MBTI Types

Very few of these are complimentary… sorry.

ISTJ- Bad Luck Brian

Somehow, I don’t feel this needs too much explanation… 

ISFJ- Socially Awkward Penguin

Haha, yeah this happens too often.

INFJ- First World Problems

Not quite a savior.

INTJ- Condescending Wonka

It only stings because it’s true.

ISTP-Better Drink My Own Piss

Or, maybe, you know, some of that snow all around you?

ISFP- Really High Guy

Also requires no explanation. 

INFP- Annoying Facebook Girl

*Removes from newsfeed*

INTP- Philosoraptor

So wise, yet they always end up studying engineering or something.

ESTP- Lazy College Senior

That’s the spirit!

ESFP- Ridiculously Photogenic Guy

Y’all are attractive.

ENFP- Ermahgerd

EMG

ENTP- Conspiracy Keanu 

Mind *blown*

ESTJ- Unhelpful High School Teacher

Good God we’ve all had one of these.  My fave was the one who had us watch youtube videos about algebra instead of actually teaching us algebra. 

ESFJ- Overly Attached Girlfriend

This could also apply to ISFJs.

ENFJ- Good Guy Greg

But is it all an act?

ENTJ- Successful Black Man

XNTP villains: thrive on chaos and making your life hell. Their Ne-Fe will read you like an open book, their Ti will analyze you, and the scary part is, they can revise their plans on the spur of the moment, as inspiration strikes, so nothing thwarts them since they have another six ideas to make your life miserable or society implode up their sleeve.

XNFP villains: pursue their own idealistic visions and personal desires at the cost of other people’s lives. Their Fi is warped to such an extent that it makes them only care about their personal gratification and sees others as expendable; while their Ne makes them creative, able to see multiple possibilities in any situation, and likely to be delusional. They are often motivated by their own personal pain and isolation, and take great joy in forcing you to experience similar suffering.

XSTP villains: will take you for everything you are worth. Their Se makes them thrill-seeking opportunists, their Fe makes them naturally able to both manipulate you on an emotional level and mimic genuine emotion, and their Ti makes them smart enough to avoid getting caught. Like the ENTP, they can revise their plans on the fly… but even scarier, they have Ni, which allows them to go in for a long-term evil plan with futuristic implications.

XSFP villains: are thrill-seeking sadists based entirely in the moment. Their Se makes them temper-tantrum throwing individuals driven to immediate gratification, while their evil Fi makes them immune to other people’s feelings and their Te makes them want to control, dominate, and inflict pain on other people.

XSTJ villains: are hardcore traditionalists who thrive on forcing others to surrender to their will and in establishing rules where none should exist. They will rigidly be faithful to outdated systems (religious, moralistic, cultural, or otherwise) while simultaneously repressing freedom of thought and crushing any new ideas beneath an iron shoe.

XSFJ villains: never get over anything, ever, and their mission in life is to hunt you down and make you pay for what you did to them (Si). Either that, or their mommy issues and upbringing will cause them to turn on you in a remote hotel to appease and placate what Mommy drilled into their head, even though she’s been rotting for decades (Si-Fe). But their Fe makes them so sweet that you’ll trust them until it’s too late.

XNTJ villains: have a plan for total domination that includes sacrificing a large number of innocent people along the way. They are insanely ingenious long-term strategists who can revise their plans if necessary, prone to recklessness and ruling through force by implanting their larger vision either into an existing system or creating a new system.

ESFJ- The one who gives everyone they know candy, and some extra for that special someone…. ISFJ- The one who puts two pieces of candy on everyone’s desk without a to or from, except for their crush (which only has a to, not a from). ESTJ- The one who organized the whole thing, and makes sure everyone has an equal amount of candy. A HUGE douche. ISTJ- The one who doesn’t eat any candy because “studies in the 90’s show candy rots the brain.”

