VIXI·RISI·AMAVI

if you've ever applied for a job you deserve 50 million dollars in financial compensation

Glados learning sign language so Chell can hear at least one of her excellent monologues and Chell just closes her eyes

that’s why partridges are traditionally found in pear trees

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

does singing in the shower count as art

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

BREAKING: Trump Has Allegedly Signed The White-Gold Concordat And Is In League With The Thalmor 😳🚨

i'm sorry mr beast and his what now

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them

this post is classic tumblr in a lot of ways but the one I appreciate the most is that the second post happened eleven years after the first one. one of these days I’m going to see a reply to a post by someone younger than the post itself and we’re all just going to have to deal with it

this post contains stars!

Did they let the fucking guy out

every now and then i am reminded of nintendo's official solution to the wii u pro controller not having gyro controls and it never fails to send me into hysterics

For clarity, when I said "don't push yourself", I didn't mean "don't ever test your physical and emotional limits"; I just meant maybe the Costco parking lot is not the place to conduct that particular experiment.

You think I'm just memeing here, but the Costco parking lot is in fact the perfect place to meet people who feel strongly that the only way to prove their manhood is to attempt to do The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift moves with a shopping cart containing two hundred kilos of Diet Coke.

Translator? Why not trans now?

My parents just read this post aloud to me and asked me if I’d seen it. I don’t know how to react.