Brain: Empty

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

I wish I spoke Spanish, this probably says something really beautiful

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

Tell you what, extreme lead poisoning WOULD explain a lot about gotham....

I'm fucking wheezing so hard, this is amazing. And fucking perfect in every way. I'm incorporating this into my web of headcanons right fucking now, so you can expect at least one allusion to Captain Pipes in NTTLNTTD.

i like sailing myths and superstitions because most of them can be boiled down to "if the ocean doesn't like you it will chew you up and spit out your bones. and if it really loves you it will swallow you whole and keep you forever. good luck 👍"

best use of the underwater filter on this app

Hey, Tumblr. You like non-stereotypical depictions of autism? What about ✨ neurodivergent protagonists ✨ ? Yes? What about asexual neurodivergent protagonists that go on chapters-long rants about their special interests? You want gay characters that are important to the plot too? Then I've got the book for you! The author is gay!!! American Psycho, by Bret Easton Ellis, is

there's something incestuous about seasoning tofu with soy sauce

crazy that soy can be turned into both flavorless texture and textureless flavor. maybe we should try just keeping both?

personally think i should be lusted after at all hours but what do i know