I’m too lazy for dating. Why can’t someone materialize out of nowhere and agree that we should spend the rest of our lives together

[video description: person on camera inhales on the party blower, not making any noise and simulating taking a drag off a cigarette. Then exhales as someone off-camera blows into their own party blower, making the sound. Person on camera loses their shit and everyone laughs. End description]

ice water is so fucking good

not only is it refreshing but once you’re finished you can either chew on the ice or let it melt and then you have more water… choose your own adventure

As I am, So is the Universe

I love how it’s only embarassing if you’re embarrassed

People in the 70s would wake up and be like I need to go hitchhiking right now

mfs be like good morning susan! another serial killer in the paper today, so not groovy! welp, time for our daily car ride with stranger !

It translates to “we’re looking for you” and I don’t feel comfortable