if anyone needs me i’ll be alone in my tower

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

Our commune kind of has a "solarpunk" vibe, in the sense that we are kicking dogs

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

try not to laugh for 10,000 years challenge ends in failure when on the 3,652,424th day a delightful tumbling beetle causes me to chuckle whistfully

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

Itd be funny as fuck if the world operated like how people with social anxiety think it does. Like what if you got on a bus and everyone was like wow look at that piece of shit loser. Get off the bus you ugly bastard

I'm so glad that that truncated fucking ran-into-a-wall-at-speed tadpole-ass looking squirrel only lives in high altitude forests in Borneo bc this means I am extremely unlikely to encounter one in my day to day life. thank god

DID YOU MAKE THIS BLOG SIMPLY TO TORMENT ME