Deviant PSI

I wrote this song for someone I once loved. I kinda figure I might start posting all the music I make that doesn’t suck here (even if no one sees it)

My skin battered from the rocks, my skin is bruised from the sea bed, the sea water fights my cuts. I was bleeding, I was wondering why. My skin irritates me, it's makes me who I am, good for nothing, just wish to turn off the switch. I'd have killed myself long before I met you, nothing could change it. Nights pottering around, looking busy. But my head hurts, my eyes are sore. My mind is in pieces below the door. I'm shattered and hung, evidently it's what I will become. If I could disappear, I would. I'd sink into the floor, I'd be dead before the clock strikes 6am. Everyday is a struggle that I need, tired of masking my misery. Just the truth is so much more, so little I'd discuss.

Highly nervous about posting this online, it's a rap I wrote. There's more to it but this is all for now.

I don't normally write fast paced rap lyrics, but this is some of my recent work. She gives me the energy to get lost in outta space With the chemical imbalance, for rhetorical sake, keep breathing, this is the final word, this is the final word And then I slide down to a 6 barrel revolver, the bullet to my head is like a resolver, the loath, the self pity, the self hate, back chatting insecurities that fade, I'm the last one to cry, the first to fall, reconcile the pain, take the blame, fire to the war, this is the final word, this is the final word Look at the page, this is the book I'm back tracking every single move I made, it's like I'm lost my mind, I'm covered in confusion in the weirdest ways, the mistakes, I can't ignore, they just stay, stuck in my mind like a time without a faze, nor a trend, it doesn't end, the pain renders, like a continuous movie, the flashing lights, the lost stares, the fallen rights, the burning kites, the unwillingness to ever put up a fight. This is the final word, this is the final word I can't do it, I won't, I want it all to end, with the critical breakdown, without a victorious end, descend like nightmares from inside your head, pulsing frequencies, from within your meds, the Feds, they came to take you away, what gullible suspect, they're gonna get paid, have no self respect, give in, lost the fight, it was a battle for a prospect, but you were a might. This is the final word, this is the final word Look at the page, this is book

A song I wrote called Chlorine and Paint.

https://itun.es/gb/1wXHc

A cover of Rogue Wave's Seasick on Land, not a great one at that.

Easter Day all year round, find myself in self doubt. Clutching on to my bad habits, only sweet and subtle uncertainty crawling in my mind, in my frame, sugar is like my cocaine.

Clusters of positives fill those potholes you couldn't fill, thought you were broken but you're not. You don't need his love, you love yourself. You don't need their acceptance, you feel happy alone. To shimmer on, you can part the Red Sea, you could bring Giza to its knees, the Ammit couldn't touch you within a strand of your hair, you dare to, we are fascinated. Maybe it's the sand below your feet, your code red emergency that doesn't give way, you wrote the book that we read. It's the steps you take, the footprints that fade, we admired you, we admired that.

May you burn with the corrosion, the seamless amber light doesn't filter it sparkles, it'll be the last one, it'll be the fire that flickers at night. Unspoken once again, this tideway keeps me awake, if it's just embracing, it's mine, if it's just insane it's yours. Use my infrared to see your true scars, you are a canvas. I used cut outs of old newspapers, I designed you a story, it's portentous of me, figure you out. Maybe I'm meant to mend you like papier-mâché, you crumble like you did before, I'd still be the glass beneath your feet, I'll break on command for you.

Rogue Wave - Lake Michigan

Rose in a vase, eyes salty from the tears In denial of those glares, watch them turn into fears Picket fence, the perfect house, the family, I'm all alone What's best left unsaid? Taking turns, what is right. Shine the light on my mistakes I will fight, never flight, I will hurt you and turn away Growth within time, I started to believe you could be mine Alone on the bay, I watch the stars and fade away I retract the stones across the beach, you are far gone, out of reach What's best left unsaid?

Red to the darkest black, the witch doctor has done it again. Convinced I'm sucker for pain, it's all apart of his game. Green with envy? I think not, scared to shout, my pathetic cries bounce off those unkept walls, sing me a lullaby, place your chair of hate next to my bed, make me wish I was dead. The nightmares that still accompany me, he tells me what to say and what to do, the psyche of the foul scent, the rotten being, caked in dirt, a covenant I must lay to, a covenant I must fade in, everything's going down. It's confidential, how to suffer the way you do, the bright gaze above, burns out.