Please, Don't Expect Much

people don’t enjoy shipping anymore. the point of shipping isn’t the catharsis of watching them kiss onscreen, it’s grabbing the characters and mashing their faces together like you’re five years old playing Barbie in your room again. it’s to take one moment of eye contact in canon and read that over and over and over again with twenty different writers’ interpretations of the characters internal monologues if they were in love. it’s to see the characters interact and cheer because you know that’s another moment to add to your list of canon compliant fic ideas. you’re stressing yourself out, this is supposed to be fun!

Official ominous sign (apparently translates to "Sorry", in a sincere way)

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THEM

As a queer phannie for 10 years at this point, hearing Phil talk about how Shane and Ilya still weren’t safe to be affectionate in the empty stairwell of Shane’s own building because someone could hack into the cctv footage made me actually feel physically ill bc oh my god

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

i love dan and phil because they're more than boyfriends but also they haven't labelled it and they're in a situationship. how dare the builders call them boyfriends have they not earned partner status. they share a bed but have separate bedrooms. if they go too far apart the universe would rip in half but the best quality time is when they're gaming in separate areas of the house. propose on hard launch and you will be hit with the phan curse of staying together forever in marriage. no they're not married. they are a ranch metaphor and two 4,000-year-old tortoises and put on this earth to be together. no they would not share a toothbrush that's disgusting. but yes, they are like actual soulmates.

new phannies you NEED to play interactive christmas adventure RIGHT NOW. install this extension and click all the silly links in this video right now. i am offering you 2009 CONTENT YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE. THE MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE ON PLANET EARTH. THESE VIDEOS HAVE BEEN PRIVATE FOR YEARS BUT DNP LOVE US UNFATHOMABLY MUCH

choking a girl's dick is known to improve mental health btw

Actually, there is a lot of intimacy in someone who lets you spill every single incoherent thought you have throughout the day to them. And to hear theirs. To be the person they think of to send a random photo to in the middle of the day. To be the person they don’t filter their weirdness with. To be the person you begin to make inside jokes with. There is intimacy in that. There is love in that. There is beauty in that.