hiya

call me when slenderman is fatwoman

I showed this to my husband and he said he wants four mugs like this in various states of eaten, so he can swap when no one’s looking and make it look like he’s actually eating it.

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

Sexting like “makes sense. sounds good to me.”

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

posts funnier with timestamps on

next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador

hey bro last night was really fun, i felt my inner flower bloom in your presence. sadly the only butterfly species with a long enough proboscis went extinct long ago. but i saw you ate that fruit cup without cutlery so maybe not all hope is lost

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat