cars make great bonfires

my mansion is in fucking shambles. my maids are incompetent and im not convinced they know how dishes work

You sweep them

NO!!!!!!!

Vacuum?

EAT!!!! YOU EAT OFF OF PLATES!!! AND THEN YOU WASH THEM!!!!!!!

ohhh i'm drink them. okay 💛

do NOT SWEEP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

a severe thursday warning is in effect. take shelter now.

the thursday warning has been lifted. stay alert for further thursday activity.

fucked up you cant chew batteries. they look like they have The Texture

You absolutely can chew on batteries though, you probably shouldn't but you can do that

ive tried putting one in my mouth and biting down really hard but feck they're actually really solid things ;_;

oh... *throws box of batteries into active traffic*

you know even if a homeless person or a starving person is in that position because of their own "bad decisions" i don't care. it doesn't matter. no supposed financial misstep is enough to condemn someone to homelessness or poverty.

Search and rescue teams do not ask if a hiker was properly equipped and prepared before they go out to look for them. EMTs do not ask if a driver checked their mirrors before they take them to the hospital. Lifeguards do not ask if a swimmer made a mistake by going into a riptide before they dive in after them. Judgement doesn't help anyone, including you, the person doing the judging. Just help people. Just shut the fuck up and help people.

If your system doesn't account for the fact that Parents Are Going To Be Abusive/Neglectful/Insufficient then it objectively sucks I'm sorry I don't make the rules

Monitored bank accounts for those under 18. Requiring parental consent for medical procedures. Parental controls on personal devices. "We won't teach this at school because parents are supposed to address it at home." Anything that puts all of the child's power onto the parents' hand, anything that assumes parents are going to inherently do enough of a good job no one else needs to interfer, every single one of these IS going to be used by controlling, neglectful or unprepared parents and already are, and if the system did not account for that very real, tangible, dangerous tendency, then it's not worth fucking anything. You shouldn't make things "for the youth"/with children in mind if you are going to overlook this painfully common aspect of their lives u_u

It’s time for YOU to listen to me.

this is the single best description i have ever heard for a cat

thoughts have to be tilted in order to go into the right part of brain for solve