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During my time at Lifeline, I had attended calls from couples experiencing conflict between each other as well as emotional stress and confusion.ā£
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I remember helping a person who was experiencing chronic pain and anxiety. She had informed me that her partner wasnāt very supportive, telling her to āget over the pain and stop focusing on worryingā. Because her partner didnāt really know how tough these two stresses were, he wasnāt willing to understand how difficult it was for her. She couldnāt just get over it and stop worrying! It was much more complicated than that. ā£
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This person feeling low and defeated asked for my advice. I had advised her to let him know how he was making her feel. That what he was saying wasnāt making it any better and lowered her confidence to get help. ā£
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Even though I encouraged this person to take the action she deserved, by seeking therapy, but most importantly ā I helped her find ways to communicate the severity of what she was going through, so he could understand. She thought of printing out information packs around anxiety and chronic pain. She also informed partner about things he could say from now on that can help the both of them. As a result, she could get the help she needed and had her partner by her side to understand, validate and support her.
This is a lovely example of the importance of responding to someoneās concern in a patient and supportive way and expressing your needs and worries in a compassionate way to the other.
This facilitates understanding and connection. The other is seen, heard and emotionally validated, as a result, you two work together to resolve issues and overcome obstacles, even daily life misunderstandings. ā£Both are required to express this and if one isnāt, you can help them see that.
Hope this helps someone, more cases will be discussed šš„°
