For context: this came out in 2011 in Australia. Same-sex marriage would not be legalized until December 2017.
It was only legalized in 8 US states (the 8th only a few months before), and wouldn’t be legalized nation-wide until 2015.
It was only legal in TEN COUNTRIES in 2011. We wouldn’t hit 20 countries until 2017. (Australia was 23rd)
As of today (April 14, 2026), I believe only 38 countries have fully legalized same-sex marriage. Out of somewhere around 200 countries in the world. That’s only ~19% of countries.
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Sorry, I am spiraling a bit, but I actually think we haven’t said enough about Ilya here. I know we focus on Shane because he’s experiencing first time anal, but Ilya is clearly on another planet.
Like he’s slack-jawed and staring like he can’t believe what’s happening. Yes, Shane pulls him in for a kiss, but he was going down anyway. I just keep thinking about how throughout this whole scene Ilya looks seconds away from just completely falling into Shane. Also, this face?? The way he just rolls his forehead against Shane’s?? He’s totally overcome by what he’s experiencing.
Anyway, justice for Ilya having his mind blown by Shane Hollander.
I hate cigarettes so much I hate that smoking is becoming cool again I hate that we're becoming contrarian hipsters about this disgusting habit that has literally killed so many people and destroyed so many lives I'm so serious we need to become absolute killjoys about this again it's time to go 90s scolds on cigarettes until the scourge is wiped out entirely.
let’s talk about how they made it impossible to function without a phone and digitalised everything and then turned around and went “actually! these phone things aren’t safe for kids but it’s magically ok once you’re eighteen. guess you’ll have to have your life dictated by your parents now lol cause we’re gonna take the devices away from you. IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING”
ok my apologies. take away my ability to buy anything too ig because these fuckass stores don’t accept cash anymore. take away my ability to communicate with people outside my house and school because I can’t text and I can’t email and I cant drive to them either and I can’t even fucking get public transport without a phone either. can’t order at a fucking restaurant without being asked to get a membership and install an app and also very sorry but you can only order through our online menu now! have you ever considered that it’s not just about instagram?
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Ilya has always enjoyed baiting other teams into penalties. In fact, it's one of his favourite things about hockey. He's made it into a fucking art form. He has a long mental list of exactly what gets under other players' skin and relishes finding new and creative ways to frame their petty insecurities or asshole nature (crucially, he is not airing people's trauma, he's chirping them about their receding hairline and DUI). But after Shane joins the Centaurs, he starts going fucking wild with it. People thought he was bad before? Just you fucking wait. When the reward for getting a penalty out of someone else is that he finally gets to share the ice with his husband??? Oh, shit's about to go down.
Wiebe would love to be able to claim this had been a deliberate strategy when he decided to put Shane and Ilya on separate lines but have them go out as a unit on the power play but that's simply not true. It was just an unexpected but fortunate byproduct of that.
This does mean Ottawa has an abnormally high number of penalties against them when compared to other teams. All because Ilya Rozanov loves nothing more than getting to play hockey with his husband and is incredibly sly with it, mostly managing to avoid getting pegged as the instigator.
schwöre die Aktivität an diesem Post ist wie so ein Merz-Bullshit-Seismograph. Immer wenn der wieder Notes bekommt weiß ich dass er was Dummes von sich gegeben hat
The longest ongoing argument between Shane and Ilya is who made the first move. Their friends and teammates have learned to never ask that question or they'll argue about it for hours.
"So, how did you two meet?" That was fine, safe territory.
They both answered the same way, "a parking lot in Saskatchewan when we were 17."
But, the question, "so who made the first move?" Unsafe territory, turn back now.
"You introduced yourself to me!"
"That wasn't making a move! You organized a whole photoshoot."
"You shook my hand, twice! You looked me up and down!"
"I did not!"
"You had a crush on me."
"You had a crush on me!"
"You called me a hot player to watch."
"I did not and you know that, Rozanov."
"My English wasn't good."
