The Most Immortal

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

on it boss

trapped in the catacombs boss

i just got shot with a puppy rifle but it didnt hurt me because im not a puppy

me i just got shot by an elephant gun but im not even an elephant so im ok

i just got shot with a 9mm handgun but i'm ok because i am taller than 9mm

hi! I'm a 9mm tall puppyphant and i'm excited to be here!

hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.

sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully

skips a stone over a few posts

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that

two meads in and i'm asking my knight if i can feel how sharp his blade is 🤦‍♂️ i'm giggling and kicking my feet too. should i ask him to press it against my neck or is that too forward

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

nope. funkytown again

come on

Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine

"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."

we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze

the only fun addition to this post

how does something like Pokemon evolve over thousands of years? once the construct of capitalism wears off, what's left of an omnipresent world-spanning franchise? personally i think it's gonna get religious. it's gonna get syncretic

I thought it could only evolve like 3 times.

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

these are the people i have to share a highway with

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

they should rewrite the bible so that jesus would be a hot 5'2 girl with a creampie fetish from missouri

every so often i will come across a macklemore lyric that just… catches me so fucking off guard