our spanish teacher was making us describe pictures of lots of weird objects in class and she put this pic on the slide
a girl wrote "es para mike wazowski" and the chat went insane
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@magic-short-bus
our spanish teacher was making us describe pictures of lots of weird objects in class and she put this pic on the slide
a girl wrote "es para mike wazowski" and the chat went insane

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i think it is unjust to deny a child their right to dig a hole motivelessly
when i was 12 i was out there with a shovel for no reason
When I was in elementary school they replaced the playground substrate from sand to bark, but to do that they literally just dumped all of the bark on top of the sand.
For some reason all of us children were livid about this and demanded the sand be brought back, so the kids all sat shoulder to shoulder on their butts and used their legs to kick all of the bark back, progressing through the playground with startling efficiency. There was even a "WHAT DO WE WANT? SAND!" chant going STRONG
3rd grade teacher runs out, near tears, begging us to stop, and this is where she FUCKS UP because she says
"I don't care if you dig a hole to China just stop DOING THAT"
well we stopped doing that, and immediately began construction on The Hole
Within 3 days The Hole was about a foot and a half wide, but The Hole was DEEP. a 5th grader would hop down and disappear entirely. A mob bucket was confiscated from the janitor to deal with the the rising water problem as the hole got deeper. The sheer display of cooperation and dedication we had to The Hole bordered on reverence.
It was the highlight of the day to go to recess and resume construction of The Hole
Eventually I'm pretty sure a second grader fell in and twisted their ankle and then they put a piece of plywood over the top of the hole and covered it with sand and bark. We all forgot about it immediately and I don't remember anyone ever bringing it up again
There is a parallel universe where Tumblr is actually a great functioning site
its exactly as shitty but every other social media site is worse by comparison

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i forget that biden has an actual wife and isn't married to kamala harris sometimes
one must imagine sisyphus big naturals
@walnutsupreme
Booby traps? Sure, I would easily fall into a trap if I saw boobs
despite being interviewed individually, all four gave the exact same response
Can a bitch eat a acorn without everybody freaking tf out
if your daughter abruptly leaves town to avoid her boyfriend, and not even a year later she disappears for three days to italy after aforementioned boyfriend dumps her in the woods and leaves her comatose for months, and then a few months later she marries him, contracts a mysterious illness, and reappears appearing completely healthy with a full-grown toddler who looks suspiciously like her and her new husband, then, well...
good luck charlie

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jake johnson sweetie this is so cute Iāmā
jake johnson, stuck at home in the middle of a pandemic: fuck it Iām going to brighten a whole bunch of kids days by giving them personalized messages from Spiderman
Animal Crossing GameCube was so heartless. Villagers would randomly paint your roof. It was so hard to make money. One time a villager sold me a mystery item without even asking and took all the money I was carrying. 12 thousand bells. It was a pitfall seed.
also. under certain circumstances forgetting to save will get your face taken away
You guys are forgetting the best part
animals when youāre rude to them in new leaf: haha youāre such a kidder! oh well have a good day!
animals when youāre rude to them on gamecube:Ā haha itās funny how much of an ugly bitch you are, you absolute degenerate :) iām going to take everything you love, do you know that? youāll never be shit. youāre going to die alone in the woods with no one around to even hear your last words :)
āDad, why arenāt we allowed to go outside?ā your daughter asks one day. But she already knows. There is no outside anymore.
then why the fuck did she ask
hmmmmmmā¦..
certified iconic post
me: i donāt really like m&m peanuts, i think theyāre overrated
eminem fan appears literally out of nowhere: you just dont get it man, thereās two sides to him, yes he raps about killing women and violently abusing them some times but thats just slim shady. his alter ego! its not really him. other times, he raps about his daugther and how much he loves her. you dont get it⦠u dont understand, youāre just judging him based on his extremely violent and disturbing lyrics. heās actually a good guy and youāre a judgemental prick!!!!!!
Jesus, this aināt no fucking lie.

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Iām not about to kinkshame a whole aquarium but
carry me into the sunset, my cephalopod prince
friends, you donāt understand. This ad campaign was goddamn HUGE. They bought out the entirety of multiple train stations in Boston with these. There are so many more, and theyāre all this same beautiful combination of questionable/amazing.
@lynne-monstr
This is the best thing in my life
Great, now we gotta kinkshame the cephlapods
1) the cephalopods have done nothing, these adverts were made by humans, do not blame these innocent creatures for the things that make you uncomfortable.
2) Jellies are not cephalopods theyāre medusozoas
3) ā¦ngl i really really love cephalopods i think theyāre fascinating and octopodes especially are SUPER THRILLING to me because theyāre so fucking smart, and I would feel, frankly, honored to be embraced by an octopus.
ā¦Itās just occurred to me that I am possibly part of the target demographic for this ad campaign.
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
Itās called a buntā¦. Not weed cigarette⦠And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They donāt look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Iām so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down Iām so mad.
YourĀ āweed smoking girlfriendā has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerpā¦. Donāt ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Donāt wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNINGĀ
Well that escalated quicklyā¦ā¦
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they arenāt worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. Iām yelling so loud and now Iām crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I canāt take anymore. Iām opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that āI HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDSā, āTHEY ALL KISS MEā, and āTHEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURRā.
and letās not forget the āBlaizā and her āwicked tatā, or that he doesnāt āwanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever againā, and that this is āthe FINAL FUCKING WARNINGā.
āthe goo pile that is now your bodyā
iām dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, itāll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot⦠*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omgĀ
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. Iām clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and heās muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals Iām still Ā at the bar. You look to the exit, thereās still time. But thereās not, thereās not, thereās not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. Ā I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I havenāt shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and Iām missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, itās like that only instead of boots itās my muscles and instead of walking itās punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family⦠Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insultedĀ theĀ Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing⦠no playing you fuck. No playing⦠it was real.. the realest thing Iāve ever know.. felt⦠Love. I loved them⦠Blaizā¦. Chas-Chas⦠Funk⦠I loved all three of em⦠but theyā¦*My face is wet with tears and Iām blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me⦠left⦠*Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?!Ā *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging.Ā āPft, you brought this upon yourself dude.ā He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me⦠* I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*