full speed in the wrong direction

usually at this point I have packed up all my gear and weighed my pack but alas I am still in the tail end up the packing stages. but maybe that's just how the trip is gonna be this year. we're kind of scrambling at the last minute because it's supposed to rain all week where we're going and lbr hiking and camping is the rain is not a super fun time. so i guess we'll see what happens. lol worst case scenario we ditch the outdoors entirely and and find some more weather appropriate activities. which would be a bummer but sometimes that's how it goes. this is now the third year in a row we're dealing with heavy rain on the annual backpacking trip. (and we go somewhere different every time! ugh I think I am cursed)

okay enough complaining about the weather. on a good note, I had my annual shitshow doctor appointment with my specialist and all the tests and the labs look good. so yay for me. that is exactly what I was hoping to hear! as a reward, I stopped by the bakery and got a nutella cookie. and holy fuck it was a good damn cookie!

my fandom activities are still on the backburner at the moment. I've decided to just be chill with it. sometimes the brain needs a break and so maybe that's what's going on here. I still want to do a podfic for the tka podfic event that's running but to be honest i'm kind of hitting a wall on that front because i'm remembering how frustrating the lack of engagement on podfics is. I've actually been thinking a lot about this lately, particularly why the lack of response bothers me more for podfics than fics. and ive come to the conclusion that for me, writing a fic is its own catharsis. so even if i don't get much attention the process itself of writing is very satisfying. whereas a podfic feels (at least to me) more like a performance. there's a certain catharsis that comes with the creation of a recording but for me it doesn't come with that same satisfaction that writing does. and a performance when no one claps at the end has a sense of emptiness that doesn't hit me with throwing a fic out into the void.