born again heathen

*guy who hasn't eaten lunch voice* been really into the idea of picking a direction and running as fast as I can in a straight line until I collapse and die

“The cause of the duel is reputed to be an argument over arrangements for the Vienna Musical and Theatrical Exhibition.” - I like these ladies.

Need to move to L.A. so i can get vivisected by a bitch w a bookstore mullet for fun and profit

Moving to Philly to get a full soldering iron branding backpiece from a chris-fleming-built bitch running a kava bar

Need to move to Maine to get abducted by a pair of 30something dykes living in a converted schoolbus [ who serve as the Platonic form that the realtree-wearing graphic designer dirtbros are trying to emulate ] to get yoked to a plough sexualstyle

Moving to PDX so I can ask where the nice young lady with less-than-perfect posture sourced her ketamine autoinjector before it ends up in my neck

Moving to Brooklyn to get flogged by a dog

Gotta move to Denver so a GenX neopagan woman can split my tongue semiconsensually but with more-than-agreeable-results during an impromptu mescaline ritual

Need to move to Langley to tango with off-duty CIA interrogation specialists and put VivoKeys in eachothers' hands

Moving to Pittsburgh so a motordyke disrocker can give me a self-cauterizing nasallang with a propane-torched-red-hot safety pin

Moving to Chicago for good ol' leatherdyke sodomy. Maybe a tattoo with no gloves, malort for sterilization.

Moving to Toronto for vigorous and non-hetero but ultimately relatively vanilla sex with someone who still wears Chucks in 2k24, quote, "in the hipster way,"

Moving to Minneapolis in order to be goaded into engaging with a concept I don't fully grasp but which is referred to as "Fargoplay" ?

Moving to Atlanta to have a cunty english major with utilitarian tastes rest the muzzle of a CZ P10C on my lower incisors [again, sexualstyle,]

Moving to Connecticut to have something genuinely unethical and slightly traumatic but nevertheless incredibly arousing happen at the hands of a bisexual third-generation Yale grad student and end up walking away with a worrying amount of hushmoney. Also to give roadhead on the Merritt parkway.

Moving to Seattle to be bound by my wrists and watch a broad shouldered woman forge a brand before it’s planted solidly in my leg.

No, you move to Seattle to be disappointed.

Also, I can verify secondhand that the branding's already going on in PDX; they say it does smell like pork. They got you beat, bud.

If I'm elected as your president in 2028 I promise to bring back the Western Interior Seaway.

*through clenched teeth* All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well

HOW MANY??

@todaysbird

Girl…those are not all your children. You need to stop taking those things.

Goslings Georg

I’m very impressed by your counting, well done!