i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

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i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

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🌟⚜️🌟Stars Clouds🌟⚜️🌟
Indian steel and silver mace, 18th or 19th century.
from The Jorge Caravana Collection
Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

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Last week I asked my dad if he remembers sneaking me into the cinema to see Deep Rising in 1998. He said he thought so but didn't remember which cinema it was. He was stunned that I not only remembered the exact cinema but also the time of day and the shirt I was wearing.
Today I forgot what someone told me over the phone even though the conversation ended 3 seconds ago.
“My memory is like a chalkboard and someone else has the eraser while another someone else writes random things in permanent marker instead of chalk.”
-Actual quote from be before I even imagined I might be ADHD.
Fool me once? Shiiiit. Fool me twice? Fuckkkk bro stop fooling me
hey guys unpopular opinion but you’re not a bad person if you don’t care about every bad thing happening in the world all the time, or if you do care but you’re not constantly reblogging posts spreading awareness and information
it’s okay if you’re just on tumblr to have fun and reblog things you like or that make you happy.
humans aren’t made to process trauma and suffering on a worldwide scale without any breaks whatsoever & the internet has created an unprecedented access to bad news so please never feel guilty for scrolling past it because you can’t process it! and you’re not doing anything wrong & there’s no need to feel guilty
daily reminder
The real shitty part is the fact that the people that would try to make you feel bad for not always caring about every thing going on in the world are largely just “caring” in a purely performative manner
Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.
I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻
If you could help me spread awareness about this by reblogging, I’d really appreciate it.
I’ve had this post on insta saved for sometime ❤️
[Text Description: “Hey! Reminder: Eskimo is a slur. It means ‘snow eaters’ in Cree and is a slur against Inuit . Also don’t use ‘Eskimo kisses’. It’s called Kunik. It is a greeting mostly used for family… Kunik was how I’d greet my mom and grandmother as a small child.” /TD]
Rebloging for the awareness and especially for the alternative words
And so people who are just learning this now know the proper usage: “Inuit” is plural. The singular is “Inuk”, as in “he is an Inuk”
I’ve reblogged this a lot in the past but one more time for the people who maybe don’t know yet
this is fucking hilarious
Seems to have worked!

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this is so funny, average yankee behaviour
Some rich guy in a power suit carrying the cross with support wheels is a perfect metaphor for the entire cult that is the evangelical church
They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket
If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should turn it up and lay on your bed and close your eyes and really listen to it even if its 10 minutes long because at the end you will know that person much better I think
My love for this post is unbelievable.
DIEGO FANS WE WON TONIGHT
by Inga Ivanova

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whenever i’m bored i go to r/petfree and scroll for a while because these people are so fucking insane and have cultivated an echo chamber that is so crazy and they don’t even know it. it’s like actually really funny
they get REALLY mad when someone calls their pet their baby and it’s always somehow mixed with some borderline misogynistic complaint about how the birth rate is falling. just incomprehensible levels of discourse going on over there
like. what??? you’re mad because you saw a dogs footprints in the sand? not an actual dog or dog poop just. footprints? that will be washed away? you are a human being living on earth. of course you’re going to see evidence of dogs being alive sometimes. are you like, ok?
Omg they’re like incels but for animals
childfree communities reach similar levels of absurdity.
every time someone is asked to describe what they consider to be positive masculinity (hardworking, protective, whatever) they are at a loss when the follow up question is "okay but what makes these positive characteristic masculine? women have them too"... it's almost as if it's all patriarchal bullshit lol