Loyal To The Blood|| Damian Wayne × Male reader
Summary: You were created as a servant of the League to protect Damian. Your bond is severed after Damian takes over as Robin. On a disastrous mission, you are forced to deal with the emotional conflicts that the loss of the boy has had and deal with the fact that he now stands before you after years.
Warnings: Angst, Homosexual angst, Abandonment, Comfort, Recommendation: Once More to see you-Mitski
In an honorable oath in your childhood, you knelt before the one you recognized as God and pledged allegiance to the future Heir of the League of Assassins. You would die and kill for Damian, for the heir to the League of Assassins empire.
Faced with all the current circumstances, that seemed like a lie, but it wasn't, you and Damian knew that. Damian knew that over your oath, childish though it was, there was a veil of love.
There was only one problem, in your oath you swore to be true to Damian Al Ghul, not Damian Wayne, you would protect and serve the future leader of the League of Assassins, not Robin and it hurt to admit that no amount of love you felt for Damian could detract from your eternal bond with the League, your responsibility, your ideals, your upbringing, you could be true to Damian's blood as you promised to do, but only if he was with the League and he wasn't, not anymore.
The last time you saw each other was before Damian left. You looked at him in an anguished way, but you still tried to look serious and indifferent, like everyone else in that room, but Damian knew you, he identified the pain in your eyes, because he had spent nights staring at them.
That night you stretched out your hand towards Damian with the sole intention of fixing your armor, you were one of the few in the room authorized to approach him, and when your hand was already moving away, Damian grabbed your forearm and promised to come back, he would have liked to say "come back to you", but there were too many people present for that kind of interaction, you didn't answer him, just looked him in the eye quickly. Damian would like to know what you meant by that. Damian would have liked to know that it would be the last time in a long time.
You never believed that the boy would come back, not when he had the world in store for him, not when you knew of his eternal admiration for his father, not when Talia explained the reason for his departure. He wouldn't come back, your love wasn't strong enough to overcome Damian's reasons for staying out of the League, but it was strong enough for him to regularly think of you, for you to regularly think of him, but not for him to come back.
You both lived your lives in parallel, while Damian learned not to kill, you perfected your techniques, while Damian opened up to his new reality, you closed yourself off to survive yours, while Damian received his Robin title, you took over his old position in the League, you were on opposite sides every time.
You were sure that Damian had forgotten you, but you never could, not when you were carrying his position in the League. You felt it as a curse, as if you were cursed to never forget Damian, not when you looked at his armor and saw one similar to his old armor, not when you commanded the men he commanded, not when Talia looked at you remembering how he looked at you with the same green eyes, not when you still lived for him. You were cursed for loving Damian.
Your work in the League had never been easy, there was no way that murdering people and conquering territories could be, but lately they had been made more difficult by a vigilante, the whole thing was being extremely stressful for the League and for you, headquarters being knocked down, assassins hunted, it was all falling on you, the responsibility of sorting it out, sorting it all out, the constant demands of your superiors, along with your responsibility to your soldiers.
The vigilante taking your peace was Red Robin, you knew Ra's Al Ghul wanted to recruit him, he had proven his competence while taking down men from the League, but you weren't willing to negotiate with someone who had done so much destruction to your legacy. When the execution order arrived, you felt relieved, you knew that he had taken out the patience of the head of the League and now you could kill him.
You'd been sent to Gotham City, this wasn't going to be as quick a mission as you'd have liked, apparently the vigilante had enough training to require prior preparation before the attack, you knew you had to attack him in public, when he wasn't hiding his identity, that would reduce your chance of reaction and defense.
You were dispelling all your fears, this was Batman's city, which meant it was Damian's city. You were aware of Tim and Damian's connection, at that moment there were few things you didn't know about Tim, but that didn't matter, at least that's what you repeated to yourself. According to your superiors, you wouldn't even have to find Damian, the orders were clear to avoid members of Tim's family.
You were standing in front of Wayne Industries, an eye-catching building surrounded by people, the perfect setting. You weren't wearing anything to hide your identity, in the League it wasn't necessary. You waited patiently, it wasn't long before the vigilante left the building, you held the dagger firmly in your hands at your side, so as not to attract undue attention, letting out a shaky sigh, death never stopped scaring you, it's always like the first time, no matter how much skill you acquire.
When Tim left Wayne Industries, you started to take your first steps towards him, but your body froze as you met emerald eyes right behind him, Damian was here, your breathing stopped and the grip on the melee weapon loosened, you still tried to take another step forward, but your body threw itself back following what you really wanted to do, despair flooded your chest and that mission already seemed to have failed. You moved away, trying to blend into the crowd so as not to be spotted, hoping he hadn't seen you, but you knew he had, that was Damian.
