Oh, Ms. Believer

"you couldnt make seinfeld today" you couldve made seinfeld in 45 B.C.

(flirting) i could be your problem

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

Wasn’t this Detective Pikachu the film?

i got my cat one of those giant hamster wheel things so she could entertain herself then i showed her how it worked by putting her on it and spinning it slowly then faster then as fast as possible. and the good news is that she looooves her wheel. she just loooves being a hamster cat. but the bad news is that she doesn’t know how to use it solo so she will sit by it and scream until i spin the wheel for her. and if i dont go fast enough shell scream some more. so im hunched over this big wooden wheel turning it like igor and my cat is running so fast that shes panting like a dog and if I slow down even a little she’ll go MEEEOOOWWWWW and i frankly think I need to join a union or something. that bingus has no respect for me.

i was suspicious at the time, but it took a minute for those suspicions to be confirmed. she now does solo runs but appreciates it when i come and spin the wheel myself. for old time's sake.

You've heard of parallel play, now get ready for perpendicular play.

Hot cross buns?

loving yourself is going to save you

Things to do with your twin

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born

WHAT ARE YALL READING RN you must tell me