"You - okay, draft night?"
"What about it? Oh, when you kept staring at my cock?"
"No! When you kept touching my hand and had your legs all spread in front of me!"
"You were staring at me."
"You winked at me."
"You took water bottle."
"Because you told me to!"
"Well, you were blushing on photoshoot."
"You called me pretty, twice!"
"You were laughing!"
"So were you!"
"Because you kept looking at me like - like that!"
"You told me you organized the shoot!"
"You agreed to it! You wanted to see me again."
"You starting jerking off at me in the shower!"
"Only because you were checking out my ass!"
"I was not!"
"Yes, you were! I would not do that if you were not checking me out!"
"You asked for my room number!"
"You waited for me to come out of the shower - I gave you time to leave!"
"I was drying my hair."
"You were waiting for me."
"I was not, I just wanted to talk!"
"Talk! You wanted to talk to hot Russian you invited to your room at night?"
Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.
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I have a headcanon that for a birthday or a Christmas or something Shane gives Ilya the title to the cottage which is now in both of their names so that it's officially THEIR cottage and THEIR special place and obviously they both have thought about it like that since their marriage (or before) but this is official documentation and Ilya tries very hard not to cry while also saying something like, "of course you give me boring real estate paperwork as a gift Hollander"
They’re going through Yuna and David’s movie collection when Ilya comes across a VHS with ‘Shane - Bell Center 1994’ written on the sleeve and insists they watch it.
Shane isn’t super into the idea. “My parents don’t have a VHS player.”
“Is literally right beside your knee, Hollander.”
“Well, it’s boring! Why do you want to see a dumb recording of me as a kid anyway?”
“Because it’s adorable?” Ilya says incredulously. “And you are adorable?”
“Oh, I forgot we had that!” Yuna exclaims, coming to sit on the couch with her glass of wine. “God, I miss those days. Shane was the cutest timbit.”
Timbit, Ilya mouths to himself, his fingers curling around the tape. This is Shane as a timbit? In all his tiny little hockey gear at the Bell Center? Ilya needs to see it. “Shane.”
Shane looks at him and sighs.
They put the tape in.
Ilya almost dies as the grainy screen resolves itself into an MC and a tiny Shane, dressed in his hockey gear. His helmet is crooked on his head, his stick tap tap tapping against it as he stares at the interviewer, determined. His cheeks are big and round and pink from the cold of the ice, and though Ilya cannot make out his freckles, he knows from pictures that they’re there. The MC crouches down and a packed Bell Center is visible behind them.
“And here we have number 24, Shane Hollander!” The MC says in heavily accented English. “Let’s give him a round of applause. Shane, how are you feeling tonight, are you excited to be here?”
“Um. Yes.”
“And how old are you, Shane?”
Little Shane closes his eyes for a moment, taking a big, deep breath before reciting: “My name is Shane Hollander and I’m a hockey player. I am three years old and I go to Glebe Co-operative Nursery School in Ottawa and my mommy and daddy are Yuna and David. And I’m three.”
The MC laughs a little. “That’s a great introduction, Shane, thank you. Do you have anyone here with you tonight, cheering you on in the audience?”
Shane’s eyes open, but he doesn’t break out into a toothy grin. No, instead, Shane—serious, no-nonsense Shane—nods and leans in to the microphone like he’s giving a post-game interview. “Yes, my mommy and my daddy.”
“And are they big Metros fans?”
“Yes.”
“What about you?”
“Yes, too. They’re gonna go all the way this year. They have all the pieces for a winning team.”
“That’s what we love to hear, Shane, we agree and we love the confidence. Can we expect to see you on the ice someday? Do you want to be a hockey player when you grow up?”
“Yes, I’m a hockey player.”
“Do you want to play for Montreal?”
“Yes.”
“Can we get some encouragement for the team from you, Shane? Maybe a Go Metros Go?”
This, Shane takes extremely seriously. Ilya watches him nod with all the solemnity of a general going to war, and then releases his own tiny, passionate battle cry: “Go Metros Go!”
