Danger Goblin

The writer's barely disguised longing for a soft life shared with someone who loves them

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

And this isn't a broken-up couple on the rebound. They've absolutely always been like this with each other save for the 11 months they were married, during which time every single day was a murder-suicide risk.

Two people who are each other's absolute everything unless you try to make them share a kitchen and a budgeting system

It gets better—the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing

Not only that, but if you notice at the beginning, the cat *gets the man’s attention* as any person who wanted to talk to a deaf/hoh individual would (well, and vice versa IME). I’ve done sign since I was 5, and generally, w/o eye contact initially, you wave a hand or lightly touch the arm (if that’s ok with the person you’re trying to converse with, of course).  Generally, adult cats meow mostly to humans, but this cat has figured out that’s not going to work and has adapted. Animal companions! They are INCREDIBLE.

Amazing.

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS CAT.

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.

I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you

I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter

Really the only makeup you need is eyeliner but that’s just my personal opinion

Official graveyard post

stop telling people I’m dead

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.

happens

Being high has me saying things like “I like friends” as if it’s some profound relization

a puff of truthweed will have your breath carry only the undeniable