Okay I need to talk about Simon characterization a little bit. Because he is so so hard to write exactly correctly and as someone who reads a LOT of bloodmary... I have many thoughts.
You gotta understand that Simon is both A Mass Murderer who was raised in and thrived in a violent cult AND someone who hopes so desperately for a better world, who wants to change, and has never had a gentle touch in his life and wants it so bad without being able to put to words that's what he wants.
I feel like I'm going insane.
Because on one end people focus waaaayyyy to much on his anger. They make him an asshole for no reason who never opens up ever and always makes things more complicated. Like... you guys he was crying for at least half of the movie. Obviously he's not going to open up instantly but please that man had to have been repressing SO MANY emotions.
So many things there was never a chance to express because you cannot convince me that Eden did not have so much toxic masculinity with allllll of that biblical imagery. And when Simon finally had a chance to relax, the moment he realizes that Grace is a Safe Person, those emotions are coming out whether he likes it or not. It's too much to keep in ALL the time and we already know when he's having a Bad Time, he cries.
And on the other end... guys they are NOT going to be good communicators immediately, Simon has never had any therapy ever in his life and again. The raised in a violent cult thing. The only reason that Simon was able to survive in his world at all is because he adapted soooo well to the violence. He's angry, he throws shit around and swears like a sailor, he REFUSES to go down without a fight. In any fight or flight situation, his instinct is always going to be fight. He's not going to know how to properly comfort, at least not right away.
The only thing he knows is how to fight, to bare your teeth and puff yourself up. What do you even do when the monster is in your head? When Grace is having nightmares and there's nothing Simon can fight to fix that?
It will take a looooong time for Simon to even believe this is real, to think that for once there's nothing to fight, nothing to defend against, no battle to win. All that anger still in him that now has no place to go. It's going to come out somehow, and even if he has on some surface level acknowledged that Eden was wrong (we see in the movie he rejects both the COI's and Eden's philosophy in some way), detangling all of that trauma is going to be a lot of work. See when he's arguing with Ava, even when he disagrees with Eden's philosophy, he still falls back on their reasoning out of habit ("At least they're not deluding themselves with some biiiggg future for humanity if we all just believe hard enough") Yes he was the one to stand against them once he started to "grow a conscience" and yes, he still carries over a lot of those violent tendencies from y'know. The ENTIRETY of his life?
I feel like I yapped way too much but just. I have so many thoughts. This isn't directed at any one fic or person in particular, it's just something that's been on my mind a bit.
Feel free to yap with me on the comments! Am I onto something or going crazy for no reason?
(Also feel free to leave fic recs that you think do this particularly well in the comments, I love bloodymary but I fw any version of Simon lives fics give them to me please please please-)














