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Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

A wedding should NEVER occur before noon. It shouldn’t be too late either. You want to get married at 1-3 pm so everyone starts drinking early and is so drunk they are hauled home at a reasonable hour.

oh my god it hurts

and it's going to hurt forever

as a child of divorce few things are as funny to me as the concept of alimony like you have to pay your ex-wife recompense for the crime of being a fail husband

Y'all for real please do these. Even if you're certain your posture doesn't suck. One day you will wake up with impinged shoulder pain like I did and let me tell you it fucking HURTS. Do these exercises even just once a week and it will make such a difference. Especially my fellow creatives out there, stop shrimping over your work and go do these right now. RIGHT NOW.

Also, if you’re even a little concerned about getting a hump or having trouble standing fully upright in your old age, this is how you prevent that. If you want to be up and about when you’re old you have to start when you’re younger. And keep in mind there is no bad time to start and it’s never too late. Starting today is way better than never starting at all.

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation

Wait, it's a sex thing? I've always assumed it was a supervillain giving his henchman orders to destroy the lithe young hero invading his evil lair.

Yes exactly!

Rich people with throw a tantrum over the littlest of annoyances. Spoiled brats

I aspire to be him

Juliet also conveyed her regards.

This gave me an idea for a story of romeo and juliet but I'm a necromancer called Juleo and I bring them both back to life and then it's a revenge story like the count of Monte Cristo

My best post.

i am actually insufferable once I get comfortable with someone

What a beautiful thing to be someone a friend feels safe to be vulnerable with

how dare you turn my self-deprecating midnight rambles into a hopecore positive post

Get hoped

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

Woe, Cat with money be upon ye!

i love how this implies that gritty is how vulcans see jim