In All Ways Except Physical, I Am a Bug With a Big Ass

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

As a customer service worker: it has to be reaaaal strange or real rude for me to remember/talk about. A lil awkwardness is ok, i find it endearing.

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

"trans people just name themselves after characters" as opposed to cis people who name their children after names in the bible

grab your nonbinary unspecified body part and do something vague to it

sorry america but you’ve been really mean. and I don’t want to go to your birthday party in two days

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then