I want to be in love

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

Well MAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

these are my parents talking to each other about me

Words of wisdom from our sage Carrie Fisher z’l

[ID: Men don’t age better than women - they’re just allowed to age. -Carrie Fisher /EndID]

what a beautiful wedding

said a bridesmaid to a waiter

yes but what a shame

the poor grooms bride is a llama

why would you censor the ops name

women would flock to him otherwise

God they are ruining my childhood

She definitely legalized same-sex marriage in Genovia

bold of you to assume it was ever illegal.

i’m sorry but if i don’t disappear mysteriously, causing an odd group of people who knew me to get together to solve my disappearance, all the while they find out they all knew wildly different versions of me and didn’t really know me at all, then what has this all been for?

Egg hatching route.

I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, but I wouldn’t swim a single mile

Flat eath gone get you for this one

hey! don’t forget to take some time for yourself. productivity is great, but so is treating your body and your mind right. an hour, five minutes, a day. anything helps. it’s important to take breaks and relieve stress.