Waiting a million years, just for us

what a peculiar, wretched thing love is.  visceral, gut-wrenching — so inherently humane. lee jaehoon has never desired such an earthly thing, except perhaps in a long-forgotten childhood.  what he, the deity, seeks is not love, but reverence — unwavering devotion.  the congregation before him is filled with all kinds of people — some are perfectly fashioned soldiers at the ready, others remain skeptics — but soon, soon they will believe in nix’s cause. some things need to be broken in order to be fixed. others are too pretty, too fragile to survive the pecking order: plucking the wings from a butterfly will only accelerate its eventual demise. 

i am ruin, i am rebirth. i am both the end and the beginning.  each hallowed precipice of the walls around him reflects his resplendent light.  he is seamless in his sermon, the inner workings of clockwork, the cogs all spinning in tandem without flaw, as ordained.  he is equal parts chemical-laced machine and budding god. when his speech comes to a close, he recites once over in his head :  i am ruin, i am rebirth. i am both the end and the beginning.  the crowd beams back at him, their eyes glossy and subservient, and he knows he has succeeded once more.

following his teachings, many seek him for confession, to atone or be healed, to have their minds purified and freed of whatever holds them captive. and yet the blonde is here, divulging her innermost emotions, admitting to him the one thing he cannot promise with absolute certainty — love. though eden’s confession hardly surprises him, it is as peculiar as he considers human love to be. 

❝ … you think me to be an idealist. ❞  he states matter-of-factly, steely gaze capturing hers ; james spins his words as gilded silk, brimming with tantalising promise,  ❝  i simply vowed my blessing and protection — to remain at your side.  ❞  nothing more, nothing less.   romanticism was another clause in itself, one that he’d never agreed to.  what was a god without his angels and devotees — and his most cherished one above all ? 

second position. legs apart. the must remain a hip widths apart. think of it as a long stride, a walk to an office as hallowed as the church she so claims to love. the posture must be perfect. ( perfection is achieved. it is given & achieved with an ease that accompanies pain. )

what else is expected of her?

positions three, four, five . . . eden's forgotten everything else. where her feet are to go, how to stand, how to speak anything other than her love for the man before her. a portion of giselle's longing, some of aurora's dreams ━━  she is an angel maddened for & by her love.

eden's not confessed anything unknown. it is clear in her demeanor, her need to be with him. this is nothing new. everyone knows.

 ❛ idealist , realist , does it change anything ? ━━         it's still the truth.  ❜ 

she loves him.