I’m having Big Dick Ilya thoughts again…Ilya’s dick being big enough that it’s actually low key intimidating for his sexual partners. Like jaws are dropping when he whips it out. One night stands are noping out when they make it back to his place and they see him fully hard. People are struggling to get even a third of the length into their mouths when blowing him. Ilya gets used to having to gently coach his partners through penetrative sex (‘don’t worry it will fit’) because it’s scary, even to those who are experienced at such things. He learns to control himself very carefully, holding back, gets used to generally having sex where at most like only half of his dick is getting stimulation unless he’s getting a hand around himself.
And it’s like, fine. Truly, it is. And hey, penetration isn’t everything, he doesn’t mind a helping hand instead, or even getting himself off after he’s used his hands or his mouth on his partner(s). He gets off on giving other people pleasure too, so it’s not like it’s completely unsatisfying for him. All of this stuff is part of being a good Top, Ilya likes putting people at ease and he genuinely understands that his dick is Just That Big™️ that he’s never gonna have sex where he doesn’t think about these things. It probably makes him a better lover, because he has to think about logistics more than a more average sized penis haver has to.
And of course, his big dick definitely doesn’t start to become a metaphor for how he thinks of himself or anything. That would be crazy. It’s just that, you know, it’s this thing that he can’t change, that on the surface seems exciting and enticing to people, something to brag about in locker rooms, this symbol of ultimate masculinity that makes every man around him seethe in jealousy and draws people to his bed with whispers of his pornstar proportions. This thing that, in private, well it’s just another thing that’s Too Much™️ about Ilya. He’s too greedy, he’s too selfish, he’s too needy, and to top it all off his cock is too big too. No one can handle all of him, not even in a purely physical relationship where he’s suppressing all his emotional needs. And he tells himself (in a voice that’s suspiciously not his own) ‘you expect too much Ilyusha, always wanting more, aren’t you? Never satisfied by what others can give you.’ and tries to content himself with the fact he always have to hold himself back.
And then enters Shane ‘bottom of all time’ Hollander. Who can take him all. Who tries his best to choke him down from their very first hook up, who won’t give up until he can deepthroat him with ease, who comes hands free his first time on Ilya’s cock, who pushes himself back to take more, more, more, who tries out other dicks and yet always dreams of taking only Ilya’s, Ilya’s, Ilya’s…
Shane Hollander who sees the mask that Ilya presents to the world and decides that no, that isn’t enough, actually, he wants to see behind it to the real man underneath. Who sees behind and says, I love you, I choose you, you are never too much for me, I love taking all of you inside of me.
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