dr metamorphosis

don't go into marine biology my dad was a marine biologist and he got eaten by an imitation crab

If you become friends with someone they might offer you shelter or sources of protein

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

i need to kiss a boy .

never let the fact that you were born a girl stop you from being the gayest man alive

“I don’t put politics in my stories” is the literary equivalent of a cishet guy going “I don’t have pronouns”

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to touch the hot stove with my bare hands. But now I get to do it whenever I want

they hate me because the years of memory loss has purified my mind