yike.

i support women's neutrals. i support when women just stand there and do nothing

just got kicked out of Starbucks for - you guessed it - inventing a special kind of glue that lets me climb up anything.

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals

saying “be safe” like a spell that’ll protect them

love everyone in the tags saying “it is” you’re right

$1.32. That's the cost of my Vegan lunch. But apparently thats too expensive for people addicted to cheese & meat.

asked my almost 50yo slur-using father who watched house every night during its original run if he thinks house and wilson had a thing and after a 10 second pause he shared "they didn't have a normal friendship" and didn't elaborate. so

no offense but if i exit out of a program that program should close. none of that running in the background shit.

If you kill something it had better be dead

my doctor asked me for a routine blood lab this week so I deliberately scheduled it for today just so that I could have 'eclipse and blood sacrifice' on my calendar

does anyone else remember 2012-2013 when everyone’s URL was like “winchesters-221b-inthetardis” and now everyone’s url is just like “truckpussy”

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

I'm sorry but how can people be so terrible when my friend always waits for me after lunch so we can get coffee together ? When we compare our handwritings to see what letters we write the same ? When she calls me to talk about her day and says "you inspired me to act up and be better" ? When we look at each other and try not to laugh when another person says something stupid ? When he says "I'll drive you to the train station" ? When she cries "I wish you wouldn't talk about yourself that way, because you are a good person" ? When she says "I used to take the bus but for you, I'll walk all the way home" ? When he's supposed to lend me just one book but gives me two because "I'm sure you'll love this one" and I do ? When she says "I'm very happy to be part of this group" ? When he says "I'm more confident since I met you" ? When she laughs until she cries at my jokes before I even tell them ?

How can people be so terrible when my best friend planned a whole weekend out with me but forgot to tell me ? When my colleagues all got me some food but didn't tell each other so I got three portions when I thought I wouldn't eat that day ? When the bus driver always waits a minute longer because he knows the train I'm in is late ? When the stranger in front of me always hold the door for me ? When my sister calls me to quote a movie we both loved as kids ? When I help a kid through a panic attack and she says "I hope you never get unhappy. I hope the sun always shines your way" ?

The answer to your problems is self-discipline

Chat is this real

no. your problems are everyone elses fault and the answer is to kill people

So true and real thank you for your wisdom ❤️