The Scientific Nature of the Whammy

Nobody was behind me in line, which seemed to be a good reason for her to treat me to a five minute retelling of the identification, rescue, and argument over initial custody of Kit Kat, who was so small they thought when they first heard him crying for help that he was a bird and not a kitten in a tree, and is now fifteen pounds of "pure, sculpted lardass".

And I didn't mind, precisely, I wasn't bored or anything, but around the time she was bringing me up to speed on Kit Kat's current status it occurred to me that this woman is a cashier in a store that primarily sells candy bars and beverages. People must buy Kit Kat bars from her multiple times a day. Does she do this every time there's nobody in line behind the purchaser? Did I just have that I Own Several Cats And Will Enjoy Your Cat Stories look about me? Was it the first time it occurred to her that she sold the brand of candy bar she named her cat after? Was she new to the job of selling Kit Kat bars?

I was in the same snack shop, which I'm in, like, once a month, recently. I only recognized her because I spent five minutes listening to this monologue in sincere wonder. But I did recognize her, so as I was buying a soda and a Milky Way bar (this time) I said, without thinking about how this would come across, "Hey, how's Kit Kat?"

She looked genuinely horrified and said, "What...how?"

"Oh fuck!" I blurted. "Sorry! You told me about him last time!"

This is still quite cryptic as responses go but she gave me a frankly frantic look of sudden recognition and said, "He's fine! You bought a Kit Kat! I was unmedicated!"

I did not inform her she is small town famous on Tumblr and instead just said, "Glad you're both doing well!" and we parted as confused and mortified friends.

19th Century

PINE TWO-PART CORNER CUPBOARD

Under a red finish. Upper case with a nine-pane glass door enclosing shelves. Lower case with a drawer over two paneled cupboard doors.

AMERICAN SCHOOL

19th Century

Portrait Of A Young Gentleman In A Waistcoat.

Unsigned.

Oil on canvas

Early 20th Century

PESHAWAR RUG IN PERSIAN DESIGN: 7'10" X 9'10"

Columns of bold floral medallions are surrounded by blue, red, green, tan and pink flowering branches on a midnight blue field. Blue curvate serrated leaves are arranged in a serpentine fashion throughout the broad red main border.

ALBERT R. NEMETHY, JR.

New York, 1952-2024

Catskill Mountain House.

Signed lower right "Albert Nemethy".

Oil on canvas board