women hate how little it takes for me to be happy

it is always narratively correct to make your characters sleep together before they sort through the hundreds of lies and misdirections between them. make things worse make things worse make things worse #i love betrayal #i love lying #i love people feeling bad about themselves

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

I have GOT to stop spending $30

$30 is the new $5 but $100 is still $100 #Fucked

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

murder suicide is awesome to me bc its like annnnnd im coming with you

[taking you aside in the group masturbation vc] this place is a den of vipers... you are the only one I can trust

Welcome To My Platoon

Its Time To Meet Your Fellows Soldiers…

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

daughter (non-practicing)

sister (deadbeat)

can you put that thing on a leash?

I'm like if a missing person was literally right there

grounding tips for the stressed aspiring tyrant: acknowledge 5 people you can sway to your cause, 4 methods you can use to persuade them (2 violent, 2 nonviolent), 3 people in positions of moderate power you can manipulate and usurp in order to gain access to 2 powerful institutions to destroy, and 1 foundational lie

people are starting to character tag so i’d like to state upfront that this is part of a new branch of pop feminism i’m pioneering called despotette and as such is specifically advice for women trying to break into the world of tyranny, so if you must character tag it’s really only appropriate to do so if the character is a woman, thank you