“Shane Hollander, everyone, let’s give him another round of applause!”
Ilya watches Shane stick out his little hand and the MC laugh a little as he shakes it, before tiny Shane toddles back to his parents on his skates. The mic picks up, Mommy can I skate again nowww? before the tape stops.
Ilya is going to fucking die. He already feels as if his heart is too big for his body, his fingers pressing into his knees to keep from grabbing Shane and doing—something to him. Kissing him or hugging him or fucking. Eating him. Consuming him. Crawling inside of him.
Shane is curled up beside the couch with his hands covering his face in embarrassment and Ilya is sitting less than a meter from him, dying of retroactive cuteness.
“You were so pissed when we told you that your turn to skate was done,” Yuna murmurs fondly. “Full meltdown.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Shane mutters, shaking his head in his hands. “JP made fun of me.”
Yuna scoffs. “JP was copying his parents, because they were pissed that you were better than him. And that we were out of towners but got the interview.” She raises a brow. “And now look: you’re a professional hockey player and JP is probably working at some office back in Trois Rivières and hates his life.”
“Mom, seriously?”
“What?” Yuna asks, getting up and heading towards the kitchen. “His parents were assholes. They made an asshole. I won’t apologize for that.”
Ilya takes the opportunity to crawl closer, slinging an arm around Shane’s back. He presses one kiss, then two, then three to Shane’s cheek. “Shane,” he breathes.
“Mm?”
“You were cutest fucking tiny hockey player in the entire world.”
Ilya feels Shane’s blush against his mouth. He kisses it again. “Fuck off,” Shane mutters, cuddling into him. He turns to press a soft, barely there kind of kiss to the corner of Ilya’s lips, burying his pink, hot face into his neck. “I was too serious. They called me a robot and did that stupid dance at me.”
“Well, they’re idiots. Hockey is serious, so you are serious, and they were probably ugly.”
“Ilya,” Shane laughs. Ilya feels his huffed breath in the juncture of his own neck and grins, thumb moving up to caress the small hairs at his nape.
They’re still too far away.
Ilya shifts, immediately attacking Shane’s face with kisses the minute he becomes visible. Shane laughs, shrieks, says stop even as he pulls Ilya closer, until they’ve toppled over onto the carpet.
Shane pulls back to look him in the eye, chewing his lip. “I think my parents still have some camcorder home videos of me.”
I know a lot of Canadian hockey boys and if there is one (1) thing I know about Canadian hockey boys is that they have an indoor basement rink. Realistically, it was probably at his parents' main house (which I believe they sold?), but let's consider it's at their cottage.
Yuna and David are doing something (cooking dinner, out to the store, etc.) and Shane is giving Ilya the tour. An actual tour this time because they are at his parent's house.
Once Ilya sees the little practice rink, he lights up. The walls are splashed with Shane's youth trophies - snowplow sam badges in a case, tiny little baby skates, power-skating ribbons, pictures from his first tournaments, team jerseys from U8-16, his first hockey stick hanging on the wall, his first game winning puck on a shelf, his first tiny jersey. Ilya takes his time to comment on everything.
Then Ilya grabs a stick from the wall (one of the practice ones) and a puck from the bucket that hasn't been touched in a decade. Shane, never one to back down from a challenge, especially on home turf, grabs his own practice stick. There are no skates that fit either of them, so they just step on the synthetic ice with socks on.
And that's how Yuna and David find them, checking each other into the flimsy boards that are not meant for fully grown hockey players, firing shots into the little nets with enough force to knock them over, cursing at each other like there's a ref around to do something about it, etc.
Yuna can't believe she ever thought Shane would let Ilya win anything.
myilya got cancelled because at age 19 he genuinely mixed up the english words “forgot” and “f*ggot” by accident, because they sounded too similar to him, and a clip got posted of him holding up cliff’s forgotten water bottle and yelling across the rink “MARLY YOU F*GGOT!”
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