Graha's BETTER cockwaffle

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards

*walks around my house in a tank top and underwear like im the only playable woman in a david cage game*

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

Being hairy is so awesome #mammal