about that mediocre life

he/him markiplier

they should make a my friend that doesn’t have to go through ten william horrors every single day

genuinely i don’t think it’s possible to easily explain the explicit part of online friendships to people who don’t Understand. i don’t mean like, explicit in the sense of “oh you’re sexting” or whatever. no. i mean when you and your friend start gleefully making up explicit sexual scenarios for your shared blorbos and you get giddier and giddier as you add more detail and you’ll be grinning at your screen as you type away at mach speeds. and it’s entirely nonsexual in an interpersonal sense, you’re not really getting Into it, but ohhhhh it’s soooooo fun and satisfying. and you can NEVER tell someone who doesn’t also do this that your mood is actively improved like fivefold because you and your friend played Sexual Tuoys together because they’ll go “what the FUCK.”

never let the fact that you were born a girl stop you from being the gayest man alive

shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics

the best thing a fictional man can be is having the worst time of his life

also we have GOT to collectively come to terms with the fact that me or any other stranger online disliking or even making fun of something you like is not saying “no fun allowed” “no one can ever enjoy this” you have simply got to grow a spine and be able to like the shit you like. you don’t even have to defend it! like 90% of the media i really enjoy is divisive and half my friends actively hate it. i really don’t give a fuck though because i like it. you can write whatever you want! you’re allowed! even if it’s MY least favorite genre or style of writing and i have active distaste for it!

hate that I was understanding when I should’ve just been a cunt

you think you’re a retired insane person and then something triggers you

when u finish smoking weed down to the filter it emits a little soul like a pikmin

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born