well hello there

whatever.

i dont caaaaaare

google search how to make someone explode

(guy who has forgotten the words "public domain"") mikey mouse is free use

“you’re allowed to relax, you know” unfortunately i cannot do that. Otherwise they will get me

give me another amulet im not driving

once you start saying yippee you can never go back

slime monster obama: my jello americans

i've never played Luigi's Mansion but i'm assuming at the end of the game when all the characters are like "thank you for vacuuming up all the ghosts and saving us" he goes "don't Luigi's mention it"

i think theres this idea in the general public that the "best" fanfic gets turned into real books like 50 shades of grey. but the truth is that the best fanfic can never be published as an actual book because its intricately woven into the canon material so its inseparable even if you change the names

wearing a shirt that says “even in an au fanfiction, the characters, relationships, or even the scenarios are recognizable in the best fanfic, and an au without ties to the source material may be a fine story but it’s not a good fanfiction” and booty shorts that say “I HATE FUN”

florence welch was right. it picks me up puts me down chews me up spits me out a hundred times a day picks me up puts me down i'm always running from something i push it back but it keeps on coming and being clever never got me very far

starting the next phone call with “Do you remember July 24th 2007 at 3:07pm when I confided in you I had washed my hands with lotion instead of soap and you told me they were both the same thing? Is that something you still believe?”

Velociraptors are scary but really they aren't that scary because they can't change speed. They always move at exactly the same rate, so they're predictable and you can avoid them. The real one to look out for is the acceleraptor

i had a dream last night that i was scrolling tiktok and dan and phil came up and they were talking about how they actually had a third and they started introducing said third with vague info but with every fact i started realizing with dawning horror that they were describing my fucking dad

Hmmm

petplay except i have rabies so you have to euthanize me