ESFP- That one person who socializes with all the introverts, and thinks they like it. Ends up with 10 extra pieces of candy the introvert’s gave them to leave them alone. ISFP- Incredibly sad because a lot of people forgot she existed, and she gave everyone 4 pieces of candy! But now they are mistaken that their crush likes them back, because they didn’t forget. ESTP- That annoying guy who goes around asking for more candy from literally everyone, but doesn’t get any because no one really likes him. He loses candy because he left all he got on his desk while he walked around. ISTP- The one who made home made valentines, and insulted everyone on them with sarcastic remarks that took 30 seconds to come up with. Gets detention, and spends the whole time thinking of more insults.

ENFJ- The one who goes around and gives everyone a home made valentine, and they are full of nice compliments and candy, but they’re only doing it to become most - liked student, so they can lie whenever they want and everyone will believe them. Or not, maybe they were being nice? INFJ- Cares deeply about everyone, but only gets valentines for a few people. Writes on them really heartfelt compliments, and tells them to not do what he did, and to do what they need to, because he thinks they’ll be in trouble if they do what he did. ENFP- Buys everyone a stuffed animal! All different colors too! They’re bears, and when you unzip the head, in the stuffing is a bunch of candy. Bought their crush a life size bear stuffed with all candy you could imagine, but forgot it and left it at home. INFP- Takes all compliments to heart, yep, all 3! Not quite as forgotten as the ISFP, mainly because they get called on the teacher a lot because they stare into space and think. They gave everyone a valentine, and their crush got 3 pieces of candy, so it was obvious who they like.

Oh God, the NT’s… It’s dark down there……….

the “we do bad things but somehow never get held accountable for our actions nor do we ever get hurt but fuck do we have a good time” squad: ENTP, ESTP, ESFP

the “beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure” squad: INFJ, ENFP, INFP, INTP, ISFP 

the “fuck you Helen i never want to see you at this PTA meeting or any of my kids soccer games ever again and your brownies taste like shit anyway” squad: ESTJ, ENFJ, ISTJ

the “if i find one paper misplaced on my desk someone will die” squad: INTJ, ENTJ

the “why do i have to choose just one option when i play Fuck Marry Kill why not all three” squad: ESFP, ESTP, ENFP, ISFP 

the “thinks Journey is the best band to ever grace the stage” squad:  ISTJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, ESFP

the “wakes up in the morning wondering who to fight today” squad: ESTP, ENTP, INTJ, ENTJ

the “ Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears” squad: INFP, ESFJ, ISTP

the “*pushes up glasses* *breathes in inhaler* *adjusts bowtie* umm actually” squad: INTP, ENTJ

the “the book was so much better than the movie” squad: ISFJ, INTJ, INFP, ISFP

the “assfuck pretentious cunt dick fuckshitpissbitch jerk” squad: ENTP, ESTP, INTJ, ISTJ

the “most likely to be found guilty of murder” squad: ENFP, ESTP, ISTP

the “most likely to get away with murder” squad: ENTP, ENTJ, INTJ

the “has no friends other than this one squad” squad: INTP, ISFJ, INTJ, ENTJ

the “would genuinely enjoy dubstep remixes of yodeling” squad: ENTP, ESFJ, ESFP, INFP

the “greaser bully from an 80s coming of age movie that takes place in the 50s who carries a knife and chases the 12 year old into the forest” squad: ESTP, ISTP,

the “tumblr sjw who tells people to ‘educate themselves’” squad: ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ, ISFP

ESTJ- Laser vision

ISTJ- Invisibility

ESFJ- Empathy

ISFJ- Healing abilities for self and others

ESFP-Enhanced superhuman senses

ISFP- Shapeshifter (living things)

ESTP- Superhuman agility

ISTP- Shapeshifter (inanimate things)

ENTP- Teleportation

INTP- The ability to generate electricity

ENFP- Reality warpers

INFP- Dimension jumper

ENTJ- Mind control

INTJ- Telekinesis

ENFJ- Telepathy