A Cole Caufield Fan Blog

i’m just a guy. More or less

i hope a ceiling fan falls on the empty spot in the bed next to you and it starts understanding your needs

no matter how terrible my day is. i can always end my day in bed imagining fictional characters making out sloppy style and fucking raw. and that's beautiful. there's some good in this world mister frodo and it's worth fighting for

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

A laptop is a living creature. It has weight to it. A laptop breathes and produces body heat. And it wants to die badly. Mobile phones are not sentient like that & that's why they don't experience mental illness. A phone problem is like "out of storage :(" or "charging port broke". Laptops will cough weakly as they fade in and out of consciousness

You will hold a laptop in your arms and it's like "I can't feel my legs". And you tell it girl you never had any

there’s something so admirable and poetic about girls on here who are obsessed with hockey men. like you took the sport with the least face visibility and most indiscriminate injuries by sharp hard objects and you thought this too is poetry. even blonde men with weird beards and no teeth can feel love

They made divorce so expensive because they knew ppl would do it for kink reasons

Me & my man getting our bi-yearly divorce so we can yell accusations at each other & then have a hot passionate extramarital affair for about 3 days before we re-marry

May I introduce you to my 23rd husband? (it's been the same guy 23 times)

the unfortunate thing abt life is sometimes you Do have to wait for the bus in the rain and if you were a specific brand of annoying in 2012/13 this is significant

i’m trying to have a yaoi moment with you. man to man i’m trying to have a yaoi moment with you right now

back from the hospital

imagine if werewolf knots were square

the sign in button?

god. shinzo abe got his shit wrecked by a goddamn doohickey but the lethal gunshot wound capital of the world cant aim for shit. what the fuck is the second amendment even for