Wrote this a while ago, to expand on my vision of Bruce being fucking ancient, AKA de-aged Bruce with the Justice League
It was very shocking to all of them when the stick exploded in a blast of green smoke, robots clattering to pieces around them without being touched at the same time. Superman rushed to Batmanβs side, concerned, only to find him gone.
Or, rather, replaced.
The boy was drowning in Batmanβs costume, the gauntlets and pieces of armour and pants all drooping around him as he stood awkwardly in Batmanβs chest piece. He tore off Batmanβs cowl, confusion marring his features, revealing a head of ruffled black hair and bright blue eyes. He was incredibly tiny, compared to Batmanβs looming figure, and seemed like a stiff breeze might knock him over.
βOh no,β Superman said, since he was the only one who could see through the green fog.
The fog suddenly cleared, as quickly as it came. The boy looked around curiously, his body stiff and his posture speaking of his discomfort. Even the villain looked a bit concerned, in the face of his obvious distress that he seemed to desperately be trying to hide, and the Justice League Members present all felt a bit worried that this nervous boy had replaced Batman.
βIs thisβ¦β the boy murmured. He seemed to gather himself. βIs this a ransom demand?β
βOh my God,β Flash said. βHeβs baby Batman.β
βIβm just gonna-β the villain said, then popped out of existence as sheβd come, leaving the Justice League with their new problem.
It took a few minutes for everyone to calm down. The boy refused to move, resolutely, which made planning the next course of action rather difficult.
βAlfred said to stay where I am if Iβm ever lost,β the boy stated resolutely. βHe canβt find me if Iβm wandering around while heβs looking for me. He was very clear.β
βIf you would just tell us who Alfred is-β Superman said, the tenth time.
βI told you,β the boy huffed. βAlfred is my butler. Iβm not leaving without him.β
βDo you have a phone?β Flash suggested hopefully.
βYes,β the boy responded, tilting his head.
βIs Alfredβs number on it? You could call him,β Flash said.
βOn it?β the boy repeated. βWhy would his number be on it? How would it be on it? Do you think we cover our phones in paper?β
βHandheld phones werenβt invented when he was a child,β Wonder Woman deduced aloud.
βDo you know Alfredβs number?β Superman suggested wearily.
βI do!β the boy exclaimed, excited. βI memorized it first, before anything else.β
He looked around curiously.
βIs there a payphone?β he asked.
There was a weary sigh from all members present.
It took Superman twenty minutes to get the child to input Alfredβs number on his phone. Mostly because he didnβt seem to understand the screen at all, which was slightly amusing, but he also kept dropping it, unsure how to hold the phone in one hand like Superman. For their benefit (and just in case this was a very poorly planned ransom after all) he asked Superman to put it on speaker (also he wanted to see what βspeakerβ did to the phone).
βHello?β a posh voice answered the phone.
The boy flinched when the sound came out, then perked up in recognition.
βAlfred!β he exclaimed, carefully taking the phone from Supermanβs palm and cradling it between his hands like it was a fragile bird. βThis is Bruce.β
There was a moment of silence. It was nice to know the kidβs name, everyone thought. It would sure be nice if we knew Batmanβs name, to know for sure if theyβre the same person, everyone thought.
βMaster Bruce,β Alfred said. βHow old are you?β
βIβm twelve, Alfred,β Bruce replied, as though the question was completely normal.
βI see,β Alfred responded immediately. βMay I speak to whomever found you?β
βWould you like to speak to Alfred?β Bruce asked Superman, his eyes big and hopeful.
βSure,β Superman replied. Because he was a sucker.
It took a few minutes for Alfred to convince them that yes, Bruce was Batman, this small child grew up to be Batman, Batman is only human, thatβs why he was small at the age of twelve, really, he is being serious, the pouting boy is Batman. He explained that they had a plan for this turn of events, but that it would have to be put off, because Poison Ivy escaped from Arkham and the streets would be too dangerous for a young boy as curious as Bruce. He asked very politely if they would keep him entertained at the Watchtower for a few days.
βI donβt think any of us are really that good with children,β Superman stated, watching as Flash tried to explain to Wonder Woman that she shouldnβt throw the kid in the air, no matter how much he asked, because she threw too hard.
βMaster Bruce was always a remarkably easy child for babysitters,β Alfred told him. βIf he does wrong, he usually gets too guilty at himself to do much other than apologize.β
βAlfred!β a voice screamed in the background. βJason stole my cape!β
βYouβre being a dick!β another voice exclaimed.
βYou canβt keep using that just because my name is Dick!β the other roared.
βI have to go,β Alfred said, though he sounded remarkably calm. βAside from Poison Ivy, Master Dick is visiting. I do not want him to try and teach his de-aged father anything bad.β
βWhat?β Superman questioned.
βAlfred!β the first voice whined.
βAlfie, tell βem heβs beinβ a jerk!β the second voice grumbled.
βPut Master Bruce on the phone,β Alfred ordered.
Superman gave Bruce the phone. Bruce cradled the device again, staring at it with large eyes.
βI have to go, Master Bruce,β Alfred told him. βPlease be good for the Justice League.β
βOf course,β Bruce replied.
βGo to bed on time, even if they try to teach you bad habits,β Alfred ordered.
βI will, Alfred,β Bruce said, determinedly.
βGoodbye, Master Bruce. Iβll call you again at a more appropriate time and we can talk.β
Bruce hummed. There was a long moment of silence. It was a good thing Alfred hung up, because Bruce eventually looked up at Superman and asked, very politely, βHow do I know if the call is disconnected?β
