphetamine use can have an effect on the pregnancy, though he said it may not be the direct cause of death for the fetus.

A nurse and medical examiner both testified to seeing congenital abnormalities on the fetus.

Gestational parents with substance use disorder need to be able to reach out for assistance without fear of incarceration or they will be less likely to reach out. Cases like these only work to increase infant and gestational parent mortality.

And for those of you who look at this and go “but she was harming her child through substance use”, do you think this is where it will stop? Once you start holding people liable for miscarrying, it won’t stop just with the people you find it “acceptable” to be used against. A gestational parent who goes against doctor recommendations for bed rest for a high risk pregnancy and miscarries, who miscarries after an at-fault car accident, who doesn’t seek pre-natal medical care, who does anything that may directly or indirectly lead to a miscarriage…

Not every friendship is going to be this we-connect-on-every-level-no-one-has-ever-understood-me-this-way sort of soulmate. And that’s ok.

I think it’s important to note that there’s a difference because I never had the latter, what I’ll just call a kindred spirit, until I got to high school. And after that, I wanted all of my friendships to be like that, and when they weren’t I got frustrated, and probably ended up hurting a lot of people in the process when I burnt out or realized that isn’t what I really wanted. 

Kindred or casual, neither is better than the other. Both are good. It’s ok to have kindred spirits and it’s ok to have casual friends–human beings need both. You can’t get to know everyone intimately, it’s impossible and exhausting.

And I just feel like there’s this perception that you have to have a best friend, like you have to choose, and you have to hold onto them for years and years and years, and all of your friends have to be kindred spirits or they’re “acquaintances” and I’ve seen so many people categorize their friends as like … if someone doesn’t know you intimately  and won’t do certain things for you that are associated with kindred spirits they’re not “real/true friends” and I keep seeing this demarcation between “friends” and “best friends” and I think that’s kind of an unhealthy attitude and I don’t really think that’s true.

Sometimes you need someone you can spill your soul to, who peers into all your dark corners, who youdon’t lie to and who you feel gets you in a way no one else has. And that’s good and that’s healing.

Sometimes you just need someone who will geek out with you about a new rock or a new album or who is down for meeting you at a diner at 3 am or whatever and that’s it and there aren’t any expectations for soul-bearing (which is exhausting let me tell u what) and you’re both fine with that. And that’s good and that’s healing.

Listen, life is full of some really amazing things, and you’re going to meet some really amazing people. Sometimes they’ll hold your hand for the whole journey, or a long portion of it, and sometimes, they’ll just grab you and spin you around before letting go. And both are good.