namarie, motherfucker

he cries before sex, he cries after sex, but never during sex. during sex he has a fucking job to do

you’d look so good losing an argument to me

anyway. last night I had a dream that my local lesbian bar was hosting a “motionless dance party”. it was sort of like the inverse of a silent disco—the music is playing out loud but you’re doing all the dancing inside your own head. it was really successful like a lot of lesbians showed up to stand perfectly still in a room together and imagine what dancing would be like.

OKAY i've read all 162 one-star review of the aeneid on goodreads. can i show you my favourite?

Official Post of Massachusetts

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

In every way this is set up to be a joke like any other short video, it even uses the trope of main character in a wig to represent their mom, but it isn't funny at all. It's just sweet and nice

Reading about an arsenic murder case in which probably a daughter killed her mom with poisoned clam chowder but she was acquitted because the defense were like “can you prove that ANYONE wouldn’t die after eating takeout clam chowder delivered by children in August? In 1896?” and the jury were like no yeah fair point I too have had clam chowder stomach

We need a sea mine emoji. And one of it exploding. And one of a wretched skeletal hand reaching up from the deep. Searching for an ankle to grab to drag you down below the sunlight. And one of air bubbles escaping your mouth as the water pressure squeezes in and drives the air from your lungs. And one of a mermaid but her boobs are out.

it sucks that the overwhelming majority of medical messaging around salt/sodium is "evil poisonous substance that you're definitely already eating way too much of," because like. you do still need it. (trust me, as a POTS-haver, I've had to completely rewire my own brain about salt.) and you need more salt when the entire northern hemisphere is hot enough to fry an egg on. ever tried sucking down the recommended 64oz of hydration per day entirely as water, only to find you're peeing constantly without any of the purported benefits of being "hydrated"? assuming you don't have another medical condition that causes frequent urination, your body probably needed more salt/electrolytes to be able to hold onto that water and make use of it. if there was ever a time to keep a sports drink/pedialyte/etc within constant reach, it's when the heat index is 110°F/43°C.