[insert wit I don't have]

interesting post but it fails to mention any of my favorite colors, biomes, or chemicals so i will not be liking or reblogging it at this time. looking forward to the revised edition

sorry yeah, you're actually not allowed in the grocery store anymore. yeah, everyone thought it was super weird when you were rummaging in your wallet for your debit card and it was making everyone super uncomfortable and taking a long time. sorry

another run through the washer will fix me

girl i shrunk

i absolutely hate when things decay and i know its so childish of me but i cant stand when things wear out. whyyyyyyyyyy just stay forever

You gotta get into alchemy I’m telling you

nothing more disappointing than a shower with low water pressure. i don't want to feel like a wet sad beast left out in the rain i want to be power washed.

If Starbucks was for dogs, it would be called Starbarks. Or Starruffs. I haven't decided, as I am very ill at the moment

They would serve dog coffees like puppacinos, or barkiattos.I really cannot tell you which because my stomach has been twisting in pain due to this undetermined disease

Babygirl you are preventing me from fast traveling

🧍 oh shit is that's a cheese 🚶

got my first compound fracture at Golden Corral

Went to Pizza Hut and they shot me with arrows

upon visiting my local Waffle House I was hit with an anvil

starting to think I’m the problem …

no piendish. keep piending. if the world dosent like that that is theyre mistake.

maybe you’re right. I’m gonna go to Carl’s Jr’ and . See what they got for me there

Bullets.

sorry i’m not howl movingcastle. sorry i can’t be him

a creature can be a girl. …..And! as well, a girl can be a creature

kafkaesque

Netflix posted cringe and lost subscriber