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I can be so awful sometimes. And sometimes I am not and most times . I’m just me which is neither of those things

Oh so it’s my fault I’m obsessed with symbolism…I didn’t think of that. I genuinely refuse to do things ..like I’m doing that . Bccccc of [whatever] I’ll interpret my limits as if that is the reason to not do it. But here’s the thing when money is involved I will. Idg that . I feel like I’ve been made to feel like doing it for the love of the game is foolish. And that there’s always an angle I must watch out for… I actually do need to meditate. I can’t believe it’s going to feel like this for longer and I must endure. But I just have to do it. I can believe that actually, what did I think this was.

depression meals made with love

This dog sitting shit is starting to get to me

The brain is such a scary place

I never should have picked up that dope 😭 like omg the rem rebound now that I’m smoking less…I am genuinely terrified of going back to bed…internet telling me I have to face my subconscious wounds. Oh right yes let me grapple W visceral abuse. Abandonment and endangerment. I guess that is my life but I have numbed myself to it. And why was I on a farm. And why was the Hannah girl from hacks helping me escape she was such a comfort actually when she dissapeared and the guy was beating the door down I was trying to jump off the balcony to escape it all . I had to wake up this was too much. The internet is literally telling me to accept it all. FYCK okay then. If this will free me I will. Need better sleep hygiene tho

Thinking about how I’m an air sign heavily dominated by earth and water in my astrological makeup, and I love spinning on my pole (air + fixed onto the earth) and swimming. Like I actually feel most alive then. If I was an executive my door would b closed and when someone would come visit me, my assistant would be like not rn. Shes spinning.

Japanese show about abused hamster

Fell into the hype of new thing and got burger and fries craving a feeling like putting fries on burger. And it was illuminatingly underwhelming like 😭😭

If no one got me, an old lighting tech literally always will.