nothing Soup

I hate that I can hear this.

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

some of you are calling your boyfriend daddy when the man in question is uncle at MOST ♟️(<- new emoji connotation i just invented indicating a conversational win, a “checkmate,” if you will,)

official cephalopod post

Still feels weird that the same band made "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)"

It's like if Smash Mouth and Fall Out Boy were one band.

The Offspring are honestly a contender for the funniest punk band ever, made even funnier by the fact that Dexter Holland is pushing 60 now and has a PhD in virology.

The hook from "Come Out And Play" was created because Dexter Holland was doing lab work and did, in fact, have to keep certain petri dishes separated while disinfecting them. So he kept saying "gotta keep 'em separated" to himself while working, and it stuck in his head so badly that it made it into the song.

A role model for all of us indecisive people who want to do and try anything and everything.

and what if the princess has be whisked away from the castle in the dead of night to avoid being killed by the enemy soldiers storming the castle walls and one of her father’s knights is charged with escorting her and keeping her safe but because they have to travel through dangerous woods full of bandits and worse the only solution is to dress the princess in the humble clothes of a page and to crop her beautiful hair short and the knight must address her as ‘boy’ and order her around so as not to arouse suspicion and the princess is sobbing to herself one night far from home and the knight timidly lays a hand on her shoulder to comfort her and the princess wrenches herself away, hissing, you know nothing of my pain, but the knight replies in a sweet and husky voice, i do, because in fact, the plight of being a woman forced to pretend to be a man is all too familiar, the knight is herself a woman, and then they fuck

saw the guy who is repairing our apartment elevator cross himself while reading something on his ipad which we can only hope relates to his feelings about the pope's death and not his feelings about the state of our elevator