I Am The Bottle Goblin

girl with ptsd voice: hey, so something really bad is gonna happen, right? you guys are picking up on that too, yeah? The other shoe is about to drop, I just know it.

posted at 3 am and has over 200 notes less than two hours later. girls, are y'all okay?

boy got that real life nuka cola

lyrics DO NOT 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️❌❌🚫🚫 have to be good 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️ for the song to be good 👍😎😎😎

They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

the grink was there. it didnt change anything but it still matters that the grink was there.

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real