It was impossible for Damian not to recognize you, you looked different, but the same. Even in a crowd of thousands of people, he would still find you. He watched your desperate escape and didn't move, the boy stood still, absorbed by your presence and the doubt, what were you doing here? Tim noticed his brother's delay after a few steps, calling his name without reply "Damian, we have to go, now" Tim was too tired to look what Damian was looking at and too late to care, he sighed impatiently and then Damian's attention returned, he was frowning in confusion as he looked at the ground in front of him. Tim was about to give up on Damian when the boy stepped in front of him and into the car. "Let's go, Drake," the older man squeaked, but decided not to fight it and got into the car.
That very day, you left Gotham, you would find another way to kill Tim, but it couldn't be there, not with Damian there. You returned to the League, you didn't explain anything to your superiors and you didn't even notify them of your arrival. Days passed after the meeting, you tried to deafen Damian from your thoughts, but it was impossible. The boy's ghost plagued every part of your mind. You had locked yourself in your room for days, asking your servants for privacy and discretion. You needed to be alone.
You didn't believe that Damian would follow you between continents, not even when you saw him standing at the foot of your bed did you believe it, believing that it was your mind playing tricks on you, perhaps your thoughts of him had become so frequent that they were hallucinations, but it wasn't, he really was there. You sat on the bed, staring at him. Your servants had disrespected the order to leave you alone by letting him in. You had forgotten that his power over the League superseded yours, even after years of being away.
You weren't sure what to do, your face was serious, trying not to let any emotion show, your eyes examined every part of Damian. His eyes were fixed on your face. Damian was looking for the differences that the years had brought you, even though he knew they were all over your body, new scars, new face, new hair style. He was trying to capture your new features, everything of you that he had lost. He found some kind of comfort in realizing that your eyes remained the same, still unable to hide any emotion.
"You need to improve your vigilance." It didn't surprise you that the first word he spoke to you was a scolding, just like when you were children, back then, that was his way of caring for you. "I will" was all you managed to say in the presence of the situation "I know", after which you stood in silence for a few minutes while you looked at each other, and on a quick impulse you got up from the bed, turning your back on Damian. You knew that, at that moment, he was looking at the many scars on your back.
You looked around your room for a shirt and then turned to him. "What are you doing here?" Damian didn't know exactly what to say, he wasn't even sure why he had come to see you, it just seemed right. Perhaps this was an attempt to fulfill the promise he had made, but it seemed too late for that to be the reason.
"Heir Al Ghul," you said after noticing the delay in the boy's response. Damian narrowed his eyes at the new way you addressed him, you didn't call him that, not when it was just the two of you, that was the way the League's servants called him, not you, you were allowed to call him Damian or whatever you wanted, all those years apart made you believe that was it for him, a servant of the League?
"I'm not the Al Ghul heir" he chose not to mention your new behavior "Then why do you dress like one?" You were quick to answer, since he was wearing armor like yours. The emerald eyes widened, he wasn't an assassin, not anymore.
"I'm not part of the League" The statement was capable of infuriating you, not for the intended reasons, but because that was supposed to be you, you wanted to leave the League, not Damian. You were only fighting that war because Damian wasn't there to fight it.
"Should I warn the men outside this room of that fact?" Your voice sounded cold and distant and at that moment it was the first time Damian wasn't able to recognize you. He wondered how much of that boy standing in front of him was the one he knew, he was still the same one he loved, he still seemed wrong, but now for other reasons, maybe because you were a murderer, maybe because your integrity was tarnished, maybe because Damian had abandoned you.
"I just wanted to see you," he admitted softly. The lack of arrogance in his voice surprised you, but his greatness still made you feel small, still wanted to make you fight, wanted to make you question "why did you leave me?" "Why did I have to take on all your responsibilities?" "Why did you come back?".
"Are you happy?" It was the question you chose to ask him, because in a promise you had made to him, one you didn't even remember, made in a hidden room at the League, away from all the harsh and judgmental eyes, while Damian cried on your shoulder (a rare occurrence, but one that you, only you could contemplate) you promised Damian that he would find happiness and you hope he has.
"A lot of the time," was his quick reply. "I wish you could enjoy these moments with me." When those words came out of Wayne's mouth, it was as if he had found you in those eyes and stopped looking for his former beloved.
You would have liked to say something out loud, but your childishness still resonated louder, even after so many changes your feelings still had to cling to his sincere gaze that would never lie when he said he loved Damian and despite the fear that the hatred outlined in your scars and war marks would hide that feeling from Damian, you hoped that his sharp gaze would still capture you.
Your love was always implicit, having to survive in the small gaps that the world had left you, no touches or declarations, what you were left with was excessive protection and glances. You wonder how children like you, raised in the midst of so much hatred and war, learned to love each other and now, even on opposite sides, you still loved Damian.
"Would you come with me?"
This is a very long fanfiction (2,178 words / 11,833 characters) that took a lot of dedication and love from me, I hope that someone likes it as much as I do, thank you for reading it.
