Miss-Mandragore

i don't need dan main channel content i need a two hour danisnotinteresting video tier listing every condiment he's ever tried

I go feral for for fics where Eddie is like "I'm a metalhead drug dealer🤘😈, I'm dangerous, I'm from the wrong side of the tracks☠️💉⚠️, I'm bad news baby, you should be scared, I'll eat you up and spit you out⛓️🐺⛔️, you should run, you're a suburban spoiled rich kid and I'm exactly the bad news your mommy warned you about❤️‍🔥🔪😏" and Steve, who fought an interdimensional demon with a bat full of nails, who protected children from the equivalent of radioactive rabid dogs, who endured russian torture, who saw a little girl who was the experiment of a shady government organization explode full grown adults with her mind, who survived a demon bat attack with only his fists and teeth as weapons, he's like "ok sweetie, I'll pick you up at six 🥰✨"

Love to wake up in my lesbian separatist paradise (single bedroom apartment) and drink my elixir (cheap black coffee) and smoke my herbs (poorly rolled joint) and commence the chants (play indigo girls CD) and cast spells (masturbate in the shower) and make ambrosia (oatmeal) and annoint myself (roll on my patchouli and vanilla oils) and put on my amulet (necklace from mom) and unlock arcane knowledge (guided meditation) and go on a mystical journey (walk uptown)

tshirt that says MY COCK IS HUGE AND MY GRIP ON REALITY IS TENUOUS AND MY COCK IS AVERAGE

god I wish I was a sheep being gently but firmly held down and sheared by a butch lesbian

I don't know what's making this one so hard for you people to understand

god gives his most specific, hard to explain genders to his strongest dykes

a dyke will take 1 bong rip and suddenly blush to tears over heart eyes howell

when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance

WHOS THIS TWINK PHIL as dan’s reaction to seeing the decorator vs HEY!!! NONE OF THAT!!!! as phil’s reaction to dan saying he might kiss a girl in prague… oh man

being held would be so cool. wish physical touch was real