My little decoy

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

Not risking it

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

hope your pets discover immortality in 2019

Dove chocolate and Dove soap are two different companies who havent sued each other because they have different trademarks lol

Damn and I really all this time just thought dove (the soap people) had a meeting one day and were just like “…. we might fuck around and make some chocolate”

^literally what I thought

psa to fellow college instructors: it costs exactly $0 to be understanding when students are stressed as fuck at midterm time instead of saying “lol they knew it was coming tho”

I lied, this actually cost me $31 today because I bought a fuckton of coffee for all my students but you should’ve seen their faces it was like I’d given them the holy grail, the fountain of youth, and the second season of firefly all in one

If I reblog it does that mean I’m gonna have good dick to give out this summer? 🤔

Just here for the money part lmao

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

This would explain why my dog has seizures now…fucking hell

Reblog and save lives of dogs

found out purina was the reason my dog winston had been having seizures and puking. please don’t feed your dog purina.

reblog even if you don’t own a dog or even if you’re not “a dog person” because I can’t even imagine how horribly depressed I would be if this happened to my dog

My dog had kidney failure cause of purina😔

Two of my families dogs died when they switched to purina…

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

2.5 million notes I hate myself

I reblogged this twice now

I’m so sorry this isn’t b99 related and this isn’t real but I can’t not skip this I’m sorry

Not taking a fucking chance

Sorry, guys, but Im not taking a chance

No chances… She’s out… And she must be protected.

How dare you

Whatcha doin to me Farkle!

Sorry I can’t risk it

Fuck sorry guys  I love my mom

Omg I hate these things but I am paranoid. So sorry guys.

Sorry guys

sorry 😩

IM NOT RISKING IT

I did, my mom is STILL DEAD. Works.

3.3 million notes GURLLLLLL