Doubting Annie

I knew the basics before I got it, but I had no clue…

* The blood wouldn’t necessarily be red. When I first got my period, I spent a few min looking at my underwear wondering how I shit myself. I didn’t know the blood could look brown, or be thick.

* That tampons weren’t a good idea yet. I was 10 or 11 when I got my first period and physically smaller than an adult woman. My first attempt at inserting a tampon was very painful and unsuccessful. I wouldn’t use them until I was around 14 or so.

* That when you use pads the blood can get on your bottom and I’d have to occasionally clean off the toilet seat after using it.

* That getting your first period DOES NOT mean you’re fully developed and fully able to bear children. I could have technically gotten pregnant at that age, but I was still a child and pregnancy would have put my life in danger because I was still physically immature.

* That it wouldn’t be regular for another few years.

* That very painful cramping is NOT NORMAL once you reach your 20s and is cause for concern.

* That the blood and tissue you pass can look chunky or stringy and not like blood from a cut.

* That stress can halt your period for months BUT

* That doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant

-that your period may straight up skip a month when you first get it

-and then it’ll happen twice in the same month

I can 100% guarantee you have endometriosis, PCOS, or another hormone problem. If your doctor says it’s normal, DEMAND a second opinion. 

Thinking that it’s normal is how people end up infertile or dead. It’s why so many women under 40 these days are having an almost impossible time either conceiving or preventing conception. Because no one teaches anyone that it’s the sign of trouble that can very seriously hurt you. 

Anyone who has severe cramps, heavy bleeding, or irregular periods after about 19 years old should seek medical advice. None of those are normal. 

If you have skin tags, a hard time losing weight, migraines related to your period, depression that is amplified when menstruating, severe mood swings, sleep disturbances that get worse with menstruation, or any other significant health problem that started with puberty and is worse when hormones are fluctuating you need to be checked. 

Today, someone I follow on instagram, shared a link on her story, to a google doc with a long list of resources for white people on how to educate themselves, and how to unlearn the racism we are fed from we are born.

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE DOC

I don’t have a social media link to the creator, but the bottom of the doc says “Document compiled by Sarah Sophie Flicker, Alyssa Klein in May 2020.” The doc also asks people to spread on social media, so please reblog this post, thank you.

This list includes:

Resources for white parents to raise anti-racist children

Articles to read

Videos to watch

Podcasts to subscribe to

Books to read

Movies and TV shows to watch

Organizations to follow on social media

i am not black, but i hear you.

i am not black, but i mourn with you.

i am not black, but i see the injustice that you face.

i am not black, but i see the fear for your sons and your daughters. your brothers and sisters.

i am not black, but i will stand with you.

inaction is also an action. and i will not stay silent.

i don’t see your color. i appreciate and honor your color and your roots and experiences. you are valued and respected.

Where an already endangered species is on the brink of functional extinction...

Oh, and 500 million animals unique to this country have already lost their lives, upon homes that have been destoryed and lives lost of people as well...

I mean... we're only living in a literal inferno...

415 fires. Fuck are we dying...

Oh yeah and people are just fleeing to the damn ocean, you know?

Do you want to know what Hell on Earth looks like..?

Because there it is in all it's unfiltered, firey rage...

There it is... my home from space...

This is only the beginning. Our country has not only entered a new decade, it seems a new dawning era as well, because this flaming apocalypse doesn't show any sign of stopping any time soon.

And you know what saddens me? I've never seen Australian tragedies trending here on this website. I mean it's been going on for months and only now does it seem to really be getting recognized, even if it is only at #9.

And I'm going to be honest with you here - the internet, and media in general is so American centric, this website being no exception. You'd think that an entire continent being on fire for several months with devastating consequences would have more recognition, but no, it really doesn't. The most notes I've ever seen on a post about the Australian fires is at least a few thousand, and that's about it.

‘The Crown’ S3 Royal Family: A summary.

Tag yourself, I’m –

1. Elizabeth

2. Philip

3. Anne ☑️

4. Charles

5. Margaret

chamomile: soft bed sheets and white pillowcases, pointe shoes, peach flavoured lipbalm, stays up way too late to finish books, listens to tchaikovsky, goes through life in a daze but wishes they could be fully present

green tea: autumn trees, being outdoors, misty forests and moonlight, stars peaking through window frames, kind of just wants to be left alone, kind of wants to be a faerie or a forest nymph

english breakfast: ocean waves, sunshine, kindness overflowing in their hearts, wants the world to be nice to them for once, wishes people would stop mistaking their optimism for naiveté

darjeeling: neon lights and short skirts, probably one too many vodka shots, has the same crush for seven years but never acts on it, tries very hard to be okay, always tired, probably listens to music 24/7

jasmine: colour-coded schedules, procrastination (but good grades, somehow), taking too much on at once, easily burnt out, insomnia, wishes they could take all the subjects and learn everything at once, wants to own a library

oolong: travel journals and inkstains, lacy curtains, wanderlust and a wish for adventure, an overactive imagination, getting in trouble for daydreaming in class, constantly trying to soothe their aching soul

A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.

The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.

Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types: 1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse. 2. Sabotaging birth control 3. Marital rape Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.

The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.

The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.

One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.

WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?

I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.

Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo. 

When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.

And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.

I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy. 

It’s nationalist to state facts now?

How is this toxic?

x

human freedom

x

quality of life

x

social progress 

x

income equality (america was among the worst)

x

healthcare

x x

gender equality

x