formerly lesbians-for-trobed

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

imagine being a dog and you think your chances are pretty good. and then you look over and there's Mitski getting her wallet out

the best part of the princess bride is how it says that love is the number one motivation in life but! a close number two is spite.

top ten most fucked up & evil lines in fiction is in community when abed hits troy with that FUCKASS "btw when i cloned you i had to patch some missing parts of your dna with genes from a homing pigeon. you may notice side effects—like a compulsion to come back" which i remember verbatim because what the fuck.

i like how in dennis & dee's mom is dead when the guys go out to look for dudes you can see what type of man they're attracted to. dennis goes for the younger, lean, fashionable blond guy. mac goes for the ripped guy by the gym equipment. charlie goes for the older, passionate, poetic man with the crossbow. but he also is the only one to successfully bring the guy home with them. and he sits in bed with the plushies and has the guy read a bedtime story to him

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[ID: tweet reading “that’s a great idea for a story. But have you considered they should all be girls?” /end ID]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

i miss when mac called dennis ‘den’