We'll always have soup

a friend with a boyfriend is a type of dead wife

pride month almost over and nothing gay happened to me what was the point

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

My buddy lost his job to AI. It was his job to chug thousands of gallons of water at a data center

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

knuckle tats that say PREV PREV

My dad read me stuff like the lord of the rings and the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and Sherlock Holmes as bedtime stories when I was a kid and I dunno what sort of effect that had on my development but whatever it did I think I’m making it everyone else’s problem

Reading chapter books one chapter a night to his kids was I think also an excuse for my dad to read some books he’d never gotten around to reading by himself. Did he know how sexual the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy series can possibly get? No. We learned that together as a family.

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

Fuck is a medieval seagull doing in pre-colonial America?

There are american seagulls??? why wouldn't there be a seagull in the americas???

Charlie Bucket was a final girl

a friend with a boyfriend is a type of dead wife