It’s literally like…… help!! lol. help me!!!! haha.

tuna melt but when they’re on the couch and Ilya pulls Shane’s head to rest on his chest Shane actually falls asleep and after a few minutes Ilya’s like huh he’s kind of quiet why isn’t he touching my dick yet fuck I really wanted him to touch my dick maybe tuna was bad and he’s internally panicking because uh oh sleepover failed Shane does not like tuna and will not touch my dick but he looks over and Shane is just. Snoring. Ever so softly, face nuzzled into Ilya’s neck, hand limp on his thigh and Ilya literally melts into a puddle because he just fucked Shane Hollander and then they slept in his bed in his home together and then they woke up and Ilya made him lunch and now Shane is just snuggled up against him, conked the fuck out. And Ilya is going to die. He moves to get more comfortable, hand bracing the back of Shane’s neck, moving carefully so not to wake him, so they’re now horizontal on the couch, legs tangled together, Shane’s head on Ilya’s chest, Ilya’s hand carding softly through his hair and Ilya, heart beating so loud he worries it will wake Hollander up just whispers “Shane” and there’s a few moments of silence and just as Ilya himself starts to drift off Shane’s face crinkles as he sighs and tries to bury himself deeper into Ilya’s chest; snuggling closer, just murmurs sleepily, “Ilya.” And oh Ilya Rozanov is definitely dead now. He died perished deceased and this is heaven

to me shane does have a letterboxd because he would get a kick out of gamifying the only casual hobby he has. tracking and rating movies makes him feel like he's optimizing time he's technically wasting on flights. he would have the pro tier too. i don't care. he's a millionaire.

"i just don't like masculine women" literally i'm so sorry for you loss. i hope you get well soon

i have to feel weird and unsure of everything forever #thecurse

my favorite hobbies are called eat snack, snuggle in bed, and read book

No one is doing it like Ilya Rozanov. He’s in a gladiator costume. He sent the rookies home from his party because he’s depressed. His boyfriend drove two hours with a butt plug in because Ilya looks hot in that gladiator costume and Hayden Pike called him a prude and that bothers him. Shane said I’m a freak and I need my boyfriend to know that, but Ilya can’t stop crying thinking about Shane. Ilya is looking down at his plugged up boyfriend giving him a bj under the gladiator skirt and he’s got tears in his eyes. He’s alarmed by the tears in his eyes and responds by fucking Shane nearly upside down on the couch like an inversion table. He’s doing fine. Maybe he should think about therapy.

Sometimes people say that Ilya’s characterization changes dramatically from HR to TLG but I think it’s more like the “expectation / reality” frame from 50 Days of Summer. We spend most of HR in Shane’s head perceiving Ilya as the coolest hottest man alive and the minute we hop into Ilya’s head it’s like oh. Oh no this man is sticking a fork into his toaster

Ilya heard you must feel that you are abandoned by god to be a good top and said ah well yes and then never thought any deeper about it

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry for romanticising the mundane. i have little else