i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shaneâs side alone, ilyaâs side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.

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@bluemeridian
i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shaneâs side alone, ilyaâs side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.

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something i actually just realized on call w some friends recently is how crazey it is that your online friends are as many as thousands of feet above or below u right now. like if you teleported to their location without changing your height above sea level, well your fucked in some way basically
How high above sea level are you right now?
0-250 feet
251-500 feet
501-750 feet
751-1000 feet
1001-2000 feet
2001-3000 feet
3001-4000 feet
4001-5000 feet
5001-6000 feet
6001-7000 feet
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8001+ feet
I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days
âFantasy is true, of course. It isnât factual, but it is true. Children know that. Adults know it, too, and that is precisely why many of them are afraid of fantasy. They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living.â
â Ursula K. Le Guin, The Language of the Night
@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise... (there's also a baby Ilya and an adult Ilya now)

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i understand you guys now. like i get it
I feel like this is even better when you know that the context is that they've just seem three spectral hags emerge from the fog to recite a prophecy of doom that mentions Captain Kirk by name.
I like how Kirk only adds the Mister when heâs become cross with him.
It's a flirtatious 1960's thing that comes back into fashion in the 2260's.
i know in my heart that shane is the most obnoxious sick person of all time
not because he's a baby a la classic man cold
but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick
he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself
he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him
not happening
as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult
his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing
the majority of the struggle when shane is sick is just making him ADMIT he is sick
Tags via @penandinkprincess
also CACKLING about the way this looks on the outside.
like. no one else on the team understands Hollander Illness Behavior yet, so they're teasing ilya about being overprotective because shane is SO underplaying it and meanwhile ilya is just, "no, i am so fucking serious. get a medic and then call an ambulance."
and shane who is barely on this realm of existence and about 0.2 seconds from having Involuntary Floor Time is just, "don't worry :) i'll just take an advil or something :)"
WHICH IS NOT HELPING EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND THE MOTHERFUCKING GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION, SHANE, NO MORE CONTRIBUTIONS AT THIS TIME FROM YOU, THANK YOU
i noticed my horrible patterns! i think the process stops there
Like I just knooooow people are tired of them. Everyone knows without being told that they are having freak sex CONSTANTLY and that they are so in love about it. Like how does it feel to be together for twelve years married for one and you are STILL knocking the walls down every night. Everyone said it HAS to stop at some point and they are WRONG. Second season on the Cens Shane is still coming in routinely with bite marks on the BACK OF HIS SHOULDER and there is only one mathematical explanation for how they got there. Like ohhhh my name is Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov and the only thing I do is win Stanley Cups and have hot freaky athletic people sex with a man who would kill and die for me and I make MILLIONS OF MONEYS while doing it. I know people hate them.
how often are you getting a headache
daily
weekly
monthly
couple times a year
yearly or less
how often are you getting a tummy ache
daily
weekly
monthly
every couple months
yearly or less
Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

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people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):
various dentists
hotel housekeeping staff
the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)
cleaners and laundry service employees
a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terraceâwait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?
Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella
the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game
employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilyaâs battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"
one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job
Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood
the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain
the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV
There have been a bunch of conversations about how the sex is how Ilya and Shane communicate and how that leads to the boundaries breaking down on the emotional side of things in a way that scared both of them, but I think we should all talk more about the specificity of how terrifying it is to know someone, to be able to predict them, to understand exactly where they're coming from, even when they're inscrutable to other people. It's well known that they play together like a dream, they just know where the other person is on the ice and what they're planning, as if they share a psychic connection. And that's fine, that's not scary, they're the best hockey players in the world, their elite level of skill allows them to be the only ones who can keep up with each other. It's easy to justify that it comes from both of them being so talented that they just naturally move in sync together on the ice. But it's not just on the ice. In the book, Shane sees right through Ilya's act in Sochi. He instinctively understands that Ilya had proven something to someone when he won the Cup, long before he knew about Ilya's family life. He can feel that something is wrong in The Long Game and keeps asking Ilya about it. And until he's ready for it, that level of instinctive understanding when it's not about hockey is pants shittingly terrifying. It's the Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known when you're already Wasian and struggle to not be an awkward potato around 99% of the population and desperately trying not to recognize that you're definitely not interested in women. It sneaks up on Shane because he can justify so much of it Because Of The Hockey Of It All, oh sure he can read Rozanov because they're both hockey players, Shane's hockey IQ is off the charts, of course he understands him so easily. But suddenly he's understanding Rozanov--Ilya--in a way that has nothing to do with hockey, it's so deeply personal and intimate and vulnerable, it's cutting off the path that he's worked his entire life for, and it all crashes down on him. He knows Ilya Rozanov, he knows that Ilya is fishing for more, he has gotten close enough to this guy that he really sees him and is really seen in return. The oh I understand this person of it all, for someone who spends so much of his life hiding himself from others, hits him like a fucking freight train.
David did not tell Yuna what he saw at the cottage. But, he did come home visibly upset so he had to tell her something.
"Is Shane okay?" Was Yuna's first question.
"Yes," David was quick to reassure her. "He's fine. He's great."
"David," Yuna said worriedly, hand on his bicep. "Is Shane okay?"
"He really is. I promise, sweetheart. I would tell you if he wasn't," David promised her because he would. "But I - he was - he's probably going to be headed over here soon."
"Why?" Yuna started to get more worried, despite her husband's reassurances. "David, what happened? Did you two fight?"
David did interrupt his silent retreat but Yuna couldn't imagine Shane getting into a fight with his father over that.
"No," David caught her eyes. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course."
"Then please don't ask. I saw something I shouldn't have and I - I want it to be Shane's choice if he tells us. I promise you he's safe. We didn't fight. He's - he might be upset with me, but he's okay."
Yuna searched his face for another moment before she slowly nodded.
She had an idea of what David might have seen.
She had considered that Shane's 'silent retreat' might not be the complete truth. She also recognized how upset her husband was at unintentionally learning something about their boy that he wasn't ready to share.
"Okay," Yuna pulled him in for a hug. "I'll make some tea."
"I feel so horrible."
"Shane loves you, he'll understand," Yuna said.
"I hope so," David pulled back. "I can make the tea. Shane will probably want some if he comes over."
He used to make Shane hot chocolate after nightmares, or doctor visits, or difficult practices. When he was a teenager, he started asking for tea instead.
Yuna, sensing David needed something to do, said, "use the new one my aunt sent us. It takes a little longer but I think Shane will like it."
~*~*~
"So, what did you see," Yuna asked her husband as they watched their son and his boyfriend, Ilya Rozanov, drive away.
"I wondered how long it would take for you to ask," David smiled.
"Hush you," Yuna glared. "Like you wouldn't be curious. Unless, god, did you walk in on-"
"No," David stopped her. "They were just walking up from the dock. I would have left but when I noticed it was Rozanov - or Ilya, I mean - I was just frozen there."
"Then how did you know they were, you know, together?"
"Well they kissed on the porch," David winced. "And Ilya..."
"Ilya what?"
"He, uh, had his hand on Shane'sâŚbottom."
Yuna and David stared at each other for a few seconds before Yuna couldn't take it anymore, smile spreading across her face and burst out laughing, hand gripping her husbandâs shirt to hold herself up.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Yuna laughed out.
"Yuna!" David admonished but he was laughing too. He reached out to steady her. "It's not funny!"
"When you put it that - that way!" Yuna tried to gather herself. "Ilya Rozanov. Ilya Rozanov. I can't believe it."
"He's a sweet kid," David was still smiling, thinking about Ilya standing awkwardly by his son, happily eating pasta, saying he'd leave the team that drafted him for their Shane.
Yuna softened. "He really is. He looks so much younger in person."
"Well," David wrapped an arm around her waist. "I think he might be ours now."
Iâve had a couple asks (Iâll get to them eventually) that describe Ottawa as a âdowngradeâ in Shaneâs career and that Reidâs point was him choosing Ilya and I just want to sayâŚI donât agree with this premise!
I donât think Ottawa is a downgrade when Shane signs with them. When Ilya signs, yes, because Boston was poised to win the cup and Ilya walks away from that. But when Shane signs Ottawa have just gone to the second round of the playoffs in a massive upset, have a Vezina winning goalie, a very promising rookie, a good coach, and one must assumeâsome high draft picks.
Really Ottawa is insanely stacked and Shane is going to be seen as the missing puzzle piece that finally makes everything work. Heâs going to win three more cups and be absolutely deified. Sure heâs not captain, and maybe he leaves a couple mil on the table. But these are minor concerns
This is why I point out that Shane wasnât locked in on Ottawa. It was his first choice, but I think if another team had made a compelling case or if he didnât think he could win in Ottawa he wouldnât have signed. His dedication to Ilya was in being public and in facing down Crowell, not signing with Ilyaâs team.
Like I say: Shane really does get it all in the end
#I donât think I have many heated rivalry mutuals but I agree with this #plus from a literary craft perspective #Russia is the traumatic past for Ilya #America is the empty present #and Canada is the safer future #Shane creates a place FOR HIM in Canada at the end of Heated Rivalry #not just by inviting him to the cottage but by crafting the Ottawa plan #and introducing Ilya to his parents #the long game is really interesting to me in that Reid is playing around with the trope that the romantic relationship fixes everything #but it doesnât cure your depression esp when you have a genetic predisposition to it #and the depression is also a sort of underline to the fact that Ilya feels stuck #he is in his happy ending so why does it still feel so bad #WHICH IS THE POSITION SHANE WAS IN IN THE FIRST BOOK #he is fulfilling his hockey dream which is his only dream #so why is he so unhappy?? #comp het and internalized homophobia and his own emotional blocks around being gay and being in love with Ilya #heâs stuck #he gets unstuck #this time Ilya gets unstuck because he goes to therapy and deals with his shit and turns things around in his life #but it is Shaneâs turn for the GEOGRAPHIC JOURNEY #and in a moment of neat parallelism #it is Ilyaâs turn to create the happily ever after space FOR SHANE #he has shaped the Centaurs into a real honest playoff contender #and a place where the locker room is an absurdly accepting queer friendly space #just through leading by example and the kind of atmosphere he cultivated #and now Shane has the space and support he was missing #Shane gave Ilya what he was missing: a country and a family that would love him back #Ilya gave Shane what he was missing: a team that would love him back for all that he was including the part of himself he struggled to accep #itâs all about PARALLELISM ABD EQUALITY BABY (via @amarguerite)

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condo stairway scene gets me every single time bc of the way ilya lingers. the way he takes way too long to tie his shoes & adjust his jeans, the way he stands for a moment even though his cab is definitely there & the way he teases shane as he slowly lowers himself to give the sweetest, most unhurried kiss goodbye.
Shane & Ilya Heated Rivalry, S01E06